Mass for Families, Kinshasa (2 May 1980)

On Friday, 2 May 1980, the Holy Father celebrated a Mass for Families, saying in his homily that “the Christian family, leaven of society, is also a presence, an epiphany of God in the world.”

Dear Christian spouses,
fathers and mothers of families:

1. Emotion and joy invade my heart as universal Pastor of the Church. because for the first time I am given the grace to meditate with African homes —and for them— on his particular vocation: Christian marriage. May God—who has revealed himself "One in Three Persons"—help us throughout this meditation. The theme is wonderful, but the reality is difficult! If Christian marriage is comparable to a very high mountain that places the spouses in the immediate vicinity of God, it must be recognized that the ascent to said mountain requires a lot of time and a lot of effort. But could this be a reason to suppress it or lower its height? Is it not a fact that the human person is fully realized and dominates the universe thanks to moral and spiritual ascents, much more than technical and even spatial achievements,

Together we will make a pilgrimage to the sources of marriage, and then we will try to evaluate its dynamism at the service of spouses, children, society and the Church. Finally, we will join forces to promote an increasingly efficient family ministry.

2. Everyone knows the famous story of creation with which the Bible begins. It says that God made man in his image, creating him male and female. Here is what immediately surprises, first of all. To be like God, humanity must be a couple of two people moving towards each other, two people whom perfect love will bring together in unity. This movement and this love make them resemble God who is love itself, the absolute unity of Three Persons. Never has the splendor of human love been sung more beautifully than in the first pages of the Bible. "The man exclaimed: this indeed is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. That is why a man will leave his father and his mother, and will adhere to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (Gen. 2, 23-24). And paraphrasing Pope Saint Leo, I cannot help but tell you: "Christian spouses: recognize your eminent dignity".

This pilgrimage to the sources also reveals to us that the initial couple is monogamous in God's plan. And this certainly surprises us, given that civilization —in the times in which the Biblical narratives take shape— is generally far from such a cultural model. This monogamy, which is not of Western but Semitic origin, is an expression of the interpersonal relationship, that is, of the one in which each one of the parties is recognized by the other as of equal value and in the totality of her person. This monogamous and personalistic conception of the human couple is an absolutely original revelation that bears the stamp of God and deserves to be delved into more and more.

3. But this story that began so well in the luminous dawn of the human race experienced the drama of the break between this entirely new couple and the Creator. It is the original sin. And yet this break will be the occasion for a new manifestation of God's love. Often compared to an infinitely faithful Husband, for example, in the texts of the Psalmists and the Prophets, God ceaselessly renews his alliance with this capricious and sinful humanity. These repeated alliances will culminate in the definitive Alliance that God sealed in his own Son, who freely sacrificed himself for the Church and for the world. Saint Paul does not hesitate to present this Covenant of Christ with the Church as a symbol and model of every covenant between man and woman (cf. Eph.5, 25) united in marriage indissolubly.

Such are the titles of nobility of Christian marriage. They are a source of light and strength for the daily realization of the conjugal and family vocation for the benefit of the spouses themselves, their children, the society in which they live and the Church of Christ. Wisely used African traditions can take their place in building Christian homes in Africa; I am specifically thinking of all the positive values ​​of the sense of family so deeply rooted in the African soul and which presents multiple aspects, undoubtedly capable of leading civilizations considered to be advanced to reflection: the seriousness of the marriage commitment at the end of a long road, the priority granted to the transmission of life and hence the importance given to the mother and children, the law of solidarity between the families that have sealed an alliance and that is exercised especially in favor of the elderly, widows and orphans, a kind of co-responsibility to take care of them and also take care of the education of the children, capable co-responsibility to soften many psychological tensions, the cult of ancestors and the deceased, which favors fidelity to traditions. Of course, the delicate problem is to assume all this family dynamism, inherited from ancestral customs, transforming and sublimating it in the perspectives of the society that is being born in Africa. But anyway, the conjugal life of Christians is lived —through different times and situations— following in the footsteps of Christ the liberator and redeemer of all men and of all the realities that constitute the life of men. "And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus", as Saint Paul tells us (Col 3. 17).

4. Therefore, conforming to Christ who gave himself up out of love for his Church. It is how spouses arrive day by day at the love of which the Gospel speaks to us: "Love one another as I have loved you", and more precisely to the perfection of the indissoluble union on all levels. Christian spouses have promised to communicate how much they are and how much they have. It is the most audacious contract that can exist, and also the most wonderful!

The union of their bodies willed by God himself as an expression of the even deeper communion of their spirits and hearts, carried out with as much respect as tenderness, renews the dynamism and youth of their solemn commitment, of their first. "Yeah".

The union of their characters: because to love a being is to love them as they are, it is to love them to the point of cultivating in themselves the antidote to their weaknesses or defects, for example, calmness and patience if the other is notoriously lacking .

The union of hearts! The nuances that differentiate the love of a man from that of a woman are innumerable. Each of the parties cannot demand to be loved as he loves. It is important to renounce —over and over— the secret reproaches that separate hearts, and free oneself from this pain at the most propitious moment. There is a sharing that is very unifying, that of joys and, even more, that of the sufferings of the heart. But it is above all in the common love for children that the union of hearts is strengthened.

