EWTN Catholic Q&A
Sending wedding gifts
Question from Anonymous on 08-07-2013:

A member of my family will be getting married soon. He received his baptism, first Communion, and confirmation in the Catholic Church. However, he is not a practicing Catholic. I don't know if the girl he is marrying is Catholic or not (they live some distance from where I live). They will not be getting married in a Catholic church and it is my understanding that there will not be Catholic priest at the ceremony. I have decided it would be wrong to attend the ceremony. This is likely to cause some family discord, which I am willing to accept. However, I would like to opinion on whether it would be appropriate to even send a card or gift to the couple.

Answer by Catholic Answers on 08-08-2013:


Wedding cards and gifts are given as a tangible means of expressing joy over the marriage that has just occurred. If you have determined that you cannot in conscience attend this wedding, then you should have nothing to do with it -- even to the extent of sending congratulatory cards or gifts.

What you can do is to write the couple a letter -- on personal stationery, not a "Congratulations on your wedding" card -- in which you express to them your love for them and prayers "for their future." You need not mention what exactly you are praying for their future to hold (e.g., conversion, regularization of their marriage status, etc.).

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers