PARENTS, CHILDREN AND THE FACTS OF LIFE


Text on Sex Education for Christian Parents
and for Those Concerned with Helping Parents


by HENRY V. SATTLER, C.SS.R., Ph.D.
Assistant Director, Family Life Bureau
National Catholic Welfare Conference


With a Foreword by:
FRANCIS J. CONNELL, C.SS.R., S.T.D.
Professor Emeritus of Moral Theology
Catholic University of America


ST. ANTHONY GUILD PRESS, PATERSON, N.J.
COPYRIGHT, 1952, BY ST. ANTHONY'S GUILD


Imprimi potest:
John Sephton, C.SS.R., Sup. Prov.
October 13, 1951


Nihil obstat:
Bede Babo, O.S.B., Censor Librorum


Imprimatur:
+ Thomas A. Boland, Bishop of Paterson
October 22, 1952



CONTENTS

I.     GETTING OUR BEARINGS

II.    THE CHURCH AND SEX EDUCATION

III.   WHOSE DUTY IS SEX EDUCATION?

IV.    GENERAL NORMS FOR SEX EDUCATION

V.     RELIGIOUS CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: I
       (Vocation, Sex, and the Purpose of Life)

VI.    RELIGIOUS CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: II
       (The Challenge to Purity; Means To Attain It)

VII.   MORAL CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: I
       (Chastity--Principles I and II)

VIII.  MORAL CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: II
       (Modesty--Principles III and IV)

IX.    EMOTIONAL ATTITUDES TOWARD SEX AND SEX EDUCATION

X.     PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS IN CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION

XI.    PHYSIOLOGICAL CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION

XII.   DANGERS TO PURITY

XIII.  REMOTE PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE

XIV.   IMMEDIATE PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE

       CONCLUSION 
       BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE 
       INDEX



FOREWORD

The right and duty to educate children belongs in the first place 
to those who gave them life, their parents. Indeed, the education 
of the young is so intimately bound up with parenthood that the 
Catholic Church has always regarded it as pertaining to the 
primary end of matrimony. Parents may--and usually do--depute to 
professional teachers the task of instructing their boys and 
girls in the various branches of natural knowledge that make up 
the curriculum of schools and colleges. Catholic parents may 
delegate even a portion of the spiritual training of their 
children to the teachers in the parochial schools. But parents 
may not entirely consign to others the task of providing for the 
moral and religious formation of their sons and daughters. 
Almighty God, who has conferred on a married couple the privilege 
of bringing children into the world, has commanded that they 
actively and earnestly help those children to know, love and 
serve Him in this life, so that they will be happy with Him 
forever in the life beyond the grave.

One of the most important phases in this parental duty of 
promoting the spiritual welfare of the young is sex education. 
Unfortunately, to many parents this means nothing more than the 
imparting of biological facts concerning the process of 
procreation and the measures to be taken in order to avoid 
disease. To Catholics, sex education means much more than this. 
It signifies, primarily, the training of boys and girls to be 
pure and innocent, and eventually to enter marriage with a noble 
and holy purpose, if God calls them to that state of life.

However, as most parents would readily admit, the proper 
fulfillment of this task is by no means easy. The embarrassment 
that is likely to accompany the frank discussion of so delicate 
and personal a matter, the difficulty of choosing the right 
terms, and the fear that the child will ask questions which they 
may not be able to answer deter many parents from undertaking 
their duty, despite the unquestionable fact that in this age of 
blatant indecency and sexual license the proper sex education of 
adolescents is vitally necessary if their chastity is to be 
preserved.

The present volume is intended to help parents fulfill this 
particular duty in the training of their boys and girls. Father 
Sattler has treated the subject clearly and thoroughly. What 
parents should tell their children, when and how they should tell 
it, what psychological and moral dangers they must avoid in 
giving sex instruction, what questions they must expect--these 
and many other pertinent problems are discussed in detail and 
answered in a simple and sensible manner.

