EWTN Catholic Q&A
Marriage
Question from Anonymous on 10-26-2012:

Dear EWTN,

I have a question that has been bothering me for some time. Over the past several years, my wife and I have been at odds. We fight almost daily. I do not believe in divorce, so I have no intentions of leaving, nor do I have any desire to violate my vows and pursue a relationship with another woman.

My problem simply is this...I just don't love my wife anymore. As I said, I would never leave or cheat, but am I in a state of sin for feeling this way?

Answer by David Gregson on 01-28-2014:

Love is more a function of the will than of feelings. To love a person, according to St Thomas Aquinas, is to will that person's good. In marriage, it is to put your spouse's good above your own. Do that and I expect that your feelings will improve as well. Remember the example of our Lord Jesus Christ, who was willing to sacrifice His life for the good of humanity. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." (Eph 5:25)

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