TRAINING


THE FIRST YEARS

In his book "Something of Myself for My Friends Known and 
Unknown," Rudyard Kipling uses as the keynote for the first 
chapter, the following quotation: "Give me the first six years 
of a child's life; you can have the rest."

How parents ought to meditate on those words!

Why did Rudyard Kipling speak in this vein?

Before these first six years there is of course the question of 
heredity. Every man is an heir and every man is an ancestor. 
Children do resemble their parents. We have considered this 
before.

There is a second kind of hereditary influence--the formation 
that is given even before marriage by the father and the 
mother. "When does the education of the child begin?" 
Napoleon was asked. He replied, "Twenty years before its 
birth in the education of its mother."

From its mother? From its father too. But the mother is 
unquestionably a prime influence since until the child is at 
least six the principal care of the child is in the hands of the 
mother.

What a mistake to let a child give in to all its whims!

"But he doesn't understand," people say. "You can't reason 
with a baby in the cradle."

No, of course not, but from the cradle on, the child can be 
taught many things well. Not by reasoning but by habit-
formation.

Here are two mothers; both of them have a baby. Naturally 
both babies cry when they want their desires known. In one 
case, the mother who knows that all the needs and legitimate 
wants of the baby have been satisfied, lets it cry; it should 
like to advance if it could, the time for its bottle. No, it will be 
served at the right time, not before. The little one soon 
perceives that no one pays any attention to its demands and 
ceases its tempestuous howling.

In the other case, the minute the baby begins to cry, the 
mother dashes to soothe it. She cannot resist her baby's cry. 
Instead of rearing it for itself, she rears it for herself, because 
she suffers too much from hearing it call or because its tears 
unnerve and disturb her. She gives in. She is lost. The little 
one is going to become frightfully capricious. Later she will 
not be able to control it. "Cry away my little man; you don't 
need a thing," would be a more wholesome attitude than 
yielding, provided of course, she knows that the baby is all 
right and that her conduct is not motivated by laziness but 
by a true desire to train the child.

That is only one detail. But in everything she should be 
guided by the same principle--the true good of the child. 
Then at six years it will know how to obey. And if the mother 
follows through progressively with the development of the 
child, helping it to use proper]y its young liberty, she has the 
game in her own hands. All is not finished. It might be more 
correct to say that all is beginning; nevertheless the mother 
has successfully come through a vital stage. Up to this point 
it is properly called training, a most necessary period indeed. 
This training will develop into real education. If the early 
training has been lacking, the succeeding education becomes 
almost impossible; for how can one erect a stable structure 
on a volcano; how build a firm will on a nature perpetually 
wavering and swayed by caprice?

Kipling was right. In the light of the truth he expressed let me 
correct, if necessary and if there is still time, my method of 
acting.


LOVE FOR CHILDREN

IT IS essential to love children enough:

1. To be willing to have them

2. To be able to endure their demands

3. To be able to supernaturalize one's love for them.

1. To be willing to have them: I meditated on this point when I 
considered the law of fecundity and charity in marriage.

2. To be able to endure their demands: Very little children 
have no defense and no power. Someone must always come to 
their assistance. Happy those who can guess these needs of 
theirs. Mothers generally know the secret of that. But just the 
same the baby will cry, become restless and set up a howl. 
Every baby in the cradle is a revolutionary in the bud; the 
best established customs ought to give way to its caprice, or 
so it thinks, and if its desires are not obeyed, it storms and 
puts the house in an uproar.

Furthermore the child is born cunning. It finds out very 
quickly the best ways to get what it wants, not through 
reasoning but by intuition. Such an action, such an attitude 
produces the desired result; the opposite way of acting does 
not work. There is no more limpid logic to be found 
anywhere.

Nor any more transparent pride. It knows itself to be the 
center of the household and is not ashamed to act the part. It 
is a monarch. Papa and mamma, brothers, sisters, and all the 
other members of the household make up its court, each one 
dancing attendance to its thirty-six wills. Furthermore, it 
distributes as rewards the favor of its broad smiles.

Later it will have to play, jump about and run; to break things 
will be a delight; so too will it be fun just to sit still and listen 
to a story. The little girl will be taken up with the care of her 
doll and if her elders have bought her a doll that says papa, 
mamma, they need expect to hear nothing else all day! The 
little boy will play soldier or train or if he has received a 
drum or whistle for Christmas, the household will be well 
aware of it!

Parents should take serenely and as a matter of course the 
baby's pranks and outbursts, working at the same time 
toward a wise training, the prelude of a wise education. They 
should expect their growing children to make noise, to be 
curious, to want to touch everything; furthermore, they need 
not feel obliged constantly, to put a damper on their romping 
and their noise; whenever and wherever it is necessary they 
ought to explain to the children what they may do and what 
they ought to avoid.

3. To be able to supernaturalize one's love for them: Parents 
should strive to love their children not only because of their 
natural charm but for higher and truly divine reasons. "I love 
my children so much," parents say as if they were vying with 
one another; mothers especially are likely to talk like that. It 
makes one want to warn them, "If only you could love them a 
little less but love them a little better." Or rather, since we 
never love too much but badly, "Love them as much as you 
wish but for their sakes, not for your own."

For their sakes: Therefore do not give in to all their caprices; 
do not try to spare them every effort; do not treat them as 
little idols; do not teach them pride and vanity even from 
their earliest years.

For their sakes: Therefore be alert to know what might harm 
them not only in what concerns their body but also in what 
might even remotely concern their soul.

For their sakes: Therefore, try to discover behind the human 
silhouette of each of these baptized souls the Holy Trinity 
dwelling within them and the likeness of Christ; do not rest 
satisfied until all your training and education is directed to 
make of them truly holy tabernacles of the Most High and 
authentic continuations of Christ.


FROM THREE TO FIVE

AT THIS period of their life, children have not in general 
arrived at an awakening, at least not a complete awakening, 
of their moral sense. They are midway between the 
unawareness of their first years and a completely rational 
contact with life; their principal occupation is play--the little 
boy will be busy building and tearing down; the little girl will 
be busy scribbling away at indefinite designs or dressing and 
undressing her sawdust doll, the first in a series of many 
dolls.

They will have just the beginning of a contact--depending 
upon their family, their mother particularly--with the 
invisible world. They will learn their prayers, know that there 
is a God who is good and they will hear about little Jesus. 
They will also know that there are things that are forbidden, 
but they will not as yet see the wickedness of sin; they take 
what belongs to mamma without knowing that they are 
stealing; they do not always tell the truth without knowing 
really that it is an evil thing to lie and when they do speak 
untruly it is much more through an instinct of self-defense 
than through innate perversion. They would go to the end of 
the world for a kiss and much further still for a piece of 
candy. But if they must give up the piece of candy to a little 
brother or sister, they will do it with not too bad a grace but 
they will see to it that they get a lick of it themselves before 
parting with it; after all, aren't they being quite generous 
already? And if for Christmas mother has suggested that they 
sacrifice some of their sweets to little Jesus, they do it 
eagerly but see nothing wrong with coming back quietly later 
to eat up their sacrifices.

It is important to capitalize on this marvelous period of the 
child's life.

Since the child loves to imagine, it is necessary to suggest 
images to its mind and since the child needs to be educated, 
these images should be elevating. That can be done very 
early by using the lives of the saints, the life of Mary and of 
Jesus. Why not? How many details of Scripture are most 
picturesque and quite within the grasp of the child's mind; 
this is especially true if the Gospel episodes have first come 
by way of the mother's heart; she will know how to awaken 
without straining, instruct without fatiguing, and adapt it all 
to the mentality of the child.

A prime guiding principle here is Never anything inexact! 
Children at this age are extremely docile. "Papa said it or 
Mamma said it," makes it sacred. Therefore, great attention to 
the stories they are told, to the allusions made or the 
conversations held in their presence.

At this age the child is inclined to refer everything to itself, 
but very likely to be disinterested in goodness. By nature it is 
selfish; it has a terrific sense of ownership; will share 
nothing; wants everything. Since it has numerous needs and 
knows itself to be little, it seeks to surround itself with the 
greatest possible number of things to its own advantage. But 
if little by little it is taught to look about to see that there are 
others less privileged, that to give up things for love of 
another is something fine, it will be found capable of 
remarkable generosity.

The child at this age has not since the time of its baptism 
become incrusted with the shell of negligence and the faults 
an adult might commit; simplicity is inherent in it; it is pure; 
it has infused Faith and the Holy Spirit in its soul is at ease.

But it is essential to avoid scandalizing the least of these 
little ones, giving them the example of evil, of impurity even 
material impurity, of lying, of anger.

Further, the child is readily distracted, forgetful, has its head 
in the clouds. You speak to it and it listens or does not listen 
as fancy strikes; it follows its own thought and interior 
emotion. Your commands fall on its ears like water on 
marble. You must catch its attention, reiterate your 
suggestions or commands without impatience on your part or 
fatigue for the child.

Constant attention is necessary to train them in manners, in 
proper sleeping habits, in conduct at table; to check the first 
symptoms of greediness, laziness, lack of discipline, 
sensuality. The child is still thoughtless but the educator 
must not be. Long explanations are not needed; a word, 
simple look go a long way and speak volumes at times.

Parents should never lose courage even if the results are 
imperfect. Let them examine their methods and change them 
if necessary. Let them see in these little ones only Christ--
"Whatsoever you do to these, the least of My brethren, you do 
unto Me."


THE ART OF GIVING CHILDREN FAULTS

THERE are two great means of developing faults in children: 
First by giving them a bad example; second, by spoiling 
them.

1. Giving them a bad example: All men are imitators; children 
are more exposed than others to the appeal of imitation; they 
love to imitate adults, and by preference those within their 
immediate circle particularly their parents who appear to 
them as exceptional beings in whom there is nothing 
reprehensible.

Is the mother vain? The daughter too will be vain; she will 
speak, act, dress, not for an ideal of beauty in keeping with 
her condition, her station, but for the favorable opinion of 
others. She will strive to surpass all her companions, her 
friends, by the cut of her clothes and the extremes of style; 
she will attach a considerable, yes even an exaggerated, 
importance to the tiniest details of her costume; she will 
suffer a severe attack of jealousy when she believes someone 
outshines her.

Is the father proud? Does he try to exaggerate his good points 
and belittle those of others or refuse to recognize them? His 
son will be a snob, disdainful of others, self-sufficient, 
pretentious, arrogant, obstinate and will manifest no 
understanding whatever as far as others are concerned.

Are the parents loquacious? Contentious? Sharp in their 
speech? Their children will be intemperate in speech, 
quarrelsome, envious.

Are the parents deceitful? The children are in danger of 
becoming liars. Are the parents generally indiscreet in 
conversation, passing judgments thoughtlessly? The children 
already too much inclined to judge everything from the 
height of their grandeur will pass snap judgments, unjust and 
untimely criticisms.

Do the parents manifest their love of ease, of wealth, even a 
thirst to acquire riches by any means? The children are likely 
to be selfish, attached to their own comfort, cheaters on 
occasion.

2. Spoiling them: Some parents are too harsh and do not 
encourage their children at all. Others, by far the greater 
number, are too indulgent, flatter their children, satisfy all 
their whims.

Parents who spoil their children do not seek their good, love 
them for their sakes. No, it is a form of self-love; the parents 
seek themselves in the child. Such parents cannot put 
firmness into the education they try to give; they cannot 
punish when necessary; prevent escapades; secure 
obedience; they cannot defend themselves against any 
caprices.

"But if I lack kindness," you say, "my child will withdraw from 
me; in difficult times he will avoid speaking to me; I shall not 
have his confidence. If on the contrary I have multiplied my 
kindnesses to him, he will remain open, I shall keep a hold on 
him."

There is no question here of failing in kindness; it is a 
question of forbidding oneself any weakness. Far from having 
to fear the loss of the child's confidence, if one is judiciously 
firm, the parents shall win the child's confidence because 
they are wisely strong. When the children understand that in 
the marks of affection their parents bestow on them they are 
not seeking something personal but only the good of their 
children, they will be quick to realize that in the severity 
their parents inflict on them, there is likewise no trace of 
caprice but only the desire for their good as before.

It is precisely that realization which has educative force--this 
contact with strong and detached souls.


THE UNTIMELY LAUGH

A FAMOUS French critic relates this incident about one of his 
colleagues. "He was only five years old and he had committed 
some misdemeanor. His mother who was busy painting put 
him outside her studio as a penance and closed the door to 
him. Through the closed door the little fellow using his most 
earnest and pleading tone begged for pardon promising not 
to be naughty again. His mother did not answer. He made so 
much ado that she opened the door and on his knees he 
crawled toward her, pleading with her as he came, in a voice 
so earnest and an attitude so pathetic that by the time he 
arrived before her, she could not refrain from laughing. 
Immediately he stood up and changed his tone, 'So,' he cried, 
'since you are making fun of me, I will never ask pardon 
again.' And he never did."

