I have been married to my husband for over 1 yr now, and i know the first year is always the most challenging. but i never knew i would be so disappointed and hurt. my husband and i are on facebook and we figured it would be a way to connect with old friends. shortly after he was on the phone with some woman, he told me that his brother went to school with her and both of them were alter servers at their church. i was suspicious and hurt that he was talking to her but he reassured me that they were just going to be friends. later on i became more suspicious and starting checking his voicemail and text messages and found multiple inappropriate texts and messages left on his facebook page. i confronted him about this and he told me he was sorry and he was only kidding around, but i didn't think it was to funny. unfortanately things continued. shortly after our 1 yr wedding anniversary he told me that he had kissed her and that he felt so bad he had to tell me. he soon cut off all ties with her. a couple of weeks later, i found him talking to her again on facebook and he reassured me that they were only going to talk on facebook. but i still and finding suspicious text messages and extended phone calls on his cell to her phone number. to top that off he has no desire for intamacy, i find him looking up pornography on the internet and find him masturbating daily after he comes home from work. he fervently denies doing this even when i catch him in the act. i fell so hopeless i don't know what to do, i don't know who to talk to because this is so embarresing for me. my husband states he is a firm catholic, he does go to mass regularly and he is also a eucharistic minister. please help me.

I think that you need to separate from him until the time that he is willing to be faithful to you. I hope that no children are involved. You should not tolerate what you are describing. In fact, if this pattern of behavior was present before the marriage, there might be grounds for nullity based on partial simulation with an intention against fidelity on your husband's part.

The general rule of thumb for married couples is that they should not do anything with another person that they would not do in front of their spouse. Fidelity also excludes such inappropriate interactions on the internet and completely excludes the use of pornography.

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