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If, then, there are serious
motives to space out births, which derive from the physical or
psychological conditions of husband and wife, or from external
conditions, the Church teaches that it is then licit to take into
account the natural rhythms immanent in the generative functions…
[Pope Paul VI, Humanae Vitae 16]
For just reasons,
spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their
duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by
selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to
responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior
to the objective criteria of morality. [Catechism of the Catholic
Church 2368]
However, profoundly
different from any contraceptive practice is the behavior of married couples, who, always remaining fundamentally open to
the gift of life, live their intimacy
only in the unfruitful periods, when they are led to this course by serious
motives of responsible parenthood. This is true both from the
anthropological and moral points of
view, because it is rooted in a different conception of the
person and of sexuality. The witness of couples who for years have
lived in harmony with the plan of the Creator,
and who, for proportionately serious reasons, licitly
use the methods rightly called "natural," confirms that it
is possible for spouses to live the demands of chastity and of
married life with common accord and full self-giving.
[Pontifical Council for the Family, Vademecum for Confessors
Concerning Some Aspects of the Morality of Conjugal Life, 2.6]
Serious motives, just reasons, proportionately
serious reasons. The Church teaches the necessity of
just or serious motives or reasons for couples to use the infertile
periods of a woman's cycle for the purpose of spacing births. In doing so
she is trying to insure
that the natural methods of spacing children are used in a virtuous
and loving way, i.e., unselfishly. Serious reasons mean important,
or non-trivial, reasons, deriving "from the physical or
psychological conditions of husband and wife, or from external
conditions" (HV 16). Just reasons are, likewise, reasons
which correspond to the truth of marriage and the situation of the
couple. It is the nature of justice to correspond to the truth. Both
terms, serious and just, presumes there can be selfish, trivial or
unjust reasons for using NFP, reasons not in keeping with the nature
of marriage as a community of life and love.
With the increased use of NFP in recent decades
the Church has discovered that the informed practice of NFP actually
builds virtue. In other words, couples who have used NFP become
unselfish by using NFP properly. Thus, the Church has learned that
if authentic virtue is weak or absent at the beginning, using NFP
properly instills it! Love is a choice in one's will to give oneself
to another. But that choice is founded on the recognition of the
dignity of the other as well as the dignity of oneself (who would
give oneself to another if one thought the gift worthless?).
Therefore, anything which leads to a greater appreciation of the
dignity and value of human beings fosters love.
The human body is the expression or
manifestation of the human person. John Paul II speaks of the body
as revealing the person and when we express God-like acts through
the body, the body is actually a physical image of God. Pope John
Paul II goes so far as to say that the human body speaks a language.
(Theology of the Body series, as well as Familiaris
Consortio.) Since we are created to act as God acts, and He
LOVES, we are created to love as He does. Since we have bodies, and
we express our acts in and through our bodies, God gave us a means
of expressing love physically. Since true, authentic love is THE
most God-like act possible for human beings (because it is the most
God-like act), and since the body has the possibility of expressing
this love, the study of those powers of the body through which we
can express an intimate self-giving love will reveal more about the
person and even about God than the study of other aspects of the
human body.
NFP is the study and knowledge of the bodily
powers through which we bodily express conjugal love. NFP,
therefore, reveals the dignity of both spouses to one another. In
revealing this awesome dignity, it fosters love as well as a deep
and abiding respect in each spouse for himself or herself and for
the other. It also builds an unbelievable longing to share the
infinite goods of human life with others, i.e., with children. NFP
then builds a respect for human life. With this respect in place
through the use of NFP, any decision by a couple to try to achieve a
pregnancy or to avoid will be made for a good reason. It is not that
serious reasons are not necessary—they are. But, a couple
practicing NFP after taking the classes and knowing the method,
practicing their faith attending Church and receiving the
sacraments, with an active prayer life, and conscientious about the
religious education of their children, will, if they decide to avoid
a pregnancy, have serious reasons. This is what was meant by saying
that virtue results from using NFP. It should also be noted that NFP
couples generally discuss whether or not to try to achieve a
pregnancy every single month. This re-examination also builds a
respect for life.
Pastors routinely try to persuade engaged
couples to use NFP after they are married. Most engaged couples, however, will tell the priest that
they want to avoid a pregnancy, at least for awhile. Pastors are
very pleased if they are able to convince the couple to use NFP.
As the experience of the last twenty or thirty years shows,
NFP helps build marriages with authentic love. What happens is that
the general attitude of these couples to avoid a pregnancy is
contradicted by the specific attitude of each marital act which is
open to life. Eventually the specific attitude changes the general
attitude and couples often surprise themselves by giving life to
more children than they ever thought possible.
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