To appear amused at an act of generosity on the part of a 
child is the best way to make it lose forever a taste for 
generosity. Beyond a doubt, the mother was not laughing at 
the sentiment that stirred the soul of her child, but only at 
his heroics in expressing it. But the child could not 
distinguish. She laughed; therefore she laughed at him; if she 
laughed at him, he must have seemed ridiculous; never again 
would be put himself in a ridiculous attitude. His little 
conscience is geometrical. His reasoning is utterly simple but 
it is in keeping with his age.

Can anyone ever measure how much a poor child who has 
done wrong has to overcome himself in order to ask pardon? 
He blunders and then what happens? Can't you see? He is 
wounded by the pain he gave his parents, tortured perhaps by 
remorse, frightened by the prospect of punishment. His 
request for pardon is expressed in sobs and long drawn out 
breaths. But he is truly sorry. Born actor that he is, it is 
possible that he might deliberately exaggerate the outward 
manifestation of his repentence, but is it true? Most often the 
child is honest and except where there is direct proof to the 
contrary, his action is sincere, expressing exactly what he 
feels.

How disconcerted he is then when his repentence is met in a 
way he so little expected and so misunderstood. Sometimes 
the child merely wants to confide a secret or in his simplicity 
he asks a question without realizing its import or he 
expresses an enthusiasm he hopes to have shared or a desire 
to be generous that he longs to have approved, but if he sees 
that no one listens to him or that his elders appear to smile at 
his beautiful dreams or his requests for explanations, he 
learns to close up like a clam; no one will ever know anything 
more of his little soul; he will keep his thoughts secret and 
will try to find for himself the answers to the troubling 
questions that torment him.

There is another kind of ill-timed laugh, the laugh of parents 
or others at the morally bad actions of a child.

In considering the behavior of children, careful distinction 
must be made between two kinds of acts: those which have 
no moral import such as skinning their knees in a fall while 
running, soiling their clothing through inattention, turning 
over an inkbottle through clumsiness, and those which do 
have moral significance such as stealing, lying, disobedience 
and lack of respect.

It sometimes happens that people are extremely severe and 
make much ado over the acts in which no moral 
responsibility is involved, but they joke or laugh at words 
and acts that are morally wrong. Nothing so deforms the 
consciences of children. They learn to consider as serious 
acts those over which their elders have made a scene but 
which actually are not serious at all; to consider as 
insignificant those acts which made others smile but which 
are morally quite serious.

All this means that as a parent, as an educator, I must be 
watchful over my smiles and my laughter. I cannot be 
inopportune in their use.


LOVE VERSUS MATERNAL INSTINCT

A MOTHER of a family, herself a noble and spiritual educator 
wrote:

"We never succeed in making of our children all that we 
should like to make of them; and sometimes we do not 
accomplish anything of what we thought we could 
accomplish. The role of educator in theory offers many 
charms but in its fulfillment how many thorns! Not to become 
discouraged is in itself quite an achievement."

The most important virtue to engender in the souls of 
children is confidence.

Children always have faults; they develop with age; when one 
fault is destroyed, another appears. What ought to be 
developed first is confidence; a confidence which will make 
them docile solely because of the conviction that there can 
be nothing better for them than the arrangements of the 
persons who are training them; but when they seem to 
torment them or cross them, they truly have their good at 
heart. The most agreeable training is not always the most 
salutary. Far from it! Adversity and contradiction are useful 
for all ages but particularly for the young, to correct their 
violent tendencies and strengthen their undeveloped wills. 
For those who consider everything from God's viewpoint, 
adversity gives the final touch; it adorns as with gold one in 
whom virtue is deeply rooted. But how can one call upon this 
harsh instructor to teach one's very own children? Mothers 
are too tender to be perfect educators or rather their 
tenderness has about it too much sensitivity which, we might 
say, aggravates the eternal conflict between the spiritual man 
and the carnal man. Maternal love is often too much 
hampered by maternal instinct which protests and prevents 
the forceful action that ought to be taken.

This distinction between real maternal love in the full sense 
of the word and maternal instinct should be maintained; the 
author of the preceding lines is alert to the difference and 
concerned about not confusing them; one of her daughters 
had a particularly difficult temperament; the mother 
encouraged herself to exercise the necessary firmness with 
her just as with her other children:

I shall set myself the duty of not being weak, too easy, of not 
giving in to all their desires. I shall try to give them the 
reason for my decisions, but I shall believe that I do them a 
service by putting some obstacles to their desires. Kindness 
will dictate my conduct; I hope that kindness will render it 
bearable for them.

If I fear the opposition of a strong character and the 
tendencies of a spirit which promises to be frank and curious 
in Laurence, I fear in her sister the faults arising from an 
easier temperament which is avid for praise. Will she be able 
to hold her own with the firmness I should like to see her 
acquire? My God, I cannot foresee that; I place her interests 
as I place my own into Your Hands.

That is the way to act: To try to adopt toward each child the 
method most likely to succeed, and when that is done, to 
trust the rest to Divine Providence.


TRAINING IN OBEDIENCE

THE father is the father; the mother is the mother. Each one's 
role is different; together they must harmonize.

This is particularly essential when there is question of the 
exercise of authority over the children.

The principal authority is centered in the father; the mother 
who is associated with him, shares this authority. Both have 
therefore according to their respective roles the mission to 
command; the father in a way that is not more harsh but more 
virile; the mother in a way that is not more easy-going--she 
ought to demand the same things the father requires and with 
the same firmness--but more gently expressed.

Parental action must be common, harmonious, coordinated, 
directed to the same end. Extremely unpleasant conditions 
are created if the mother for example tolerates an infraction 
of an order given by the father.

The father on his part should avoid too great sternness, an 
uncalled-for severity of tone or what is worse, cruelty. The 
mother should guard against weakness and insufficient 
resistance to the tears of the child or the cute little ways it 
has discovered for avoiding punishment or side-tracking a 
command.

She ought to be particularly cautious not to undermine 
paternal authority either by permitting the children to 
disobey his injunctions or, under pretext of tempering the 
father's severity, by countermanding his orders. It is from the 
father himself that she should secure the necessary 
relaxation of requirements if she feels he is being too rigid; 
never should she on her own change a decision that the 
father has given. Otherwise the children will soon play the 
father and mother against each other; they will know that 
they can have recourse to mamma when papa commands 
something and they will be able to disregard the order. Father 
and mother both lose their authority in this way to their own 
great detriment. The wife discredits her husband in the eyes 
of the children and herself as well. Never should the children 
sense the least discord between their parents either in regard 
to their principles or their methods of training. Quick to 
exploit the rift, they will also be quick to get the upper hand. 
It is the ruination of obedience. The mother can blame 
herself for working forcefully for its destruction.

She is perfectly justified in trying to make the execution of 
the father's orders more agreeable; that is quite another 
thing. But in this case she must justify the conduct of the 
father and not seem to blame him by softening the verdict.

Husband and wife are but one; he, the strength; she, the 
gentleness. The result is not an opposition of forces but a 
conjoining of forces; the formation of a single collective 
being, the couple.

Another point in this matter of obedience: Never let the 
children command the parents. How many parents, mothers 
especially, betray their mission! Parents are not supposed to 
give orders indiscriminately but wisely; when they have done 
this, they should not go back on a command. To command 
little is the mark of firm authority; but to demand the 
execution of what one has commanded is the mark of a strong 
authority.

There should be no fussiness, no irritation, only calm 
firmness. The child, who becomes unnerved, and certainly 
not without cause, before a multiplicity of disconnected 
orders that fall upon him from all sides, submits before a 
gentle and unbending authority. Calmness steadies him and 
unyielding firmness unfailingly leads him to obey.


CHILDREN WHO COMMAND

IF THE training of the children from babyhood has been well 
done, there is the happy possibility that the parents can 
really be masters in their own home later on. Not that they 
need to exercise a fierce militarism; they should rather 
inspire a holy and joyous liberty; but when they give a 
command, the children must know that there is nothing for 
them to do but obey.

They will give few commands, avoiding such perpetual 
admonitions as "Stand up straight! Don't slouch! Do this. 
Don't do that," which irritate children to a supreme degree, 
weaken authority, and in time nullify the effect of any effort 
to command. In the whirlwind of commands and prohibitions 
in which they are caught, children can no longer distinguish 
between important issues and details. Not having the 
strength to observe all the directions they receive, they 
decide quite practically to observe none except when a 
painful punishment impresses them with the need to obey.

Although the parents should give few commands, they must 
abide by what they have commanded and see it through. If 
children note that it is easy for them to wear out the patience 
of those who issue commands or prohibitions, and that 
sooner or later they will have the victory, they will 
unconsciously or even through a perversity that will always 
increase, set about to manoeuvre more and more triumphs for 
themselves.

"Leave that door handle alone!" Fine. The child hears the 
command. A second later he is at the handle again. Again he 
is told to leave it alone. The child resigns himself and for 
some time does not go near the door. Will he make a third 
attempt? Why not? After the second injunction mamma 
generally says no more. As a matter of fact, he renews his 
disobedience. Mamma lets it pass. She is conquered.

She will be conquered forever.

That is just one example of ten thousand where training falls 
short.

But when children know that what is said goes, the temptation 
to defy a command does not so readily come to them; or if 
should it come and they yield, they know their parents will 
not let their disobedience pass and that they will pay the 
penalty; they know too that the punishment will be in 
proportion to the offense, neither too little or too much but 
exactly proportionate; they take it for granted.

Away with all fussiness however! Let children exercise some 
initiative. How many parents forget that they were once 
young and as a consequence what it means to be young.

In his book "My Children and I," Jerome criticizes in a 
humorous fashion the exaggerated notions of some parents 
who do not want to recognize the power for frankness in boys 
and girls of twelve, fourteen or sixteen years. Veronica, one 
of the young daughters of the home, finding that the 
discipline of the house was too rigid protested with the 
comment, "If grown-ups would be willing to listen, there are 
many things we could explain to them."

She decided to write a book in which she would give parents 
some wise advice. "All children will buy it," she said, "as a 
birthday gift for their father and mother."

Veronica was doubtless somewhat presumptuous but not 
stupid. People can learn at any age.

Even from their children.

Even when their youthful lessons are developed from 
impertinence.

It is better, of course, not to need their lessons.


TRAINING IN DOCILITY

MANY parents complain that they can no longer get their 
children to obey.

Is it the fault of the children? Is it not rather the fault of the 
parents? A failure in obedience because of a failure in 
authority?

To command requires as much abnegation as to obey. If a 
person commands to satisfy his need of imposing himself on 
others, to satisfy his vanity, to prove his power to himself, he 
has missed the purpose of authority. Authority does not exist 
for itself but for the good of subordinates.

Parents can go to the other extreme and let their children to 
their whims and fancies in order to escape imposing any 
inconvenience upon themselves, allowing everything to pass 
and even refusing to forbid what they should forbid. That too 
is a failure in their mission. To have authority is to have the 
obligation to exercise it--according to the circumstances and 
without exaggeration certainly--but it must be exercised and 
not held in abeyance; that would be a betrayal of a trust.

Authority is to be exercised; to be exercised within the limits 
of its control; that is its function. If through laziness or poor 
judgment authority is not exercised or is badly exercised, 
how can we be astonished that obedience is lost?

Authority supposes a soul at peace, a courageous soul, 
dominated by a sense of duty, devoted to the interests of the 
subject, free of capricious impulses and that sentimental 
concept of love which is often found in mothers who confuse 
tenderness with idolatry.

Parents and educators must arm themselves with courage to 
dare to take a stand against the caprices of their child. They 
must have keen judgment to know in which instances they 
should command or refrain from commanding, to be able to 
adapt the order to the capacity of the subjects, to be able to 
understand the subjects' desires and satisfy them, to oppose 
their whims, their impetuous desires and disordered 
impulses.

In all this there must not be the shadow of oppression. 
Parents should realize the children's need for distractions, 
activity, learning, and loving. They ought to satisfy them in 
everything that is legitimate. That will provide a generous 
principle by which they can refuse them what is not 
legitimate. In everything the parents should act with a 
balanced mixture of gentleness and firmness.

Certainly they should not govern their children in a way that 
suppresses their initiative. Their problem is not to develop 
paragons of perfection, children who are exteriorly docile but 
docile through passivity.

Parents should as often as possible insist that their children 
make their own decisions, assume their little or great 
responsibilities; but at the same time supervise and watch 
over them unobtrusively; be ready to help them if need be 
when they hesitate or arrive at imprudent decisions.

This implies that the parents strive less to develop a 
satisfactory exterior behavior than to fashion in the child a 
conscience that is exact and clear in the knowledge of its 
duties; it is essential that when a child obeys he does so not 
because of external constraint but through obedience to the 
law of duty, to the inward law formulated in the depths of his 
soul by God Himself.

