Question from kathleen on 01-18-2014:
I am married in the catholic church for 1 year.. and recently found out that my husband has been having an ongoing long term affair for not only our entire marriage, but also the 3 years we dated prior to our marriage. He was with this woman for 12 years, including the end of his first marriage. It sounds crazy, but we otherwise have a beautiful love and wonderful married life. We're not fighting and yelling or having trouble getting along. We've always had an ease about us. I am heartbroken and devastated though and trust is broken. He has ended the affair and gone to the priest for confession and promises to change his life and be faithful to me always. He says he's sorry, although he ended it only after I discovered the affair. My question is about honesty, infidelity, integrity, forgiveness. I'm not even sure we have a valid sacramental catholic marriage at this point, since his affair was ongoing even at the time of our catholic marriage. Do I end my marriage ? Do I stay committed and forgive him, even though he was never honest, not one day, until I discovered this two weeks ago ?
I need help.. guidance.. direction..
thanks so much,
|Answer by Richard Geraghty on 03-02-2014:|
Talk your situation over with a priest whose mind is in union with the Church. Whatever your decision is, you need to talk with someone who can bring the grace of God on you. That's the best advise i as a stranger can give you. Some saints have put up with the infidelity of their mates. Some haven't. It's not a cut and dried situation. I should add that EWTN has many good programs on the difficulties of marriage. Get into the habit of listening to tham.