EWTN Catholic Q&A
Dealing with gay family member
Question from Lisa on 10-12-2012:

My nephew is gay, and I love him and treat him as I always have, but my husband posted something anti-gay on Facebook and half the family isn't talking to us. It basically said that being a homosexual is a sin. I know that to follow Jesus means many will be against you, but I also want peace in the family. My best course is just to ignore the negative comments, and since our large family is spread throughout the U.S. it won't be so hard, but family weddings or even funerals may be uncomfortable or difficult. Any suggestions?

Answer by Catholic Answers on 10-15-2012:


Not having read what your husband wrote, in charity I can only assume that he was not making a personal attack on anyone and was only stating his opinion. If that is the case, then perhaps you might want to consider your husband's feelings and give them more importance than your extended family's feelings. You might also want to ponder what it says about the lack of tolerance of your family that they would stop speaking to you because of something your husband posted to his Facebook page. Basically, what they are doing sounds to me to be a form of bullying that uses emotional blackmail to suppress any opinion about homosexuality contrary to the "accepted norm."

The vocation of marriage calls you to loyalty to your husband (and him to loyalty to you). I can only recommend that the two of you seek to present a united front to your family and to your nephew, allowing them to think what they will about you and shrugging off unjust treatment toward you. Since you only see them at family weddings and funerals, then it shouldn't be difficult to smile and speak politely to them during the relatively brief and intermittent times you have to deal with them.

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers