I am catholic from birth divorced from father of my 4 children(one died)alcoholic and abusive man and re-married to a non religious man civilly without receiving annullment.I have not sought annullment as i am very concerned for the security of my children.I know my ex will use this as me causing trouble.He has mentally manipulated the children badly and they have suffered greatly i really do not want to put them through any more.I pray for my ex husband and his wife and her children every day i harbour no ill feeling at all toward him and totally forgive him.At Mass today (i go daily but cant receive Holy Communion)the priest mentioned in his homily that if we are not in a state of grace (which i am not) then i cannot go to heaven.Although technically i live in an adulterous relationship with my husband (i know in Gods eyes i am still married to my ex husband as we were married in catholic church)i am civilly remarried to we are not having sexual relations and havent for nearly 2 years.We have a deeper relationship than that my husband attends Mass with me occasionally especially Easter and has learnt a great deal from me and my family about the church.He has expressed interest in becoming a catholic. My mother lives with me i gave up my career to care for my 2 disabled sisters and 4 neices 18mnths ago.I sponsor a child in Uganda and help a refugee family weekly i am active in my parish belonging to groups walked the streets collecting and distributing envelopes all last week for christian aid.I pray constantly and God answers my prayers.If im so bad why does He love me so much and answers my prayers every time?Am i going to hell because i havent gotten an annullment and forgiven my ex and dont want to upset my children any more?If im not in a state of grace i cannot receive Holy Communion,if i dont receive Holy Communion i will not be able to go to heaven is that correct?thankyou

You need to make an appointment with your pastor and explain your situation to him. I suggest you talk also with your original husband. You say that God has been answering your prayers. Perhaps he will answer this prayer also, that your husband will cooperate with your attempt to obtain an annulment.

While your second "marriage" was adulterous as long as you were in a sexual relationship, it has ceased to be so if you have agreed to live together as brother and sister. Ask your priest what other measures may be necessary to avoid causing scandal if your were to return to Holy Communion. Then ask him if he will hear your confession.

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