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Despair
Question from anon on 3/27/2008:

Dr. Geraghty, I have been diagnosed with a bad mental illness and feel despair. I have have a condtion where I get blasphemous thoughts. This has been going on for one year, has resulted in awful depression and bittness. I am a young man. Unable to work because of this. I am trying to get well, but this has resulted in much jealousy of others due to my condition. I am trying to get well. Doing everything I know, but feel like my heart is almost hard. I don't know why this is happening prior to the I tried to be a good person and was never anyone who tried to hurt anyone. I wonder why God is permitting this. I have been harshly judged by many because of this. My question is how does one get out of despair? I hope I did not commit the unpardonable sin. I go to confession frequently with my spiritual adviser who has been a great friend through this. I had a few priests prior to finding him that were harsh with me. Not what one needs when suffering like this, but priests are human too and can make mistakes in compassion just as laity can. Thank God for this priest or I would be hopeless. I am not getting the graces from confession and I feel out of place at church. What is the remedy for despair if that is what I am expereincing and I am having such a hard time trusting in Christ's mercy because this has been going on for over one year. Is it ever too late for Christ's love to penetrate in my heart. That is the remedy I know rationally. But what can I do? I almost feel like a lost soul but I want to get well and be able to servce God one day. I feel filled with pride due to the illness. There has to be a remedy. Apparently according to medical science there is genetics involved in this mental affliction and I was born with a predispositiion to it. I just want to get well. I certainl want to be happy here and ulmtimately not go to hell but get to Heave, but I feel lost. I would appreciate any feedback. I am sorry if this is an unusual email. I just feel so alone and despite my best efforts nothing is really working. I hope to hear from you.

Anon

Answer by Richard Geraghty on 5/30/2008:

Dear Anon,

You have been wise enough in your affliction to speak to your priest. Stick with him. You cannot handle this alone.

Dr. Geraghty

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