My daughter and her fiance (both Catholic, first marriage for both, no impediments) are planning a beach wedding in Jamaica. I've consulted my pastor and he confirmed what I suspected. I should not attend the marriage ceremony in Jamaica or the subsequent reception to be held in Cincinnati some time after the wedding.

At Christmas, my daughter, who is already aware of this, asked me if I could take her step-grandmother (who is Catholic) to the reception. I instinctively agreed to do so when my daughter asked me, but I am having second thoughts. Should I be taking the grandmother at all?

C.D.--

If you have decided that you cannot attend your daughter's marriage ceremony or reception for reasons of conscience, then you should have nothing to do with the arrangements, which would include ferrying around other relatives. Indeed, I'd say that the fact that your daughter knew your position and yet asked such a favor of you shows disregard for your feelings and your conscience, to an extent bordering on disrespect. Once she knew that you could not attend her wedding for reasons of conscience, she should not have troubled you further with her wedding arrangements.

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers

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