The formation of the child's conscience is therefore 
inseparable from his training in obedience. Let the child 
know that he must obey only because he must above all obey 
God; parents and educators are only the intermediaries of 
God in his regard. Punishments which must follow 
wrongdoing will never be for him the indication of his 
parents' excitability or moods but always and only the 
justification of a moral principle that has been violated.


INTELLIGENCE AND FIRMNESS IN A MOTHER

CAN the mothers who are real educators be counted by the 
hundreds? Many see what ought to be done but do not have 
the courage to require it or rather to impose it on themselves 
to see it through. Others again have sufficient firmness of 
character but lack keenness, insight, psychology.

Madame Marbeau whose son was to become bishop of Meaux 
possessed the rare balance of intelligence and firmness.

One of the brothers of the future bishop had been naughty 
and troublesome at school and was sent home by way of 
punishment. At home he was obliged to recount his escapade. 
The child was difficult and it was not his first offense. 
Madame Marbeau marched him up to his room, closed the 
door behind them, took a switch and ordered the boy to take 
off his coat and a few more things. "My child," she said, "you 
are dishonoring your name. I am going to whip you for it so 
that you won't forget it. It grieves me to do so. I have a heart 
ailment and could die of emotion . . . at least my death would 
remind you not to offend God."

When her children were old enough to be able to take 
responsibility, Madame Marbeau gave each of them a watch, 
accompanying her gift with the wish "May all the hours of 
your life to the very last, mark the good you do. May you 
never have to blush for one of them."

She encouraged the older ones to offer sacrifices to bring 
blessings on their future home, "Offer that up for the one 
whom you will marry."

A mother ought to be willing to make her child shed tears if 
that is the only way to instill a lesson which other means 
have failed to inculcate.

Surely, the whole art of educating does not consist in the art 
of being severe; some parents are too stern and they create a 
depressing and disheartening atmosphere in the home; that is 
the other extreme of indulgence. Exaggerated repression and 
excessive weakness are both harmful. The one who must be 
most watchful against excessive weakness is the mother, to 
whom is attributed the quality of kindness as an almost 
natural instinct and whose whole vocation is bound up in 
kindness. In their early days the children will be tramping all 
over her feet, but when they grow older they will trample on 
her heart.

The child should be encouraged to the complete 
accomplishment of his duty; nor should the parents take over 
to spare him the necessity of effort; they should rather 
stimulate him to furnish his own effort. He should be given a 
taste for fundamental honesty very early in life, the 
understanding that time is money advanced to us by God to 
enable us to purchase not only our eternity but the grandeur 
and beauty of our present life.

Then at the opportune time the child should be directed to 
consider his future. After making of his present home an 
invaluable training center, let the mother use the thought of 
the future home he will establish as an incentive to needful 
renunciation and self-denial. Should a son or daughter give 
indications of a special attraction to the virginal state in a 
consecrated life, with what care should the mother watch 
over them. What a grace for the family if their dreams should 
be realized! But such graces are bought! By the sacrifices of 
the children. By the sacrifices of the parents above all, but 
primarily of the mother.

These are not the only characteristics of a solid training but 
they are important characteristics. Let me examine myself on 
them. What judgment must I pass on myself?


PICTURE STUDY

MOTHER has gathered her little world around the table. She 
has chosen a supply of beautiful pictures; there are all sorts 
of them.

"Now suppose everyone keeps still. Look well at these 
pictures and make your choice without telling it . . . Then in a 
few minutes you may each tell me in your turn which one you 
prefer. If you explain well why you prefer it you may have it 
to keep for yourself. All right, let's start. Is everyone here? 
Take time to think carefully. When you have all made your 
choice we shall begin to speak."

Soon little hands were busy fingering the pictures; indecision 
was evident on the children's faces. Finally their choices 
seemed to be settled.

"Very well, Peter, you begin."

Peter had been attracted by a troop of soldiers marching 
behind the red, white and blue:

"Because it has the flag of my country," he said.

What a beautiful lesson to develop, the lesson of patriotism, a 
lesson in humanity. Why should we love the world; why too 
should we prefer our own country? We should prefer it to the 
point of defending it if it is unjustly attacked. What is a just 
war, an unjust war? Is it sometimes permissible to kill? What 
is the duty of the leaders in war? Why should we salute the 
flag?

And all listen to the simple lesson so marvelously and 
expertly explained drawing great profit from it. A true course 
it is in philosophy, civics, international ethics, and will-
training.

Little Louise decided on a picture of a beautiful baby by 
Reynolds, a pink, chubby baby with curly hair. She gives her 
reason in a tone of voice that reveals her budding maternal 
instinct, "I want it because it looks like my little brother."

And Mother seizes her opportunity to explain the mother's 
role, her joys, her difficulties, her responsibilities.

Jeanne, a robust girl, not blessed with much imagination 
shows great admiration for a very ordinary postcard 
representing two children in the country, standing before a 
rustic home at an outdoor fireplace roasting potatoes and 
chestnuts . . . She chose it because "it shows what we do on 
vacation when we have no more homework to do."

This brings forth a little homily on energy at work, coupled 
with praise for the honesty of the child; the motive of choice 
alone is blamed as indicative of no great zeal for study.

Paul, whose stuffed pockets seem to contain a whole 
workshop--string, broken springs, rubber bands and other 
odds and ends has been waiting a long time to explain his 
choice: "I like this airplane which is going to take off; see the 
pilot has put on his cap; he is going to take two passengers. I 
want to be a pilot when I get big . . ."

How many correct ideas to develop, enlarge and enrich; how 
many inferior sentiments to uplift; how many social 
principles to instill according to the capacity of these little 
minds and consciences so newly formed; how many futures 
to map out and how many vistas to open up.

There is nothing austere or forbidding here. It is life 
presented in beautiful simplicity. All the mother's 
explanations are within the children's grasp, but how richly 
instructive and informative! They had so much fun. And they 
learned so much.


IMPARTIALITY

ONE great principle of education that is of prime importance 
is that there must not be two systems of weights and two 
systems of measures in the family; it is necessary to treat all 
the children impartially.

The celebrated Carmelite, Mary of Agreda, whom Phillip IV of 
Spain did not hesitate to take as his confidante and advisor in 
matters of state and the government of men because of her 
spiritual insight and virtue, wrote the following advice to him 
on October 13, 1643 after she realized, either through 
spiritual lights or human reports, that he was inclined to 
yield to the ascendancy of a certain individual in his court:

"It would be better to put all (your counsellors) on the same 
level by listening to all of them so that each one believes 
himself to be your favorite without Your Majesty's according 
more to one than to the other. Thus God has placed the heart 
in the center of the body that it may vivify and stimulate all 
the members equally; the same sun lights us all without any 
distinctions."

This rule which Mary of Agreda gave Phillip IV for the 
government of Spain is very valuable within the family.

One or other of the children must not get the idea he is 
preferred; he will be tempted to abuse the situation. Above 
all, the other children must have no cause to believe that one 
of the members of the family is the object of special 
predilection.

All ought to believe that they are, each of them individually, 
the privileged one; and that because actually and not as a 
pretense the father and mother make no distinctions of 
person but give to all their maximum love.

If any exception must be made let it be for that one who is 
least gifted, the most sickly, who has the least defense. In 
such a case only will the other children pardon partiality.

Generally, however, such advice need not be given to 
mothers. As Bishop Dupanloup explains, maternal love is so 
wide and deep that there is in it an innate and magnificent 
contradiction.

If her child is beautiful, richly endowed, how the mother 
cherishes it! If on the contrary, her child is puny, deformed 
by nature, she has treasures of affection for it such as she 
has for no other.

Here is the beautiful passage. It is taken from a volume which 
has not gone out of date; how many married people and 
parents could profit greatly by reading it and meditating on 
it: The name of the book is "Letters of Direction on Christian 
Life" and the particular sections referred to now are the 
passages on Marriage, Motherhood and Conjugal Fidelity:

"Maternal love possesses two contrary impulses which are 
characteristic of it. We could not measure either of them, nor 
could we pass them by in silence.

The mother loves her fortunate child, the handsome child, 
the prosperous child, for its happiness, its beauty, its 
prosperity; there is in this a just pride which belongs to 
maternal love and does not sully it. At the same time, the 
mother loves her child who suffers, who is listless, who is 
deformed because of its suffering, its languor, its deformity; 
and her love goes to terrifying extremes.

One must see a mother looking at her infirm and deformed 
child . . . It is as if she wants to fill up all the voids of that 
being, that she wants to enclose it within herself so that 
curious and unkind looks cannot reach it.

If she has a wayward child, it is this one she loves in spite of 
herself; if she has a sick child, it is toward that one she 
directs all her concern, and on the contrary should her child 
be a hero . . . how happy she is!


DIFFICULTIES OF CHRISTIAN EDUCATION

IN ORDER to make a true Christian of a child, four difficulties 
must be conquered:

1. The child himself.--He is light-minded, superficial, 
completely exterior. The invisible world seems unreal to him. 
Doubtless, the infused faith received at baptism gives him a 
kind of aptitude for perceiving divine realities; and the 
educator will not fail to utilize and develop this aptitude. It 
still remains true that the child for whom the world of images 
alone has value is in grave danger of progressively losing 
interest in the Kingdom of God to give more and more 
attention to what Our Lord calls all these other things.

Furthermore, he is on the threshold of life and that life is the 
present life; he feels strong; death is far away. His very 
existence appears to him as something almost eternal. He 
dreams of marriage, thinks of a career and is immersed in 
distractions. He thinks very little about his soul if he thinks 
of it at all.

2. The family circle.--The family encircles the child with a 
certain general atmosphere of ease, of comfort, of 
forgetfulness of the essential. The practice of Christianity 
within the family may be very weak; there may be a complete 
absence of good example. An exaggerated liberty in regard to 
reading may prevail; the newspapers and magazines brought 
into the family are perhaps most unchristian, utterly pagan in 
tone. And as for the religious observance of Sunday, it is 
reduced to a minimum and that minimum is merely routine. 
True piety is definitely lacking; so too is any semblance of 
regularity in rising and retiring; a shameless preoccupation 
with frivolities crowds out everything else. The development 
of a spirit of sacrifice and the formation of a religious spirit 
receives scarcely any attention.

3. Schools.--Let us consider only those schools in which 
religion is recognized. To whom is the religious instruction 
confided? How well is education to the supernatural 
safeguarded? Even in institutions where exercises of piety are 
held in esteem, is sufficient effort made to combat routine, to 
avoid blind imitation and to vivify religious practices? Is 
sufficient care taken to explain doctrine thoroughly? Is not a 
great deal of precious time lost in problems of apologetics 
while the children have very little acquaintance with the 
substantial realities of the deposit of faith? Is the teaching of 
Catechism carefully centered about the dogma of Grace and 
of Incorporation in Christ? Are the truths of faith made to live 
by being presented in relation to modern life, adapted to the 
needs of the young people and the needs of the time?

4. The general easygoing attitude of society.--Father Gratry 
used to say that young people had difficulty escaping the two 
trials that their social environment imposes--the trial of fire 
and the trial of light.

--The trial of fire. By that Father Gratry meant the test of 
pleasure, the test of the senses. The great means of 
information are sometimes transformed into means of 
corruption. Reading, unbridled freedom, certain types of 
amusement finish the destruction. The world ridicules the 
chaste; materialism at times gross, at times refined, threatens 
to penetrate all of life especially now that the constraints of 
the war have been lifted.

--The test of light. This, Father Gratry explains, is contact 
with pagan mentalities, with philosophies of scepticism and 
agnosticism as noisy as they are baseless but none the less 
alluring in an age of independence and awakening passions.

All these conditions point to the importance of a virile 
training of the individual from childhood; the need of a 
healthy and uplifting family life; the value of a solid 
intellectual formation that is thoroughly Christian; the 
necessity of a purification of the general atmosphere.

The children of today have been compared to "an invasion of 
little barbarians." We must civilize these barbarians if we 
want to prevent the arrival of barbarism or a return to 
barbarism.


SUPERNATURAL MOTHERS

CHESTERTON expressed himself as well satisfied that 
education is entirely confided to women until that time when 
to educate becomes entirely useless--for, "a child is not sent 
to school to be instructed until it is too late to teach him 
anything."

In other words, education depends on the training given 
during baby days and early childhood and such training is 
the concern of women. That is a certain fact. It is also a 
serious fact. Because at once there arises the problem: Are all 
mothers charged with educating their children capable of it?

Some women excel in child-training. And often they are 
equally successful in handling their children once they are 
grown.

How solicitously these mothers watch over their children 
even in their babyhood not only in concern for their bodily 
good but for their soul as well, warding off from them 
whatever could be a source of trouble later. With what love of 
God they profit by their babies' first glimmerings of reason to 
teach them how to fold their hands in prayer and lift their 
hearts to God. How zealously they prepare them for their First 
Holy Communion, speaking to them of the marvels of the 
Eucharist, encouraging them to generosity and love of Jesus 
Crucified.

