I converted to catholicism 10yrs ago. At that time, I had been married 6 years. My husband committed numerous infidielities and filed for divorce a few months ago. We have 3 children. I love being catholic but I am now struggling with the fact that now, i will be "labled" and will not be able to full participate in being catholic should I be lucky enough to remarry someone one day. My friend said she thought that, since i was not married in the catholic church, that my first marriage "didn't count anyway." That is not soemthing I want taught to my children either - that my marriage to their father "did not count." Nor do I want them to be taught that I am being punished for being divorced. I fought for many years to try and save my marriage because i have such strong beliefs against divorce. But i do not believe that God would have me stay in that emotionally abusive relationship with my children being influenced and guided as to how to be a spouse. I would like for someone to state specifically what the Catholic religion's stance is on all of this. I would love to stay in the catholic faith but i am really struggling with this. Thank you for your attention.

Dear RH,

The Church allows married couples to be separated. Well by divorcing you ha has separated himself from you. That is not your fault. An injustice has been done to you. But you can't remedy it by getting married against. Such a move would put you outside the Church. Sometimes a marriage can be annulled, which can happen if your marriage was not a marriage in the first place. The whole question is quite complicated. So make an appointment with a priest and learn about all the factors involved. But there is no doubt that you and the family have been deeply wounded.

Dr, Geraghty

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