We live in a very liberal/Protestant section of the country; thus, many friends are not Catholic. When someone we know dies, how does a Catholic pay respect? I am of the mind to send a Mass card, but not attend the services, as I have been upset in the past by what I had heard and observed at such services. What is a Catholic to do?

M.--

Attending Protestant services under such conditions is a personal choice, but keep in mind that mere attendance at a funeral does not constitute endorsement of the beliefs and practices of the church hosting the funeral. If the family would find comfort from your presence at the funeral, it might be better to swallow down your distaste and offer up your sufferance for the sake of the deceased person.

As for Mass cards, it is a good thing to have Mass offered for anyone who has died, Catholic or not. But I can only recommend sending the Mass card if it would be welcomed by the family as an expression of sympathy. If it would instead cause annoyance because the family does not believe in the value of Mass for the deceased, then just have the Mass offered and don't mention it to the family.

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers

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