In propounding the method to be followed and the expressions to 
be employed for imparting sex information, Father Sattler has 
avoided two extremes which could easily spoil the instruction: on 
the one hand, vague and unsatisfying statements which are likely 
to arouse undue curiosity, and on the other hand, vivid and 
stimulating descriptions that may be a proximate occasion of sin 
to youthful hearers. Parents who follow the plan suggested in 
this book will do more than give their children all the knowledge 
they need at the appropriate time. They will also impart it in a 
calm and natural way that causes no emotional shock but rather 
instills into the minds of their boys and girls a spirit of 
respect and reverence for the sexual power whereby human beings 
can co-operate with God toward the propagation of citizens for 
the kingdom of heaven.

Father Sattler bases his teachings on the rules laid down by the 
Catholic Church for the sex training of the young, and 
particularly on the directions given by two of our recent Popes, 
Pius XI and Pius XII. He emphasizes the important fact that 
innocence (which is most desirable) is very different from 
ignorance (which may be a grave menace to the innocence of 
adolescents in this godless age). And he consistently applies the 
accepted principles of Catholic theology to the many concrete 
cases which constitute a very practical feature of this book.

In the questions and discussion aids which are found at the end 
of each chapter Father Sattler has made a distinctively valuable 
pedagogical contribution. Parents who give serious thought to 
these problems will find their understanding of the text 
clarified and co-ordinated. The benefit is greatly increased when 
a group of parents discuss these points frankly and honestly. It 
should likewise be noted that this book will also help teachers 
to discover and fulfill their function in chastity education as 
delegates and helpers in what is essentially a parental duty.

Although much that is contained in this book could be utilized 
with profit by persons of any religious creed, the book is 
intended primarily for Catholic parents. The Catholic Church is 
fully aware that the faith and loyalty of her members can be best 
assured when they possess an intelligent and logical grasp of the 
Church's teachings. For this reason, the Confraternity of 
Christian Doctrine approves this work as an outstanding 
contribution toward promoting a better understanding of Catholic 
teaching and toward inspiring both parents and children to 
practice fervently the glorious virtue of chastity, to which the 
Son of God attached the sublime promise: "Blessed are the clean 
of heart, for they shall see God."

FRANCIS J. CONNELL, C.SS.R., S.T.D.

Professor Emeritus of Moral Theology Catholic University of 
America



INTRODUCTION

Did a faint glimmer of hope spring up in your mind as you took 
this book down from the shelf or out of its wrapper? Did you say, 
perhaps: "At last, a book on sex education for ordinary parents, 
and not for teachers or for the children themselves"? Or were you 
rather skeptical: "Another book on sex education? I wonder 
whether this one will really help?" Yes, Dad or Mother, this book 
is really for you. It is not directed at you like a command or a 
sermon, but it's an answer to your own demand. The Parent-
Educator Committee of the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 
under a barrage of appeals from parents, asked the author to 
attempt this work. Not only is this book written for you and at 
your demand, but, to a large extent, it was written by you, since 
nearly every practical hint in its pages has come from parents 
themselves. The author has merely supplied the scientific 
framework, and the emotional, moral and religious setting within 
which your practical ideas have been or can be utilized.

Have you hesitated to educate your children in matters of sex? If 
so, has your indecision arisen from the constant disputes of the 
specialists? (For example, "Bathe young children of both sexes 
together." "No, don't do that!"--"Tell them all the facts at 
once, and early." "It is best to tell them the facts gradually."-
-"Give them a birds-and-bees story." "You'll only confuse them if 
you do!"--"Always use medical terms." "Don't use medical terms.") 
We are hopeful that this book will enable you

to judge the value of such statements and choose the safe and 
correct procedure in your home.

Have you shrunk from your duty because it seemed to demand 
specialized training? Too long have you been the whipping posts 
of the specialists. Logically, they are likely to say that you no 
longer have the right to bear children. By scathing criticism and 
technical language, the specialists have persuaded many a parent 
to give the child's body entirely to doctors, his mind to 
teachers, his emotions and character to psychiatrists. Such a 
parent will not make a move without consulting a trained person. 
This is foolish because common sense is still one of the best 
ways to approach reality. Specialists certainly have their value 
in helping you to bring up your children. You learn about hygiene 
from a doctor, or you call him in when you meet an insurmountable 
problem like a broken leg. But when your child skins his knee, 
you yourself are a "general practitioner" of medicine. In the 
same way, with the help of this book you can make yourself a 
general practitioner of sex education. You need a specialist only 
for insoluble cases.