Without any thought of self, but with joyful and supernatural 
austerity, they teach their children to make sacrifices, to 
think of others; with what divinely inspired skill they show 
them the immense needs of the world, make them think of 
little pagan children who have no Christian mother or father 
or brothers or sisters who have been baptized.

"Children are serious-minded, and to keep a childlike soul 
means precisely to continue to look at life with a serious 
attitude," says Joergensen. Mothers with a supernatural spirit, 
whether they have read Joergensen or not, seem to use this 
idea as a guiding principle and by it help their children to 
preserve while growing up, the juvenile depth of their serious 
outlook on life.

Even when their children are grown, how they help them to 
develop this serious attitude and protect them from losing it 
or submerging it in an atmosphere of worldliness and 
frivolity! How earnestly they try to give their children true 
Christianity grounded much more in love than in fear; they 
do not constantly terrify them with the idea of sin; they lead 
them even more by example than by word, to look upon God 
as a God of mercy and not as a sort of "super-parent who is 
always dissatisfied, severe, angry, ready to forbid and to 
punish."

Living a life of divine familiarity themselves, these mothers 
have learned the great mystery of "God nearby," of God 
residing in the depths of the soul in grace, a God whose 
dearest wish is to draw us into closer intimacy with Himself.

It has been said that "there are two ways of giving the 
consciences of children an intense sense of the privation of 
God"; either by default, by never putting them in His 
presence; or by excess, by putting them in His presence in 
such a way that He becomes a nightmare to them from which 
they flee as soon as they realize that the whirl of life helps 
them not to think of Him."

Supernatural-minded mothers would never fail in the second 
way. If their grown boys and girls remain in the state of 
grace, it is through a holy pride, an interior joy, the result of 
having been impregnated early in life with the conviction of 
God's nearness, with the determination to remain forever 
living tabernacles of the Trinity, other Christs.

Honor to these mothers, true educators!


EDUCATION TO THE SUPERNATURAL (1)

THIS does not mean education to piety. In Christian families 
this is properly provided for: The children are taught their 
prayers, how to go to Confession, how to prepare for Holy 
Communion, how to assist at Holy Mass and other church 
services, how to say the rosary. All this is fine, but perhaps it 
is not the essential!

The important thing is to teach the child who he is, who God 
is, and how God wants to mingle His life with his by coming 
to dwell in him. consecrating him thereby as a living 
tabernacle of the Most High. When the child knows all this 
not merely as bookish knowledge but as knowledge lived out 
and often recalled, exercised by his faith and his young good 
will, then and then only, will there be a solid foundation on 
which to build religious instruction, to justify and demand 
exercises of piety. It is absolutely essential that before all 
else the child be informed of the divine riches which his 
baptism brought him. It must be explained to him that the 
day he was carried as a little baby to be received into the 
Church, God came to take possession of his soul.

He should be taught that when people come into the world 
they do not possess this divine life. God gave it to Adam and 
Eve in the beginning but they lost it. Right here is a splendid 
opportunity to explain the greatness and goodness of God, 
the marvel of our supernatural life, how God created man 
greater than nature, how He wanted to make all of us His 
children. The little one knows well what a father is. Explain to 
him that God is our Father in order to give him what is 
essential in all true piety, a filial spirit and an understanding 
of how true it is to call God, Good.

The story of creation fascinates children; so too does the 
story of Adam and Eve and the Fall. What a lesson for the 
child is the example of the terrible punishment incurred by 
disobedience! . . . The divine life is lost! But God still loves 
His poor human creatures just as mamma and papa continue 
to love their child after he has done wrong. And what is God 
going to do to give back this lost supernatural life? When one 
commits a fault, he must make up for it to obtain pardon. 
Who can make up for such a fault? God asks His own Son to 
do it. His Son will come down to earth. And then follows the 
beautiful story of the Christmas Crib and the timely 
application of these truths: How we should pity those who do 
evil and if we can, help them get out of their misery, their 
bodily and spiritual wretchedness!

Not only will Jesus live upon earth with us but He will die for 
us after living more than thirty years over in a little country 
where we can find many souvenirs of His stay--the little town 
of His birth, the workshop of His foster-father, that noble 
carpenter named Joseph, the villages that heard Him preach 
to all, and especially to children, on how to get to heaven, the 
place of His death upon the Cross, that place of suffering 
where Mary His Mother stood beneath His instrument of 
torture . . . All that, all that so that John, Paul, James, Henry, 
Peter, Louise, Camille, Leonie, Germaine may be even while 
they are still on earth, little--and yes very great--living 
tabernacles of God who is Goodness itself; so that later in 
heaven they may be with the God of their hearts forever.

Religious instruction is not sufficiently centered; it is not 
centered about the central mystery of Catholicism. Even the 
catechism with its divisions of Dogma, Morals and the 
Sacraments--divisions that are perfectly logical and 
understandable but more adapted to theological authors than 
to the souls of children--can, if we are not careful, make one 
forget the beautiful wholeness of Christianity which is 
superbly majestic in its architectural lines, clear, and pulsing 
with life.


EDUCATION TO THE SUPERNATURAL (2)

IT IS clear that everything centers about the dogma of grace 
and our supernatural elevation. The best way to develop this 
idea with the child is to use the technique of an object lesson 
and explain the rites and ceremonies of baptism to him. That 
will be a little drama in which he has been the hero, and 
consequently, it will hold tremendous interest for him. It is 
something about himself, it is his own story he hears; he will 
be delighted.

Describe the ceremonies graphically for the little one. As 
soon as feasible, take him to church. Before showing him the 
tabernacle, the Eucharistic dwelling, take him to the 
baptismal font: Here is where you became a living tabernacle 
of God. At the words of the priest, "Go out of this child, 
unclean spirit; give place to the Holy Spirit," the devil was 
forced to leave you, because of the power Our Lord gave to 
His priests. Then the Holy Spirit came to dwell in you. And 
since the Holy Spirit is one with the Father and the Son, God 
in His fulness came to dwell from then on in your heart--yes, 
there are three Persons, but there is just the same but one 
God; there are five fingers but they make only one hand--and 
that one God in all three Persons dwells in you.

God does not have to use an airplane like the one you saw 
landing from its flight the other day, but He does come down 
from heaven to dwell in your soul; He came into each of us, 
Papa, Mamma and in you, in Henry and James and Pauline, in 
Genevieve and little Louise. He comes on His own without 
anyone else sending Him and His coming is very real. Besides 
all this, His dwelling in all of us does not keep Him from 
continuing to dwell in heaven, too. He is all-powerful; it 
causes Him no difficulty to be at several places at once. If He 
who exercises His power everywhere, comes especially into 
the souls of the baptized, it is to dwell there in a dwelling of 
love. When your godmother or your grandfather come to 
spend a few years at your house, how happy you are! It is to 
give you pleasure that they come; and they bring with them 
goodies and lovely presents.... God does the same thing when 
He comes to stay in you--He brings presents with Him; we call 
these gifts graces; that means favors, gifts He is not obliged 
to give but which He gives just because He is so good. Good, 
did we say? Extraordinarily good! Much kinder than 
godmother or grandpa; kinder even than Papa or Mamma. He 
is the One who made the kindness and goodness of fathers 
and mothers and of all good people on the earth. Think how 
much greater is God's goodness since He possesses all this 
goodness put together and a great deal more besides!

But then if God is like that, how ought James and Joseph and 
Henry and Isabelle and Louise and Madeline behave 
themselves? Well, first of all, they should never do anything 
that would chase God from their souls; to do that is what we 
call mortal sin; mortal, because it forces God to leave just as 
if it killed Him. God cannot die, but it is just as if the person 
would say to Him, "I don't want anything more to do with You; 
if I could do away with You, I would do so!" That is why 
mortal sin is such a vile thing.

And it is not enough for you to keep from driving God out of 
your soul; no, there in the depths of your heart, you should 
try to keep Him company. Don't you think so? How sad that 
would be if He would be there within your soul and you would 
not pay any attention to Him, and seem to attach no 
importance at all to His Presence. That would not be very 
nice. You ought to visit Him there within your soul, in the 
morning, in the evening and often during the day; speak to 
Him; tell Him that you love Him very much. He who loves as a 
real Christian, a truly baptized soul, keeps God company 
since God is with him all the time.


EDUCATION TO THE SUPERNATURAL (3)

SINCE God is always present in the soul of the baptized 
person--provided that person has not driven Him away 
through mortal sin--with what respect should he treat not 
only his soul but also his body!

Mothers always dress their little ones in a beautiful white 
dress for their baptism. This is to show that later they ought 
never cover their souls with stains of sin. If muddy spots on 
lovely white material is ugly, how much uglier are sin stains 
on the soul!

That is also why the priest after bringing God into the soul of 
the tiny baby by saying as he pours the water, "I baptize thee 
in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy 
Spirit," hastens to add the injunction, "Receive this white 
garment and carry it undefiled to the Throne of God." The 
whiteness of the garment symbolizes the purity of the soul.

When we have to appear before God at the end of our lives, 
what will He ask us? "Have you been faithful? Have you 
always respected the beautiful virtue of purity? Or is your 
soul stained by sin? Have you committed sins? Mortal sins? 
At the moment death struck you down, did you have God in 
your heart or had you driven Him away as if you wanted 
nothing more to do with Him?

"You drove Him away? Ah, well, since that is how it is, I want 
no more to do with you: I too will drive you away, begone!"

It is just as a father might call before him his child who had 
insulted him or tried to kill him; he would say, "I no longer 
look upon you as my son. You are not worthy to remain in the 
house. Get out! I will never speak to you again, I will never 
love you again!"

How dreadful to be driven away by God because we tried to 
kill Him with sin in our soul; because we tried to drive Him 
away . . . to drive Him, God who is so good, from our heart!

We must indeed pray that such a thing never happens!

If we want to die without stain of sin upon our soul, we must 
live without staining our soul by such ugly defilements. Now 
since God dwells within our soul and since our soul is 
enclosed within our body, then we must also keep our body 
pure. We must never use it to commit sin. We should always 
look upon it as a kind of church in which God dwells. What 
would we say of naughty boys who would throw pebbles into 
the window of the parish church or mud from the street on 
the decorations or the altar inside? It would be an insult 
hurled at Jesus who stays there in the tabernacle so that we 
can go to Him to tell Him that we love Him and that we are 
happy to be with Him.

A little baptized child is like a church, but a living church. 
Jesus and the Child

How should we introduce Jesus into the life of the little one? 
Marie Fargues, a one-time educator, suggests the following 
psychological procedure: "You love Jesus very much, don't 
you?" the mother asks the little one in a tone of voice that 
calls forth a fervent "yes." Mamma must love Jesus to speak 
as she does. Therefore, Baby loves Him, too, and he wants to 
show it. He will clutch the picture of Jesus that the mother 
holds out to him, and kiss it with much ado. A statuette, a 
crucifix, a medal--these objects offer no direct interest to the 
child other than their polish or their color; mamma's face is 
certainly softer and more pleasing. But if one is to embrace, 
there must be something to embrace; and how can one show 
that one loves without embracing. That is the sole reason of 
existence for the statuette, the picture, or the medal of Christ 
as far as the baby is concerned. People don't embrace just 
anything, like papa's paper or the sugar bowl; these things 
have other uses. But the things that are connected with the 
Name of Jesus, these things one kisses for love of Jesus.

But Who is Jesus?

Who is Jesus? A baby does not ask that question. Jesus is a 
fact, like papa or mamma. And the little one is not in the least 
disturbed about giving the same name to quite different 
objects, a medal, a picture, or a crucifix. For, in the 
beginning, the picture, the medal, or the crucifix, is Jesus. It 
will take time for the little one to understand that these 
things are merely representations of Jesus.

Little by little, the child will begin to distinguish the person 
from the representation and will begin to build up a more 
correct concept: Jesus is at one and the same time, the One 
who is represented on the medal, the One who lives in the 
tabernacle, the One who is on the crucifix, the One who is on 
the picture, the One who lives in the church, and the One who 
is in mamma's heart after she goes to Holy Communion.

From then on, the clarification can be continued by helpful 
statements or questions: "Yes, Jesus is here," or "Jesus did 
that" or, if we are in church, "Where is Jesus?" At Christmas 
time when the little one pulls on mother's sleeve, insisting, "I 
want to go over and see little Jesus in the pretty crib," a 
splendid opportunity presents itself to explain the difference 
between the figure of Jesus in the crib and Jesus present in 
the tabernacle.

The transfer from the concept of Jesus to that of God is 
evidently a delicate step. The mother has told the child that 
God is everywhere, sees everything, but that He has no body. 
Now Jesus has a body. All that is not very clear to the child. 
Little by little, it will become so.

God is at one and the same time, the Father, Son and Holy 
Spirit. There is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy 
Ghost and they have existed from all eternity. It is the Son, 
however, who became Jesus when the Blessed Virgin gave 
Him a body, and He walked among men on earth.

