I am a Roman Catholic who has been away from the Church for awhile. I want to return. A priest told me I cannot participate in Mass or go to confession or receive Communion until my husband, who is a non-Catholic, gets his two previous marriages annulled. If my husband never does this, does this mean that I can never confess my sins or receive Communion again? My heart is aching, I need to confess, I long to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. There must be something I can do.

Pamela--

I am sorry that the priest was so discouraging to you. The information he gave you is somewhat incorrect. He is correct that you cannot currently receive the sacraments, but he was wrong that you cannot go to Mass and he was wrong that your only option is for your husband to have his prior marriages annulled before you can be reconciled to the Church.

Mass

Anyone, Catholic or non-Catholic, may attend Mass and may participate to the extent that they are not hindered by impediment or conscience. In your case, it appears that the impediment of having married a man previously married twice before hinders you from receiving sacramental Communion. You can however attend Mass, pray, and make spiritual communions (asking Jesus in personal prayer to be with you and to make it possible for you to overcome any impediment to sacramental Communion). To avoid scandal for others, I recommend that you not participate in lay ministries at Mass (EMHC, lector, usher, gift-bearer, etc.) while your marriage remains irregular.

Sacraments

A Catholic currently in an invalid marriage ordinarily cannot receive the sacraments. This is because the assumption is that the Catholic is presumably involved in an ongoing state of adultery (i.e., engaged in ongoing illicit relations with the putative spouse). But, if that assumption is not in fact the case, then the Catholic may go to confession and receive Communion. Meaning....

Options

If your husband does place his marriages before a marriage tribunal and eventually gets his marriage to you regularized, your marriage will no longer be invalid. In the meantime, if you and your husband agree to live as "brother and sister" (i.e., no marital relations), you can go to confession for attempting to marry a man already presumed to be married, explain to the priest that you and your husband will not have marital relations pending a regularization of your marriage, be absolved, and be restored to a state of grace in which you can then receive Communion. Keep in mind that this option is not easy or simple, but it is a possibility if you badly enough desire reconciliation with the Church and to receive the sacraments now.

For more information, I recommend contacting the St. Joseph Foundation, a Catholic apostolate that specializes in matters of canon law.

Recommended reading:

Annulments: What You Need to Know by Jimmy Akin
Annulments and the Catholic Church by Edward Peters

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers

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