First of all, let me apologize for this being so lengthy. I’m just not sure what information is important for you to know. Thank you so much for your time and any input is much appreciated. So here it is.

I have been married less than 2 years. We have a child from this marriage. My husband has told me the day after we got married that he regretted the marriage. He has said that he wanted a divorce about 50 times. He says he loves me than hates me. He calls me the devil and everything else you can think of. He may be bi- polar. At times, I feel I am too.

To be honest, my heart was never in this marriage. I just wanted a father figure for my daughter (who is from a previous civil marriage). I was more concerned with having cultural unity (him being Hungarian) than having Christ the unifying force. Christ is the key essential ingredient that was missing. Do I have grounds of nullity?

God is a good and just. I’m the one who is confused and messes things up because I think He was giving me signs all along that I chose to ignore.

For example, we did not consummate the marriage on the wedding night because of outside circumstance. The next day he screamed at me like an insane person. I could have gone to the priest who married us then and say it was a mistake. I wish I did.

Also, before we got married I did not disclose to the priest that I have a very strong emotional tie to someone else, let’s call him Mr. D. I felt a strong need to say it to the priest but I didn’t. This may have driven a wedge in the marriage, but Christ not being the center is the most important part.

You see, I met Mr. D in Medjugore at 14. So I always thought that Our Lady brought us together. And there was a deep friendship at which Christ was the center. But it’s like I was fighting God and rejecting His gift to me. (The reason I did that is because my mother is very controlling, fanatical and used religion as a punishment. For a long time, I had a great difficulty separating the image of God from my mother. So in rebelling against my mother, I pushed away God and also Mr. D. whom my mother adored.) I rebelled in the name of gaining my own identity. But what do you gain when you don’t have God? I gained nothing, and in coming back to God I find my true identity and I find myself longing for my old spiritual friend.

My husband may have grounds to get a decree of nullity because I’m so emotionally unstable, but do I have grounds?

Thank you

To me it sounds like you might have grounds for nullity. I would say that there are a few possibilities. There are possible grounds of nullity based on total simulation of marriage (that is, that you did not truly intend marriage as designed by God) and also relating to psychological grounds, both of these grounds might be on the part of each party.

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