Thus the little one through acquaintance with Jesus rises to 
knowledge of God. That God should have become man, is not 
at all astonishing to the child, and still less astonishing is it 
to him that Jesus had a mother.

Thus, bit by bit, things are seen in their proper relation. 
There cannot be complete clarity all at once. However, by 
means of successive bits of information, and above all by 
successive attempts at prayer, the little one enters into 
contact with Jesus; this contact is more of the heart than of 
the mind.

Historical and doctrinal ideas will be added later to complete 
the child's concept. Even at this early age he has become 
acquainted with the Triune God and the Incarnation. The 
cross, too, has been revealed to him. It is a delight for the 
child to hear the story of Jesus' life, and, in the retelling how 
many ideas can be given, how much curiosity satisfied, how 
many lessons taught!

Since Jesus loves children so much--and we know that He 
does from the gospel story of Jesus blessing the little ones--
since He has loved people so much and done so much for 
them, should not little John, or Lucy, or Alice, love Jesus, too, 
with all their heart; should they not learn from Him how to 
make a generous sacrifice when the opportunity presents 
itself?


THE FATHER WHO DOESN'T PRAY

LITTLE Paul who is only four-and-a-half years old, is kneeling 
beside his bed saying his night prayers; they seem to be very 
long.

"Haven't you finished your prayers?" asks his nurse.

"Yes," answers the child slightly embarrassed.

"Well, then, what are you doing now?"

The child blushes and murmurs timidly, "I say two of them 
every night--my own and papa's. I heard him refuse mamma 
when she asked him to say his prayers; so now I am doing it 
for him."

Precocious, would you say? Maybe so. But have children not 
often startled us with their penetration?

How foolish are those parents who believe they can fail in 
logic before their children! How little do they know of the 
workings of those little minds and those little hearts! How 
little do they know how these little ones can put to use what 
they hear!

Lady Baker, a convert, writes in her book "The House of Light" 
that when she was a child of about eleven years, she 
overheard a conversation between her father and her mother 
on the subject of religion. The father was saying, "I heard a 
good sermon today; it pointed out how the Reform was a great 
mistake and that England would have been much better off 
without it...."

"Be still," interrupted his wife in a scandalized tone, "be 
careful before the children."

"I was sent off to my studies," continues Lady Baker, "and I 
heard no more of the conversation; but I took to dreaming 
over these strange words."

That very evening while taking a walk with the maid, she 
asked to visit a Catholic church. From that date, she says, 
there was born in her the desire to study the beginnings of 
the pretended Reform and to change her religion later should 
this study prove that what her father had said was true.

It may be that I have not lost the habit of prayer, thanks to 
God's grace, but it could easily be that I do not let my 
children see me praying often enough. To pray, and to let 
one's children see that one prays, are two different things. It 
is not enough to pray as an individual only. My duty as head 
of the family is to pray in the name of the family, in the sight 
of the family, and with the family. My boys must know that 
their father honors God; they must see that he conducts 
himself respectfully before Him; they must learn from his 
example the great duty of adoration and worship. Prayer, at 
least evening prayer, should be said in common.

In many families where all gather together at the end of the 
day to honor God, it is the mother who leads the prayer until 
the time comes when each child will be able to take a turn. It 
would be much better if the father would take the lead. It is 
the function which belongs to him, a function which is almost 
priestly in character.

Should it ever happen that I have occasion to pass 
unfavorable judgment on a churchman, or on some religious 
incident--although it could seldom happen that such an 
action would be my right--I must take care as to who is 
listening. Children don't miss anything . . . let me give that 
some thought.


TABLE PRAYERS

A CELEBRATED economist, LePlay, wrote "Until I can say grace 
at meals without astonishing any of my guests, I will not 
believe that I have done enough for the return of good 
habits." Grace at meals seems to be a simple detail. Are we 
not perhaps attaching too much significance to it?

Consider it a detail, if you wish, but it is a detail which proves 
much. Rene Bazin relates how edified he was while visiting in 
the north of France as a preparatory study for one of his 
novels, to observe how the family of an industrialist, in 
Roubaix, had said grace faithfully before meals, assigning 
each child a day to lead.

Another author relates the profound impression made on him 
by his visit to the home of an outstanding businessman in 
Antwerp. Before and after dinner, the eight children stood 
with their parents around the table while the father devoutly 
recited the meal prayers.

Where the practice of saying grace is found in a family, there 
is also found true family life blessed with children and with 
solid piety; there will be no selfishness; instead there will be 
found a love for tradition, respect for authority, and an 
undisputed reign of Christ over the home. The saying of 
grace may be a small thing, but it is an indication of great 
things.

The Christian family will not be restored, nor will it be 
maintained, without the restoration and the maintenance of 
Christian practices--the noblest practices surely, and the 
most obligatory, but likewise the most insignificant in 
appearance. However, are there any which are truly 
insignificant?--

--But these things will embarrass our visitors.

--Nothing forces them to pay you a visit, and if they want to 
do it, they undoubtedly respect the customs of the house, the 
crucifix on the wall as well as the tint of the wall, the normal 
acts of Christian life as well as the menus prepared for them. 
No one is obliging them to adopt your conduct, but they can 
at least accept it while they are with you.

The real motive, if you are truly honest, is not charity for 
others, but human respect and a concern for yourself. You 
are afraid; you do not dare.

Your visitors will be either Christian or non-Christian. Why 
among Christians should one blush because of Christ? If the 
guests are not Christians, will they be astonished at Christian 
acts, knowing the atmosphere of the home and the character 
of those who dwell in it?

In addition to grace at meals, another beautiful Christian 
custom for the home is the evening blessing given by the 
father to all the children: As each child comes to give him a 
good-night kiss, the father lays his hand upon his head or 
traces a little cross upon his forehead. What an advantage for 
the children who see in their father a quasi-religious--as they 
really should be able to do. What an advantage for the father 
who will as a consequence be more conscious of his office. 
Imagine what his thoughts must be as he blesses his children 
in the evening if, during the day, he has done something for 
which his conscience reproaches him!

"We shall make our brethren Christians again," sing the Young 
Catholic Workers. "We shall make homes Christian again," 
should be the song of married Christians. To do that, they 
must begin with their own.


CHILDREN AND CHRISTMAS

IT IS easy to understand how enraptured children can become 
at the contemplation of a tiny Babe in a manger. To have God 
reduce Himself to their own status, to become a child like 
them, to need a mother, what more could they desire! They 
feel on a footing with Him. The Almighty is of their stature!

We are told that on Christmas Eve, Saint John of the Cross 
used to carry a statue of the Infant Jesus in procession about 
the monastery. The procession would stop before each 
monk's cell asking hospitality for the Divine Babe. The cells, 
like the hearts of the monks, would open to faith and to love. 
Only then would the statue be carried to the Crib and the 
Divine Office begin.

Children share the simplicity of these holy monks. Nothing 
attracts them more than the Crib.

This very attraction makes it imperative that they learn about 
it correctly.

Care must be taken not to mix in with the gospel mystery any 
details which the child will later come to recognize as false. 
What good can come of representing Santa Claus almost as 
God the Father who has given us His Son? Why let children 
believe that it is the Infant Jesus Himself who comes down 
the chimney to bring them presents . . . only to hear some 
day, "You know, mamma, this is the last time I'm going to 
believe in Little Jesus who comes down the chimney with 
presents."

If we mix the false with the true, it is no wonder the child will 
not be able to separate legend from doctrine later on. The 
Gospel is sufficiently extraordinary in itself without our 
adding any of our own creations to it. If we do, we may well 
fear the child will become disgusted later at being deceived 
and reject everything.

Any charming legend or pious little story we may want to tell 
them when they are very little should be kept quite distinct 
and handled very differently from the dogmatic truths and 
authentic historical facts we teach them. Let us not introduce 
fairies into the story of Jeanne of Arc's childhood, nor put the 
legend of Saint Nicholas rescuing little children on a level 
with the realities of the Redemption, with the facts of Our 
Lord's saving us from hell.

If, therefore, we are to capitalize on the child's attraction for 
the marvelous, let us avoid abusing his credulity; above all 
when dealing with the lives of the saints, with the Blessed 
Virgin and with Christ, let us not mix the false with the true. 
Let us always keep on a plane apart those truths which are to 
be forever the object of ineradicable belief.

There is, however, a positive suggestion to offer: Explain to 
the child how Baptism has made him a living Crib; not a 
wooden manger padded with straw, but a living Crib; not a 
crib where only little Jesus lives but a Crib where the Three 
Persons of the Holy Trinity dwell, the Three Divine Persons. 
Here, too, is splendid opportunity to show the child the 
difference between the two presences--the presence of God in 
the soul through grace and the presence of Jesus in the stable 
through the Incarnation.


EUCHARISTIC EDUCATION (1)

A FATHER wrote the following incident to a friend:

"You are acquainted with my little boy. The other day his 
sister who is fifteen asked him, 'Bernard, what is the 
difference between Holy Communion and blessed bread?' 
That could have been a stickler for a little fellow only six-
and-a-half. 'Oh,' he answered quickly, 'they are not at all 
alike. Blessed bread is just bread and Holy Communion is our 
good Jesus.' The child has never had formal catechism 
lessons, but he has observed about him the practice of 
Christian life; he has heard his mother tell him upon 
returning from church that she had received Holy 
Communion; that is all."

However the child acquired his correct ideas, it is evident 
that with a knowledge of this kind he is ready to make his 
First Holy Communion.

The Church requires the child to know the difference between 
the Blessed Eucharist and ordinary bread. Relative to this 
point the bishops of Belgium state in their "Practical 
Instructions" that "the child has sufficient knowledge and has 
met requirements if he knows according to his capacity that 
in the Eucharistic Bread there is the true living Body of Jesus 
Christ with His soul and His divinity, glorious as He is in 
heaven."

By way of supplementary explanation the Instructions add:

"It suffices to have him know that Jesus Christ died for us 
upon the Cross before ascending to heaven; that He wanted to 
remain among us in the Host in the tabernacle; that He 
deigned to make Himself the food of our souls; that it is the 
priest who changes the bread and wine into the Body and 
Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ when he pronounces the words 
of Consecration during Mass and that from this moment on 
the Host is no longer bread but it has become the living Body 
of Jesus Christ; that Jesus is hidden in this Host; that when 
one receives Holy Communion he receives God into his heart 
and that, therefore, he must before receiving cleanse his soul 
from all stain of sin."

Moreover, the Instructions further observe that in addition to 
the knowledge of the Eucharist as already described, the 
child ought to know and understand to the best of his ability:

That he has been created by God;

That this God, the Creator and Sovereign Master of all things 
is One only God;

That there are Three Persons in God: the Father, the Son, the 
Holy Spirit;

That the second Person became Man for us, suffered and died 
upon the Cross to save us;

That the person who with the grace of Jesus Christ does good 
by observing the law of God will be rewarded by God in 
heaven;

While the person who does evil by disobeying the law of God 
and who dies in the state of mortal sin will be deprived of the 
vision of God in heaven and will be punished eternally in 
hell.

It is important to note the stress laid upon the two phrases, 
according to his capacity and to the best of his ability.

The Church does not demand a profound knowledge; she 
requires only a knowledge proportionate to the age of the 
child. It is not necessary for him to know bookish formulas 
by heart; nor is it sufficient for him to learn by heart 
explanations which he recites like a parrot. The child should 
understand--according to his capacity, yes--but he should 
truly understand.


EUCHARISTIC EDUCATION ( 2 )

BESIDES the knowledge of the truths of faith which the child 
should have according to his age and intelligence, the Church 
requires of him the desire to approach God in the Eucharist 
before admitting him to his First Holy Communion. Diocesan 
statutes state:

"It is essential that, knowing the infinite love which brings 
our Divine Savior to him and the desire Our Lord has to give 
Himself and to unite Himself with him in Holy Communion, 
the child should on his part desire to approach Jesus and give 
evidence of his veneration and his love for Him."

This sufficient devotion supposes:

"The pious recitation of the prayers essential for the 
Christian: The Our Father, the Hail Mary, the Apostles' Creed, 
the Acts of Faith, Hope, Charity and of Contrition and 
dispositions of reverence toward the Holy Eucharist."

At what age can these conditions be realized?

Canon Law avoids setting a mathematical age. It states:

"All the faithful of either sex who have attained the age of 
discretion, that is to say, the age of reason, ought to receive 
the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist at least once a year, 
during the Easter season, unless on the advice of his own 
confessor and for a reasonable cause he be justified in 
differing for the time being from the accomplishment of this 
precept." (Canon 859)

We can readily understand that because of differences in 
intelligence, receptivity of soul, educational environment, 
and the catechetical instruction obtainable the age required 
for First Holy Communion can vary. It is up to those charged 
with the spiritual care of the child to determine whether he 
has attained the correct age. Children attain it sooner than we 
might think in many cases.

