Please forgive me that this is not exactly an Apologetics question, but I hope you can help me.

I went to confession to a young priest and he instructed me that the correct formula/response since Vatican II is for the priest to say the sign of the cross and then "Peace be with you," and I am supposed to respond, "And also with you." Then he asks "How long has it been since your last confession?" and "What are you here to confess?"

Honestly, this was disconcerting for me. For a lifetime, I'd gone to confession the way I learned as a child: "Please bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been xyz weeks/months/years since my last confession, and since then...."

The priest told me "Peace be with you / And also with you" is the only proper form for confession since Vatican II. Is this the case? I have a friend who has been away from the Church a long time and I've been encouraging him to go to confession. I would like to make it as easy and unconfusing as possible. What should I tell him? It may seem silly, but I'm still rattled by being told how I confessed was not proper. I did not think I was doing anyting wrong.

Thank you for any guidance you can give me.

Anon--

While there are indeed confession catechesis books that lay out the formula your priest gave you, it is by no means "the only proper form for confession." The essential form for confession is for the penitent to confess his sins and for the priest to grant absolution. The rest of the process is helpful but somewhat extraneous.

That said, the penitent should defer to the priest for direction in the confessional. If the priest asks you to follow this formula, then by all means do so. As for your friend, just advise him to say, "Father, it's been many years since my last confession. Please help me to make a good confession."

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers

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