The union of intelligences and wills! Spouses are also two diversified forces and, at the same time, join them in mutual service and in the service of their home, of their social environment and in the service of God. The essential agreement must manifest itself in the determination and pursuit of common objectives. The most energetic part must support the will of the other, supplied at times, and lever with skill, like educating.

Finally, the union of souls, souls united themselves to God! Each of the spouses must reserve moments of solitude with God, of "heart to heart", where the other spouse is not the first concern. This personal life of the soul with God, which is indispensable, is far from excluding the sharing of all married and family life. On the contrary, it encourages Christian spouses to seek God together. to discover together his will and to carry it out concretely with the lights and energies that they have drawn from God himself.

5. Such vision and realization of the alliance between man and woman goes far beyond the spontaneous desire that has united them. Marriage is truly for them a path of promotion and sanctification. It is a source of life! Don't Africans have an admirable respect for life that is just beginning? They deeply love children. They welcome them with great joy. Christian parents will know how to guide their children along the path of an existence anchored in human and Christian values. Teaching them throughout a style of life revised and perfected with courage, which means respect for every person, disinterested service to others, renouncing whims, repeated forgiveness over and over again, loyalty in all things, conscientious work and finding faith with the Lord,

6. Christian marriage is called to also be a leaven of moral progress for society. Realism makes us recognize the threats that threaten the family as a natural and Christian institution. in Africa as elsewhere, due to certain customs and also to cultural mutations that are becoming widespread. Doesn't it occur to you to compare the modern family with a canoe that sails through it? river and make your way through choppy waters and obstacles? Like me, you know how notions of fidelity and indissolubility are overthrown by public opinion. You also know that the fragility and cracking of homes cause a procession of miseries, although the solidarity of the African family tries to remedy them in terms of taking care of the children. Christian homes, solidly prepared and properly accompanied. they have to work without discouragement in the restoration of the family, which is the first cell of society and must remain a school of social virtues. The State should not fear such homes, but rather protect them.

7. The Christian family, leaven of society, is also a presence, an epiphany of God in the world. The Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes (No. 48) contains luminous pages on the radiation of this "profound community of life and love" which is at the same time the very first basic ecclesial community. "The Christian family, whose origin is in marriage, which is the image and participation in the covenant of love between Christ and the Church, will manifest to all the living presence of the Savior in the world and the authentic nature of the Church, be it through the love, generous fertility, the union and fidelity of the spouses, or the loving cooperation of all its members". What dignity and what responsibility!

Yes, this sacrament is great! The spouses have confidence, because their faith assures them that with this sacrament they receive the strength of God. a grace that will accompany them throughout their lives. And never stop going to the copious source that is in them.

8. I would not like to end this meditation without strongly exhorting the Bishops of Africa to continue their efforts —despite the well-known difficulties— for the "pastoral care of Christian homes" with a new dynamism and hope that is unfailing. I know that this is the constant concern of many of them, and I admire them. I also congratulate the many African families that are already realizing the Christian ideal of which I have spoken, with specifically African qualities, and are an example and a point of attraction for other families. But let me insist.

Without renouncing any of their interest in the human and religious formation of children and adolescents, and taking into account African sensitivity and customs, the dioceses must gradually establish a pastoral care aimed at the spouses together, and not just at one or the other. another party. Intensify the preparation of young people for marriage by encouraging them to follow a true preparation for married life, which will reveal to them the Christian identity of the couple and give them maturity in their interpersonal relationships and in their family and social responsibilities. These marriage preparation centers need the solidary support of the dioceses and the generous and competent help of counselors, experts and homes capable of giving a qualified witness.

9. This family ministry must also accompany the youth homes as they are created. Days of spiritual renewal, retreats, meetings between homes, will support young couples in their human and Christian journey. On all these occasions, a fair balance must be struck between doctrinal formation and spiritual animation. The space for meditation, for conversation with the faithful God, is capital. Being with Him, the spouses obtain the grace of fidelity, understand and accept the need for asceticism that generates true freedom, assume again or decide their family and social commitments that will make their homes sources of radiation. It will be very useful. without a doubt, that the homes of a parish and a diocese come together to form a great family Movement, not only to help Christian couples to live according to the Gospel, but also to contribute to the restoration of the family, defending its values ​​against all kinds of assaults and in the name of the rights of man and citizen. For this fundamental plan of a family ministry that is increasingly adapted to the needs of our times and your regions, I place full confidence in you, the Bishops, my dear brothers in the Episcopate.

10. May you discover in this meeting the sign of the great interest that the Pope places in the serious problems of the family, the testimony of his trust and hope in your Christian homes, and the courage to act yourselves more than ever in this land of Africa, for the greater good of your nations and the honor of the Church of Christ, in favor of the solid construction of family communities "of life and love" according to the Gospel. I promise to always carry this great intention in my heart and in my prayers. And God, who has revealed himself as a family in the unity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, bless you, and his blessing be always with you.

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