If parents want to stimulate a desire for Holy Communion in 
their child, is it not evident that they themselves must have 
an ardent hunger for It? A mother who seldom receives Holy 
Communion will hardly be able to instill in her little ones a 
desire to receive Jesus. Should she none the less succeed in 
imparting to them a burning desire for Holy Communion, how 
will she then prevent their astonishment at her own lack of 
eagerness to communicate? What is good for the children is 
good for mamma, too, isn't it?

All things considered, is it not also true that what holds for 
the mother holds equally for the father?

Certainly there may at times be sufficiently justifiable 
reasons why papa and mamma cannot receive Holy 
Communion so often as their children and the reasons can be 
given to the children. However, it is well to remember that a 
child uses admirable logic. He will not accept as a precious 
treasure something which no one around him appears to 
appreciate.

Further there is nothing that so convinces and draws him as 
example.


EUCHARISTIC EDUCATION ( 3 )

IT WOULD be a mistake to limit the Eucharistic knowledge of 
the child to an understanding of the Real Presence and the 
nature of Holy Communion.

As soon as possible and in proportion to the unfolding of his 
understanding, the child should be initiated into the Mystery 
of the Eucharistic-Sacrifice, or in other words, he should be 
given an intelligent appreciation of the Mass. This naturally 
supposes that those instructing him have complete and 
correct information on this vital subject--unfortunately, this 
is not often the case.

It is easy to explain even to relatively young children--as was 
evidenced in the Children's Crusade--that Our Lord did not 
want to limit the offering of His immolation on the Cross to a 
single day, to Good Friday only.

Because sins were going to continue to swarm the earth, it 
was fitting--although certainly in itself not necessary, but 
assuredly fitting--for Our Lord to repeat His elevation 
between earth and heaven, to put Himself as a screen--the 
screen of His nail-pierced Hands and open Side--between the 
justice of God perpetually outraged and the sins of humanity.

Consequently, before dying, Our Lord gave to His Apostles 
and their successors the power to change bread and wine into 
His Body and Blood, the power to offer Him anew, the power 
in each Holy Mass to lift him up again between earth and 
heaven.

Since every day is marked by sin and the betrayal of Judas, by 
the crimes of men, by forgetfulness and ingratitude without 
name on the part of so many people, it is fitting, says Bossuet, 
that every day be a Good Friday.

Our Lord in every Mass has again in the hands of the priest 
the dispositions of complete sacrifice that were in His Heart 
at the moment of the First Eucharistic Offering and which He 
kept throughout His Passion and His agony on the Cross.

In this way will the Offering of His Sacrifice be perpetuated.

It is not a different immolation from the immolation of Holy 
Thursday at the Last Supper; it is the same. Nor is it a 
different immolation from the immolation on Calvary. There 
it was a bloody sacrifice; at the altar, in the Mass, it is an 
unbloody sacrifice. The form alone is different.

In order to stress the identity of the Mass and the Sacrifice of 
the Cross--for it is a dogma that they are one and the same 
sacrifice--the Church provides carefully that at every Holy 
Mass a great number of details recall the immolation of Jesus 
on Calvary.

The priest may not celebrate Mass unless there is a crucifix 
above the altar. The altar stone beneath the altar cloths is 
marked by five crosses which recall the five Wounds of Our 
Lord. All the objects the priest uses and the vestments he 
wears have reminders of the cross.

There should then not be too much difficulty for the child if 
he is alert to become well informed about the ineffable 
mystery of Christ's renewed or rather continued immolation. 
Then he will get the habit--and a very essential habit it is--of 
receiving Holy Communion not only to receive but also to 
give; not only to benefit by the Living Bread but to unite 
himself with Jesus in the very act of His perpetuated 
Sacrifice.


EUCHARISTIC EDUCATION (4)

SHOULD children be led further in their Eucharistic education 
than the phases discussed so far? That is, should they at such 
an early age be introduced to the subject of grace, 
particularly the ineffable grace given to the world through 
the Sacrament of the altar?

It may be advisable to wait a bit before introducing them to 
the subject of grace but it should be kept constantly in mind. 
We ought not take it upon ourselves to dispense to these little 
Christians only a part of Christianity.

Before we can penetrate to the depths of the Eucharistic 
mystery, we must understand the great doctrine of our 
incorporation in Christ: Our Lord, in order to restore to us the 
divine life which we lost by original sin, was not satisfied to 
redeem us from without by paying our debts with the merits 
of His life and sacrifice; He wanted to make us one with Him 
which, as I have already understood in my meditations, is the 
culminating point of Christianity. Our Lord in order to 
redivinize us made us one with Himself.

Thanks to the bloody grafting Our Divine Lord was willing to 
endure for love of us on Calvary, we were made capable of 
being joined, set and established as branches of the Living 
Trunk. Baptism made this sublime incorporation effective for 
each of us.

Since Calvary, then, we are of the body of Christ--Christ's 
mystical body: Jesus plus us. "I am the Vine, you are the 
branches."

A beautiful and strictly logical consequence follows: Just as 
the Divine Redeemer dying on the Cross offered Himself as 
Head of the whole human race, so in this pure oblation He 
offers not only Himself as Head of the Church to the 
Heavenly Father, but in Himself, His mystical members as 
well.

Since Calvary, Jesus is not separated from His members. A 
person passing through a door does not first put his head 
through and then fifty feet later bring through the other 
members of his body; he goes through as a unit at one time.

Is it so difficult to get our little Christians to understand that? 
Naturally, we will attempt to explain it to them only after we 
have made them conscious of what their baptism means to 
them and the splendor of their status in Christ.

We tell ourselves too easily that it is difficult and under this 
satisfying pretext we neglect to give the young the relish and 
the knowledge for their splendor which they are actually 
capable of enjoying.

I will teach my children as soon as possible to find in the 
Eucharist Christ's great plan for proving His love. "He has 
made us one with Him. In the act of sacrifice through the 
hands of the priest, whose word alone has brought Him to be 
present on the altar the Faithful themselves with one desire 
and one prayer offer to the Eternal Father the most acceptable 
victim of praise and propitiation for the Church's universal 
needs."


EUCHARISTIC EDUCATION (5)

WE OUGHT to get the children into the habit of going to Holy 
Communion not only to receive, although that in itself is a 
tremendous privilege for "Unless you eat the Flesh of the Son 
of Man you shall not have life in you" but most of all to give. 
We have considered this point before, but it is worthy of 
much thought.

How can we expect to enter into a true union with One who is 
both the Immolation and the Immolated if we do not strive to 
nourish the spirit of sacrifice in the very depths of our being? 
To join together two beings one of whom is in the state of 
sacrifice and the other not, one who is imbued with the spirit 
of generosity and immolation and one who is not would be 
but a juxtaposition of two totally different beings. Is that 
union?

The spirit of sacrifice then is the prime disposition we should 
foster in ourselves if we wish to profit the most from the 
Eucharist. The priest at the Offertory puts a few drops of 
water into the chalice. We must pour our whole selves into 
the chalice to be offered.

The desire to give much more than the desire to receive 
should move us. To offer our generosity; to understand the 
call to sacrifice, to a united sacrifice, that is the Eucharistic 
spirit.

If only we could inspire all our religious practices and 
activities with this disposition which means so much to us 
when we are participating in the highest act of worship 
possible, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

For how many is their whole life of prayer only their prayers 
of petition! They are in difficulty, they need something and 
they hold out their hand, "Lord, give me...." Such a prayer is 
not forbidden, but that is not all there is to prayer.

"Prayer," says the Catechism, "is the raising up of our minds 
and hearts to God...." Why? In order to adore Him, to thank 
Him, to beg His pardon and to implore His graces.

The petition for graces comes last in the order of prayers. 
First and foremost is the prayer of adoration, it is our homage 
ascending to God. It is toward Him and not toward ourselves 
that our souls are to be directed in prayer. "I praise You, O 
God, for Your great glory." That is the fundamental sentiment 
of the Gloria in Excelsis. "My soul doth magnify the Lord" is 
Mary's exultant prayer, the Magnificat.

In the prayer of Thanksgiving, there is some thought of 
ourselves but we are secondary. We pray because we have 
received a gift from God. We thank Him for His beneficence. 
This kind of prayer could be much more frequent! There are 
so many who are in the habit of receiving without ever so 
much as a "Thank You."

In the prayer for pardon, he who prays is surely present in his 
prayer; he has sinned; it is of himself he speaks. The prayer 
is excellent just the same, but it is only third in order of 
excellence.

How much prayer would there be left in the lives of most 
Christians if their prayers of petition were omitted from their 
worship of God?

How do I stand in this matter of prayer? Is it my principal 
effort to interest God in my affairs rather than to interest 
myself in Him?

I ought to broaden my concept of worship. I will teach my 
children to petition, to implore, to thank, but above all I will 
teach them to adore.


TRAINING TO PURITY (1)

THE child is naturally innocent. Moreover, if baptized, it 
possesses with infused faith a special quality of innocence 
which comes to it from the presence of the Holy Spirit in its 
soul.

We must avoid any diminishing of this innocence. It is a great 
mistake to think that because the child is innocent, "it doesn't 
understand," and consequently to take no precautions; to be 
lacking in vigilance over the child's bathing and dressing, to 
let it run about without clothes, unsupervised before its 
brothers and sisters.

The adults of the family, too, should avoid any immodesty 
either in posture or dress before the little one; they should 
keep out of its way pictures of questionable decency. True, at 
the time, the harm may be slight or even negative, but the 
child has eyes and a memory; it registers everything, stores it 
all away.

Only when the child is still a baby should it be allowed to 
stay in bed after it is awake. Great care should be exercised 
for bodily cleanliness to prevent the formation of bad habits 
that might result from discomfort. It is best to separate the 
sexes for sleep and to give the children a bed that is not too 
soft.

As the children grow older, we must be vigilant over their 
choice of playmates. We should protect them from any 
pictures, statues, advertisements or entertainment that can 
disturb them. We are wise if we keep the children busy even 
to the point of fatigue, but a fatigue in keeping with their age 
and strength. Never should we praise children for their 
beauty, especially little girls. We ought also to inspire them 
to absolute confidence. In addition we must seize every 
opportunity to show them positively the grandeur of purity.

People sometimes attempt to rear children as if they were 
without sex. Children are either little boys or little girls. Long 
before the awakening of their sex instincts, in fact from their 
babyhood, their personality is distinctly individual and gives 
foreshadowings of fatherhood or of motherhood. Sex, 
although its characteristic functions do not become active 
until the onset of puberty, impregnates the whole physical 
and moral being from the beginning. Consequently, it is 
important to foresee long in advance the unfolding of that 
providential power which is still dormant yet capable of 
being influenced beneficially or detrimentally at this early 
stage according to the wisdom of the folly of its training.

It would be well, then, to heed the strong injunctions of a 
one-time educator: "We must never forget that certain organs 
of the child which still serve him only in the processes of 
elimination will become for him during adolescence the seat 
of the powerful passion of the flesh and that then certain 
acts, looks, attitudes which now may be only vulgar or 
immodest can easily be after the awakening of sexual urges 
impure and perverse. Further, such acts and attitudes can 
arouse unhealthy and troublesome sexual excitation 
prematurely and during the crisis of adolescence turn 
spontaneously into the development of a vice which seems to 
be rooted in the soul from its budding forth so truly is habit 
second nature; and habit is difficult to break even in early 
childhood."

We should not, however, be satisfied with a purely negative 
training to holy purity, a training made up for the most part 
of wise precautions. There is need, too, for positive training 
in this beautiful virtue. This positive training will in part 
consist of education in true facts, a discreet and chaste 
explanation of the functions of the generative organs 
according to God's plan; an explanation as complete as the 
age of the child permits or requires. The duty of giving this 
instruction falls largely upon the mother who only too often 
finds herself inadequately prepared.


TRAINING TO PURITY (2)

IT IS a fact that even very young children become curious 
about the difference of the sexes as well as the mystery of 
generation and they express their curiosity with embarrassing 
candor and directness in blunt questions: "Where do babies 
come from?"

In general, no one is better qualified than the mother to give 
the initial instructions and information delicately, without 
wounding innocence or troubling and shocking the child's 
keenly susceptible soul by confronting it too brusquely with 
disturbing new concepts. It is better for the father to instruct 
the boys. Parents have the grace of state; furthermore, they 
know or they ought to know how to speak to their children 
and exactly what to say according to what the child already 
knows or does not know, according to its impressionability, 
its probable emotional reaction, its intelligence, its 
imagination.

The initial instruction must always be strictly individual, 
never group instruction.

Such instruction should be given early enough, in time, but 
never prematurely. Rarely should a mass of information be 
given at once, but nearly always imparted progressively. One 
must never give any false information, but neither is one 
obliged to tell all there is to be told at one blow. Only such 
knowledge should be given as is necessary to clarify the 
present difficulty, to satisfy the child's curiosity at the time. 
Later when occasion offers to complete the information, it 
can be completed.

