Father,

I began to live a very intense search of God since several years ago. I left many of my life-long sins, with God's help, some of which I was not even aware of but that God showed to me. I feel deeply sad for that and some times I feel desperate because they will never go away, like a scarf in my soul and that will heavily weight on my descendants as well. I trust in God's forgiveness and Mercy but I feel very frustrated every time I sin again. I feel now that life is not worth if I sin. I want to live my life only for God and only to God and want to sin no more, at all. We all were called to be holy, so it means that we can, by God's grace. I am frustrated of sining and sining again and again, even when I can feel the Lord's presence. Help me Father. God Bless you

I suspect what is happening is that you have developed your spiritual life and now recognize so much more than what you ever saw or understood before, including the presence and seriousness of sin. At the same time, Satan will continually try new tactics to trip you up, to include discouraging you about your progress by making you preoccupied with your sins, past and present. Read the Confessions of Saint Augustine. He was guilty of many mortal sins in his past but the message is: this is who I was, this is who I am. While he feels shame for his past, he does not let it drag him down or put up a barrier to grace and continued growth in the spiritual life.

God bless and forge ahead...

Father Echert

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