Dear Father,

I am confused about mortal sin. I know the definition of mortal sin, but even with that I found out some sins were mortal that I never thought could be, like missing a Sunday Mass, and others, because they did not seem like serious sins in my own mind. This made me doubt my reasoning abilities and want to depend on the Church more. For a long time I was at peace trying to live the best I could and confess all my sins. However, things began to get more confusing when I began to learn more about God and feel guiltier for sins than before, and began to feel more responsible for my sins because I should “know better.” Increasingly it seems like any sin that I commit could possibly be grave, and although I know they are not all grave, I feel more confused than ever about which ones are and which ones aren’t. It seems some saints had a fear of Hell and were not sure they were going to Heaven, when they lived such Holy lives! Do venial sins become more serious if the person becomes more knowledgeable in the faith? When I go to confession, I ask the priest to tell me if my sins are mortal but most of the time they seem to forget, though once in a while they explain when a sin is mortal or not but it seems their reasoning is so lofty and far above my ability to remember or understand it. Most Sundays I have no idea whether or not I am worthy of going to receive the Eucharist or not, and so I can bear it no longer. Although I want to tell myself I need to just make it to confession every week, and be at peace, I know I might miss one week and then I will need your answer to look back to for guidance in those moments when I feel confused. The reason I am so concerned is mostly related to not wanting to offend Jesus.

Also, when I am in doubt of whether or not a sin I have committed is mortal, should I receive communion or not receive?

If I feel like I need a spiritual director, I tell myself that I am asking too much of the Church, because I think spiritual directors are really only required for religious and people considering a religious vocation, right?

Thank you so much for your help and God Bless you for how much you help people!!!! Thanks to you many are lead on the right path.

Two things I think might be helpful:

1. Spiritual Direction is not just reserved for religious or those discerning such a vocation. Anyone (and perhaps even everyone) should have a Spiritual Director.

2. You're getting caught up not so much in what the Church teaches about Mortal Sin and Venial Sin, but what you think the Church teaches about it. As you progress in the spiritual life (and perhaps gain a spiritual director, this may go away). In the meantime, try your best to do what Catholics did for years: Confession on Saturday, Mass on Sunday.

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