The introduction of the child to the facts of life must be 
made with simplicity, without excessive preambles and 
beating about the bush, objectively without clumsiness; they 
must be presented as something quite natural but explained 
in an atmosphere of earnestness, dignity and respect. There 
must be nothing affected or borrowed in one's manner or 
tone, only calmness and a natural everyday voice uncolored 
by emotionalism. The child, however, must be made to 
realize that he has been given no new subject for chatter with 
his playmates and friends; if there is something he wishes to 
speak of later regarding his new information or if there is 
something he does not understand, he will always be able to 
ask mother or father about it; he should speak to them about 
it.

A very sensible mother concluded the instructions she gave 
her little one with these few words: "What I have just told you 
is a secret, our secret. Now that you know it, give me your 
hand and promise me that you will not question other people 
about it or ever speak to anyone else about it, but only to 
me."

A little child will be flattered by such a mark of confidence 
and being naturally pure will sense the reason for this 
recommendation as clearly as if it had been expressed.

In addition, if the child is used to living in an atmosphere of 
filial trust and abandonment, of respect for itself, of training 
in sacrifice, supernatural generosity, daily contact with the 
invisible world through prayer and love of God, its 
instruction will prove singularly easy.

We cannot overemphasize the fact that "training to purity 
must be set in the framework of a solid all-round training of 
the will, the conscience, the emotions, the imagination and 
the whole body." To enlighten the child regarding sex will 
serve for nothing and can even be harmful if it has not first 
been established in fidelity in the light of spirituality, and in 
energy of will.

In other words, formal training to purity must be preceded by 
training pure and simple. It will be possible to speak clearly 
to a child who lives in an environment that is deeply 
impregnated with Christianity. In his tranquil soul, innocent 
and disciplined as it is, useful initiations can take place with 
profit and without causing any trouble; his delicate 
conscience will understand; his refined and mortified 
emotions will yield readily to the requirements of modesty, 
and he will not be stimulated to an unhealthy curiosity.


TRAINING TO PURITY (3)

SATISFYING the child s legitimate curiosity is not of itself a 
sufficient antidote against evil; the nascent passions aiding a 
precocious corruption in which the mind could effect a 
premature awakening of troubling instincts could very easily 
be the starting point of impure habits. It is essential that with 
or preferably before we enlighten the child's mind on sex, we 
inspire him with a love for moral beauty and develop in him a 
generous will.

When we have done this, how should we proceed in teaching 
the child the mystery of life?

There are two aspects to the lesson: to explain the role of the 
mother in generation which is relatively easy; to explain the 
role of the father which is more delicate and which should 
consequently be given much later.

For the explanation of the first phase of this lesson there is 
no better starting point than the Hail Mary, "Blessed is the 
fruit of thy womb, Jesus."

"How beautiful it is," said little Guy de Fontgalland to his 
father one day, "how beautiful it is that little Jesus, wishing to 
come to earth like us, hid Himself for nine months within His 
mother, in His mother's womb! How beautiful it is! I learned 
that today when I said the Hail Mary; I understood it. How 
little Jesus must love us to do that for us!"

In "Formation de la chastete" by Ernst, we read an example of 
how easily and simply a mother went about the instruction of 
her child. "Where do babies come from?" queried her seven-
year-old son. She answered with a story:

"Your father and mother love each other very much. 
Therefore, they wanted a child with all their hearts. You know 
that little children come from God: He created the first man 
and gave all people life. But when He wanted to make another 
man, He made use of parents and He put love into their heart. 
He makes the little baby grow from a tiny little seed which he 
leaves hidden for almost a year in a dark little hiding place. 
You know flowers, plants and even big trees come also from 
little seeds. (It is good to call children's attention to that fact 
very early as it makes a good background.) Now each grain 
must first of all remain some time in the dark earth. The seed 
of the child has been placed by God's plan in the womb of the 
mother; that is its hiding place. That is where you, too, 
remained quite near my heart and God made your body and 
soul. How? No one really knows but God Himself. You grew 
until you were big enough to be taken in my arms.

"Even though the mother suffers great pain and may be in 
danger of losing her life when the baby comes into the world, 
she is glad to bear it all for love of her little one. Besides her 
joy is greater than her pain. Parents thank God for His gift 
and promise Him to take good care of the child and rear it 
well."
There will be no difficulty if these instructions are given 
before puberty when the opportunity arises.

The need to give the facts about the father's part in the 
marital act is much less pressing. Such details can be given 
when adolescent boys or girls ask specific questions on this 
point revealing that the problem is uppermost in their mind 
or when lack of knowledge if delayed would cause them 
troubles of mind or soul; even when the subject is not on 
their mind or causing them any difficulty, it may still seem 
advisable to instruct them by way of preparation for life, as 
for example, before they go away to school or enlist for 
military service, or take a vacation job or any similar 
occasion. How much better a revelation made with delicacy 
and love than a brutal shock to conscience through 
conversations, reading or impure pictures!

After giving the necessary details about the physiological 
aspect of marriage, parents should never fail to lead their 
child's mind as quickly as possible to a consideration of the 
glorious purpose of generation--a participation in the creative 
power of God.


TRAINING TO PURITY (4)

EVEN though there may be cases where it seems advisable to 
give all the necessary explanations in a single sitting, in 
general it is better to spread the lessons over a well-spaced 
period of time and to grade them according to the 
development of the child, its suspected temptations, and its 
needs of soul.

Wise are parents and educators who show concern for the 
child, foresee its needs, guess its worries, answer prudently 
and discreetly its silent or expressed questioning. They need 
much self-sacrifice and intelligence; but it is their role in life-
-the most beautiful part of their role.

After impressing the child with the fact that everything in the 
mystery of the origin of life is sacred, divine--the union of 
the parents, the generation of the child, which gives another 
elect soul to God and another member to the Mystical Body--
is there any need to call attention to the gravity of the 
desecrations that the perversity of men perpetrate against it?

Certainly such an idea should not be a starting point in our 
explanations; the child's first ideas about the origin of life 
must not be mingled with the concept of sin. The idea of, 
magnificent grandeur should dominate. Later on, at an 
opportune time and as the need arises, we can explain how 
contrary to God's plan it is to interfere in any way with the 
generation of life whether through selfishness or fear of 
suffering; we can point out how God has surrounded the use 
of the reproductive organs with special protections; we ought 
to emphasize the safeguarding character of modesty and call 
attention to the tremendous thought of God's divine presence 
within us, making respect for our bodies imperative since 
they are living temples of the Holy Spirit. We will tell them, 
too, that God punishes severely the wicked use of the creative 
power He has entrusted to His creatures, spiritually by loss of 
grace and by hell and often corporally by disease.

What we must avoid above all is to give the children a sort of 
obsession in regard to these matters. It is much better to 
divert their attention from this subject than to concentrate it 
there. One writer aptly says, "The best sex education is the 
kind in which sex holds the least place possible." Another, 
"The sacred work of nature must be enveloped by the triple 
veil of modesty, silence, and obscurity."

We must say enough to enlighten the child, to silence his 
curiosity, but refrain from saying more than necessary which 
would excite further curiosity and trouble. We should 
approach the instruction from its noblest side so that the 
thought of the mystery of life will always be linked with the 
thought of divine splendor. We need to pray much so that the 
child by means of our efforts and despite dangers from 
within and without will remain faithful in purity always, 
faithful to the grace of his baptism; constant in living by the 
light of faith. That means we cannot limit ourselves to purely 
natural explanations but must steep our teaching in dogma--
the divine life of the Christian, his incorporation in Christ.

From these religious principles we can show that it is not 
enough to have a beautiful ideal; we must live out this ideal, 
an ideal that is both human and Christian. The necessity of 
Confession, direction, and frequent Holy Communion, in 
achieving the ideal ought to be stressed.

It is primarily in this endeavor that the words of Our Lord 
have special significance: "Without Me you can do nothing." 
And again, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." It is 
folly to expose oneself to temptation and wise to moderate 
one's love of comfort and pleasure, to learn how to conquer 
oneself. Better still is it to learn how to spend oneself in the 
service of others. Nothing is a better protection against 
failings in self than the gift of self to others. The first 
beneficiary of the apostolate is the apostle himself. We ought 
to encourage youth to join in one or other of the special 
Catholic Action groups of the Apostolate such as a C. Y. O. 
group, a Sodality, or Catholic scout work. It will help 
discipline the body while training the soul.


READING

LAMARTINE'S mother wrote in her diary on June 19, 1801:

"I was thinking again today about the danger of light reading. 
I believe that I would do well to refrain altogether from it; it 
would be a sacrifice at first, a sacrifice that would certainly 
please God since such reading is one of the most dangerous 
pleasures in the world. Besides, when I am taken up with this 
distracting kind of reading, serious and useful reading 
wearies and bores me; yet, I certainly need it to become 
capable of instructing my children. For their sakes I have 
finally decided to deprive myself of the pleasures of 
frivolous reading."

Parents should exercise care in their own reading. They, too, 
must avoid all that could sully their souls and rob them of 
virtue. They can go even further and like Lamartine's mother 
give up reading that consumes the precious time which could 
be spent in useful reading. One needs to know so many 
things to rear children! Making due allowance for needful and 
useful distractions, one ought always to choose reading 
matter that will enrich the mind and foster the qualities 
needed for the delicate ministry of parenthood.

What good fortune to be helped in advance by one's children: 
"For their sakes, I am finally decided to deprive myself of the 
pleasure of frivolous reading."

But the parents' reading is not the only problem. There is 
another, the children's reading. What great imprudence is 
evident in many families where all sorts of reviews, 
magazines, newspapers, and books definitely unfit for 
children are left lying about in their way; where unwise 
freedom of the library is granted and children can ferret out 
books that are often harmful to their morals and Christian 
convictions.

Jean Jacques Rousseau's story is well known. Born a Calvinist 
of parents who could scarcely be called commendable, he 
met with nothing but disturbing examples in his early 
childhood; however, he manifested a singular purity in 
resisting all interior and exterior temptations to corruption. 
He became a Catholic later and felt himself drawn to the 
priesthood. But his superiors decided at the end of a few 
weeks that he definitely did not have the makings of a good 
priest in him.

Some time after he left the seminary he was perverted 
morally by his benefactor, Madame de Warrens, who by most 
culpable relations shamefully debased the youth she called 
"Little one" despite her claim of wanting to act as "Mother" to 
him.

Awakening to a realization of his condition, Rousseau wrote 
in 1738: "O my God, pardon the sins I have committed up to 
this day, all the evils into which I have fallen.... Accept my 
repentance, O God, ...I will remember that You are the witness 
of all my actions.... I will be indulgent toward others, severe 
toward myself; I will resist temptations; I will live purely.... O 
my sovereign Master, I will spend my life in serving You."

But unfortunately a library was opened to him and he 
"perused books with a sort of frenzy," with no direction, no 
discernment. He fell under the influence of Diderot, and 
became a recruit for the Encyclopedists.

We know the rest. His story should incite us to serious 
thought. On what does the orientation of a life depend? An 
unlocked door, momentary forgetfulness, negligence--and a 
soul is perverted forever!

The conclusion is evident: Never to have bad books in the 
house. What good comes of them?

If for purposes of study or other reasons, books which might 
prove dangerous for the rest of the family are absolutely 
essential, they must always be kept in a locked place. 
Children are curious, so too are the help. Harm is quickly 
done!


TRAINING OF THE EMOTIONS

MANY parents are too soft in the training of their children. In 
order not to pain their offspring, they give in to their every 
whim. If the little one wants to be kissed, it is kissed; more 
often than not its desire for the kiss is anticipated by the 
parents to satisfy a desire of their own and to shower upon 
the little one proofs of an exaggerated tenderness. Should the 
child want a piece of candy, an object to examine, the parents 
rush to give it; they give him everything he wants or they 
think he wants.

What is the result? A child incapable of self denial; a child 
who seeks only one thing, the satisfaction of his little 
cravings. What a great danger for later life!

Father Viollet, director of the Association of Catholic Mothers, 
speaking at its convention in 1929 said:

"Consider a mother who has obeyed all the corporal whims of 
her child; she has in so doing prepared for all the child's 
future falls. The little one lives as it were only by the senses 
of taste and touch. If a mother satisfies every sensual desire 
of the child in the delight of the palate and bodily comforts, 
she unconsciously makes it a slave of its desires; are we not 
correct then in saying that she herself has paved the way for 
the child's powerlessness later to control its sexual life?

"When sex urges appear, it is only a matter of a change of 
place for the sense cravings: The desires that in the child 
were but the hankerings of its palate will spread at the age of 
puberty to the other parts of the body. If the child has not 
been accustomed from little on to control his sense of taste 
and touch, how do we suppose he can escape becoming the 
slave of sexual sensuality? This is a point that cannot be 
overlooked."

