I am a convert of 10 years and can honestly say I've spent more time outside the Church than inside. All my family is Protestant and so I am very alone in my Catholicism. I struggle with accepting all that the Church teaches and although I affirmed my belief when converting, the doubts and confusion never seem to go away. I leave and come back, leave and come back...it's almost as if the Church has some supernatural hold on me. My question is a difficult one as my goal was to stop the madness of my endless indecision. I feel like such a hipocrite staying and saying I believe, when I do not and yet I know that the Eucharist and Sacraments will strengthen me. So what did I do to remedy the situation? I wrote a letter to the Bishop stating I left the Church when in fact I did not.....so not only did I excommunicate myself, I lied to do it. May God have mercy on me a sinner.....Any prayers or advice would be appreciated.....

I would suggest that you not write more letters to the bishop, that you go to confession, and that you continue to take advantage of opportunities to learn more about your faith. I am not sure what educational opportunities there are available in your local parish or diocese, but I encourage you to look into them. In particular, I suggest sources that emphasize "apologetics."

I also encourage you to get involved in parish activities in general. It is hard to make friends among other parishioners simply by going to Mass. Once a person gets involved in other things, usually friendships develop. These friendships can be a valuable source of support, especially for people who do not have family support for their faith. We cannot be Christians alone.

If you wrote a letter but it is did not reflect your true intention, then you are not excommunicated.

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