An article from:
Colorado Springs Pregnancy Center Newsletter
3700 Galley Road, Suite 150
Colorado Springs, CO 80909
Pointers for Parents
The Most Precious Gift
by Kenneth Poppe, Ph.D.
As parents, you have probably given your children many presents at various
cost. Do you ever wonder which one gave you the value for the money?
When my daughter Andrea stepped from 14 to 15, I gave her a birthday present
that I believe will prove to be the most precious of all. It cost more than
most, but definitely less than others, and yet its value is beyond measure.
Furthermore, it is a gift she has promised to relinquish at a time not that
far away. The gift is a small gold ring, simple in design and moderate in
cost. But it represents the most precious gift God has bestowed on humans,
the gift of physical, sexual surrender to each other, and all the emotional
investment that goes with it.
I can still remember my stumbling speech as I tried to describe to Andrea
that a man can appear rather self-sufficient. He can master his machines,
conquer the business world, overcome nature's elements, etc., and act like
an island unto himself. (I occasionally suffer from that delusion.) But I
told her there is one thing that a man can never secure on his own and that
gift is the gift of committed companionship by a woman. He will trade all
his toys for it.
However, I told Andrea some girls do not respect God's gift. They separate
the sexual from the total package and give it away; perhaps thinking that
sex will produce a complete relationship, perhaps mistaking hormones for
happiness. When it doesn't work with one guy, then try another, often
finally subjecting themselves to a parade of immature and greedy boys. Such
boys, with grabby fingers and insincere promises, are unprincipled enough to
take the dowry and not make the commitment. Then, as each encounter takes
away another piece of the girl's heart, she is soon no longer fit for a
mature relationship when one comes along.
So as I handed Andrea the ring, I told her it symbolized that first
physical, sexual surrender that should only happen with a man that her
maturity tells her will devote all of himself to her, for life. And since
the ring represents this most precious gift she is giving to hi on this
event, the ring becomes his possession as well.
Will she keep her abstinence promise? I believe so. And if she does, here
is the probable value of the gift:
1) Freedom from the threat of sexually transmitted diseases
2) Freedom from unwanted pregnancies and a chance to fully enjoy youth.
3) Freedom from the intense and derailing psychological entanglements that
are not appropriate for this age.
4) Freedom from the pain of trying to heal a torn heart later on in life
while trying to build a relationship with true potential. And all for the
price of a small gold ring!
Morgan, my youngest, is five. Will she get a ring as well? Count on it.
But there will be one change, I'll do it sooner in her life. As a lifelong
secondary teacher, I can only guess how many naive or out of touch parents
don't realize their daughter's most precious gift is long since gone by her
P.S. For those who promote safe sex instead of abstinence education,
re-read the next to the last paragraph. Contraceptives proved no complete
freedom from STDs and pregnancies, only a hope to beat the percentages of
their failure rates, hope that continues to dim as research into viral
transmissions progress. And, of course, the only influence frequently used
contraceptives have on psychological entanglements and a torn heart is to
increase the pain.