Some parents are too demonstrative toward their children. Of 
course, there is no question of forbidding all marks of 
affection so natural on the part of the parents for their 
children and the children for their parents; that too would be 
an extreme. It is simply a matter of moderating tender 
caresses, of keeping them in their proper measure, well-
ordered.

Just as it is essential for children to be reared in an 
atmosphere of joyous confidence, loving simplicity, 
harmonious companionship penetrated through and through 
with mutual love, so too it is essential to avoid excess in 
demonstrations of affection, endearing expressions, caresses 
and fondling. Excess in this just as excess in any other 
respect is a defect. It is easy to fall into such excess. Canon 
Dermine, a very understanding man, made this comment:

"Parents, older brothers and sisters, maids, governesses, 
friends of the family are inclined by the attraction of their 
own feelings to shower babies with hugs and kisses. These 
immoderate manifestations, although they have nothing 
indecent about them, are not without danger, for they nourish 
in the child a need for tenderness and a sort of sensuality 
which can easily become a predisposition for the awakening 
of the passions. Here moderation should be the rule."

The training of the children begins in the training of the 
parents. They ought to moderate their own feelings if they do 
not want their children to give evidence later of some 
dangerously exacting needs. There is one kind of glutton who 
stuffs himself with food and sweets; there is another who is 
consumed by a need for caresses.

Let us be moderate ourselves on these points so that we can 
teach the children to be moderate. Training is built on wise 
and intelligent moderation.


THE CHILD AND LAZINESS

IT HAS been said that a great difficulty in child-training is to 
know when to caress and when to whip.

While it is true that many of the child's faults arise from his 
physical condition, we should not exaggerate that fact; 
however, until we have proved that the fault is not the result 
of a physical state, an embrace is of more value than a 
whipping.

But here is a child whose faults are moral not physical, nor is 
there a psychological difficulty involved; he is sensual, he 
lies and he steals. There is nothing for it but to use restraints 
and punishments, without, however, neglecting wholesome 
encouragement at any manifestation of good will.

This is all very simple in theory, but the practical application 
of it is not always easy especially when the fault in question 
happens to be laziness. When a normally intelligent child 
dawdles at his work; when in spite of all efforts to stimulate 
him with high motives of courage, hope of reward and similar 
attractions, he persists in his inertia, chances are that he has 
something physically wrong with him or he is suffering from 
poor hygienic conditions. There was, for example, the little 
boy who appeared to be disgustingly lazy. One day, however, 
an attack of appendicitis made an operation imperative for 
him. Six months later, the child was at the head of his class.

Another child was in a classroom that was overcrowded and 
the atmosphere was so vitiated that he had difficulty 
breathing. He was sent to the country and immediately his 
work habits improved.

Whipping in either of these two cases would have been no 
help in curing the laziness of the children; all that was 
necessary was to make conditions favorable for work.

But there are truly lazy children; theirs is a moral laziness: 
They won't work at all because they don't have the least bit of 
energy. The Catechism defines laziness as "an excessive love 
of rest which makes one avoid every painful duty." That is 
exactly what it is.

Now people who work do so either through a taste for it, 
through self-respect or because of duty. The problem, then, 
with the really lazy child is to try to stimulate in him a liking 
for work or awaken in him a legitimate self-respect or develop 
in him a sense of duty.

Stimulate a liking for work: Sometimes children dislike school 
work especially because their beginning lessons in a subject 
were poorly taught. The child was repulsed by initial 
difficulties. That is often the case in mathematics.

"My son is getting along all right," a mother explained, "but he 
is a little weak in Greek." The fact was that the elements of 
that language had been badly explained to him. A clever 
professor took him in hand, showed him that Greek was 
easier than Latin once the first difficulties of the alphabet, 
the declensions, and the conjugations had been conquered. 
The boy won a first in Greek.

Awaken a legitimate self-respect: Some children prefer rest 
and comfort to all else. The last place bothers them very 
little. They seem to have no ambition; they are utterly 
indifferent to success. We need not fear to humiliate them 
but we must be vigilant not to discourage them. The dunce 
cap worn too often frequently produces a real dunce. We 
must be ingenious to find a way to make that pupil succeed 
in something at least once. This could be a good starting 
point; then, if nothing comes of it, punishment should follow. 
We are, it must be remembered, considering the case of a 
child who does not succeed, not because he lacks the means, 
but because he does not work.

Develop a sense of duty: "You ought to work because papa and 
mamma wish it and God asks it." Bring into play a filial spirit 
and love of God.

Parents must know correct child psychology. They are the 
ones who have given him his physiological being. It is up to 
them to examine whether anything in his physical condition 
explains his inertia at work; they are in a better position than 
anyone else to determine this. If the deficiency is 
psychological, they have the responsibility for seeking into 
its cause and supplying the appropriate remedy. It is up to 
them, without substituting their own activity for the child's to 
teach him how to will by stimulating his will.


LAZY CHILDREN

CHILDREN who do not work or who work badly are of several 
types.

There are sickly children: Here the remedy is up to the 
doctor.

There are poorly endowed children: They are not exactly ill; 
people can be in splendid health without being very 
intelligent. Some children have little talent. Rare are the 
parents who have the courage to recognize it; they are 
ashamed, and wrongly so, of the weak instrument their 
offspring has received. They ought to pity the child whose 
mind is less keen as they pity the child who is crippled or in 
weak health. Besides with patience they can sometimes 
achieve excellent results.

Then there are children who are badly trained by their 
parents or poorly taught by their teachers. They have been 
allowed to acquire habits of disorder and caprice or they have 
been roughly treated, overwhelmed with tasks beyond their 
ability to the point of being crushed by their work; they have 
been taught neither discipline nor a good method of work. In 
their case poor pedagogy is to blame. Finally, there are the 
actually lazy children: They are sufficiently endowed, 
sufficiently healthy to do normal work, but they refuse to 
apply themselves, go at their work grudgingly and seek to do 
the least possible amount of work.

Such evil is frequently traceable to an early childhood 
marked by too soft a training, an inadequate training in effort 
and endurance. The child did not start early enough to use 
profitably the opportunities to exercise liberty, to assume 
responsibility and to attack work. The parents acted for him 
instead of trying to form him. They lacked skill in 
transforming play into work and work into play. They gave 
him toys which offered him no chance to use his intelligence, 
his constructive bent, his imagination and creative powers. 
And whenever they held out the prospect of school life to him 
they led him to regard it as a task or punishment: "If you are 
not good at home we will send you to school soon," instead of 
"If you are good, we shall be able to send you to school and 
you will have the joy of beginning to work."

The child who is poorly trained will get accustomed to 
cutting his life up into two parts: the principal part belongs to 
pleasure with the other part thrown in from time to time--
those boring moments assigned to work. He should have been 
impressed with the idea that work is the law of our whole life; 
it is the unfolding and the extension of our powers and if it 
brings with it a certain amount of labor, it also brings with it 
a greater amount of joy which results from overcoming 
difficulties, acquiring new knowledge and opening up 
additional possibilities for advancing farther into the field of 
truth. Recreations, games are but opportunities to relax and 
to stretch out into the open as it were to grasp new strength 
for further work.

Work should be presented not as a drudgery but as a 
conquest. Very early in life the child should be led to 
envision his future career or mission: "If you want to become 
an engineer, a sailor, then...." Or "You will be a mother maybe 
and you will have to keep house." They should see that papa 
and mamma find pleasure in work and better still that work 
pleases God. We must all of us sanctify ourselves in the duty 
of our state at each moment whether we like it or not. If we 
like it, so much the better. If we do not like it, then we ought 
to put greater generosity into it and offer our suffering for a 
worthy cause, such as the missions, the sanctification of 
priests and religious, one's family and many similar good 
intentions.

Care should be taken not to overdo the reward idea, 
especially rewards promised as a prize for work requested; 
that develops calculating hearts. Ask for work for the reasons 
previously indicated and wait for an opportunity to give an 
appropriate recompense on some other occasion; it will be so 
much more a prize since it will be unexpected.


TRAINING IN SINCERITY (1)

THE CHILD is exposed to two sorts of lies: the lie of which he 
himself is the victim; the lie of which he makes others the 
victim.

The child has an imagination that never ceases its activity. 
His first contacts with the world have been with dream 
powers; he knows nothing yet of reality being much too little 
to grasp it; he makes a world for himself, a world in which he 
is king and lord. Even later when he does begin to get in 
touch with reality, he will use it only as a springboard to 
project himself into the stars. Dream and reality overlap in 
his little head without harming each other; they merely 
embellish each other and he will not be able to recognize the 
line of separation. That accounts for so much fantasy in his 
conversation and the astonishing liberty he takes with what 
we adults hold as true.

Weighed by our standards, it is clearly evident that the 
child's stories sound to us like downright inventions. He 
himself will be taken in by his own game. He will distort with 
delight, improvise the strangest scenes without shame. Will 
he always be able to distinguish whether he is the dupe of his 
imagination or not? Whether he is sincere or not? He is a 
wonderful builder of castles in the air and he will often 
endeavor to persuade those about him with the solidity of his 
edifices. Shall we call him a liar?

--Certainly not, rather an actor, an artist, a poet.

Parents and educators know well how advantageously they 
can utilize this power of recall and creation that children 
have. Consequently, they know no better way to amuse them 
and keep them quiet than to tell them stories--stories that are 
entirely fictitious, tales of magic, picturesque legends in 
which ghosts, fairies or devils play enchanting roles.

Let us not carry water too generously to the fountain. Yes, 
certainly, we can tell the little ones charming stories but with 
moderation. Make the children want them; however, avoid 
killing their effect by telling too many in close sequence. 
Children must be able to think over the stories, mediate on 
them, and through them discover life as it is. If the stories 
resemble each other or follow in too close succession, the 
child's imagination will jumble everything; the profit is 
considerably lessened.

One precaution is vital: The stories, which will surely always 
be very appealing and not without some suggestion of 
complication and mystery, must definitely present virtue in a 
beautiful light; otherwise, the child will be occupied, 
entertained and kept interested but he will not be educated or 
inspired. Since he is possessed of uncompromising logic he 
will be quick to draw dangerous conclusions if he sees vice 
rewarded; and the unpleasant results may not be slight. From 
this standpoint some puppet shows are not so innocent as 
they appear. We must not be pharisaical but we must know 
how to foresee danger. With children everything is important.

Even one or the other of La Fontaine's fables have 
questionable merit for children. Fortunately, with these 
fables, the children are much more interested in the activities 
of the characters than in the moral demonstrated. As one 
child put it: "Fables are entertaining; it is a pity though that 
there must always be a tiresome closing at the end." He was 
referring to the final two or three lines, the author's moral 
tag, which pointed out the lesson to be taught.

Let us not forget that the most beautiful stories are not made-
up stories, but stories that really happened. "Did that really 
happen, mamma?" What a joy to be able to answer yes to that 
question. Why not take the bulk of our stories, if not 
exclusively at least mostly, from the lives of the saints, from 
the Gospel stories? Where can anything more wonderful, 
more truly wonderful, and at the same time more authentic, 
be found?


TRAINING IN SINCERITY (2)

THERE is another kind of lie possible for the child, one that 
has moral significance, and that is the lie told with the actual 
intention of deceiving.

He may categorically deny his guilt when accused of a fault 
he has actually committed, or he may invent falsehoods 
through vanity. In the first instance he is seeking to 
exonerate himself; in the second, to make himself more 
important.

Often the reason the child tells the first kind of lie is that the 
punishment he gets for his little pranks and misdemeanors is 
out of all proportion to his offense. So many parents punish 
under the influence of anger that cruel words, exaggerated 
expressions and sometimes mean acts escape them. The child 
unable to resist by strength seeks to escape by deceit.

Sometimes the child lies for the sole satisfaction of excusing 
himself; not to mention the case, which is not at all fantastic, 
where the child lies for the sake of lying through an 
unhealthy tendency which is fortunately rare. In cases of this 
kind, the little offender must be shown how ugly such a fault 
is, how unworthy of him and how saddening for his parents.

Wise indeed was the mother who used the following 
technique on her four-year-old daughter the first time she 
tried to deceive her.

"My little girl has lied to me. This is the first time that anyone 
has lied in this house; therefore my little one may not have 
any dessert today because she deserves to be punished and 
mamma will not eat either because she will not be able to; she 
feels too sad."

Even when children are older such a method is good. A 
certain colonel had entrusted his sixteen-year-old son with 
the honor of keeping the flag of his regiment in his room; he 
took the privilege away from him as a punishment for a small 
lie.

The following counsel ought to be adopted as principles of 
conduct by those who want to inculcate an appreciation of 
sincerity in their children:

1. To create and to maintain an atmosphere of loyalty, of 
uprightness and of utter truth in the home. To instill a horror 
of sham, of pretense, of playing-up through policy. To 
encourage simplicity in everything; to take it for granted that 
no one will seek to pass for what he is not; that if one has 
done wrong he will admit it. To refrain from upbraiding and 
to tolerate no tattling. To prais