Fr,

I'd like a clear answer on this question/topic. I am a happily married father of two children, and right now they are very young, so this answer for them really won't be necessary until they are much older, but I'd like to know so I'll have a good answer for them someday. I understand that living together while being sexually active before marriage is sin. My question is, if the parties sleep in separate rooms, and respect each other's privacy in terms of baths and bathroom use, and truly are not sexually active, then is this arrangement a sin. I understand that there could be temtations to sin, and near occasions of sin, and I really do understand that living together is simply "not a good idea", but is it sinful? I've wondered this for years, and I'll tell my children they shouldn't do it, but can I tell them that its sinful? Please boil this down and clarify this for me; i've heard it might be sinful in terms of the scandal it causes, please explain this clearly too.

Regards, JK

You are correct that this is at least a near occasion of sin but the other complication is the matter of scandal, since living together is a public matter, regardless of what may not happen in private. The presumption--a fair assumption--is that if a man and woman are living together, that they are sexually active. I would add, however, that it is at least preferable to remain sexually chaste in such a situation. I have turned away couples who are living together prior to marriage who refuse to seperate, except in the case of couples who have already established a life together with children or a civil marriage, in which case I ask them to commit to chastity and have a more private ceremony or blessing of vows (convalidation).

Thanks, JK

Father Echert

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