Have your own experiences in this matter of sex education puzzled 
you? Do you think you received too little, or too much, sex 
education? Do you feel that the pagan surroundings in which your 
child must live demand special helps which you are not qualified 
to give? This volume will help you form some definite answers to 
these questions.

Lastly, do you fear that your sex instruction might endanger your 
children's chastity instead of protecting it? We hope that these 
pages will give you a confidence which, tempered with caution, 
will fit you to judge what to say and what to do.

To make the best use of the ideas within these covers, we suggest 
that you discuss them with others. We have in mind Parent-
Educator Discussion Clubs, Cana Clubs, Parent-Teacher 
Associations, and similar groups, especially if both men and 
women are included in them. If you do not belong to such a group, 
or cannot form one, at least try to discuss the material with 
your husband or wife.

Discussion is valuable for many reasons. First, it will make you 
familiar with the correct words. If you can clearly and chastely 
express yourself on sex to some adult, you will find it easier to 
express yourself to your children. Second, such discussions will 
create an attitude of calmness and a sensible confidence in your 
own common sense and abilities. Third, discussion will help make 
difficult points clear. If two or more people thrash out the 
meaning of a paragraph, they can more easily avoid 
misunderstanding it. Fourth, the sexes think and feel 
differently. Indeed, the experience of maturing sexually is to 
some extent different for every man and woman. If all pool their 
information, they will understand their boys and girls better and 
will more neatly adapt their helps to the needs of each age and 
sex. Fifth, parents on the same footing in society will find 
common problems arising, for example, problems concerning dating, 
dress, curfew, etc. Common action will be more effective in 
bringing about sensible reforms. And last, discussion in groups 
will convince you that, despite many individual differences, the 
experiences of parents are remarkably similar. Such a conviction 
will relieve you of a number of needless worries.

The questions added at the end of each chapter will facilitate 
discussion. But beware! The questions are not of the usual sort. 
They will not only ask you what you have learned from the 
chapter, but they will also propose problems for solution. 
Sometimes solutions will be suggested and sometimes not. The wish 
is to stimulate your Catholic observation, judgment, and 
reasonable action. Should these questions seem too numerous, 
check those you think most important before you discuss a 
chapter. If several people of your group check the same five or 
six questions, they are the important questions for you.

The length and detail of this book might tempt you to throw up 
your hands in despair because there seems to be so much to 
remember. But in fact there is very little. The book is long 
because there are so many false ideas on sex education to be 
refuted. Once this has been done, and you have absorbed the right 
sane and healthy attitudes, you need memorize only a few facts, a 
few terms, and a few moral principles--four, to be exact. Surely, 
any grade school graduate is capable of understanding and using 
the ideas in these pages.

Though written for parents, and indeed, because written for 
parents, this volume should also be of value for teachers and 
priests. The material contained here will enable them to support 
and help parents in their duty of sex education. The various 
chapters will also aid teachers and priests to find their own 
place when and if it becomes necessary to supplement parental 
work, or perhaps to supply parental omissions. BUT, ABOVE ALL, 
THIS BOOK SHOULD HELP PREVENT THE DISASTROUS ERROR OF TAKING ONE 
MORE PARENTAL FUNCTION OUT OF THE HOME.

That your mind may be at rest concerning the reliability of this 
work, it should be mentioned that it has been subjected to a 
double ecclesiastical censorship, and has received the approval, 
besides, of a wide variety of experts: two Catholic teachers in 
public schools, three lay-religious teachers in Catholic high 
schools, three nuns, all experienced teachers, two doctors, two 
moral theologians, two psychiatrists, a psychiatrist-philosopher, 
a pastor of some twenty-five years' experience, a successful 
counselor of adolescents, three experienced parish missionaries, 
a sociologist of some renown in the field of marriage, and some 
ten married couples with children of various ages. It also has 
the full approbation of the national Confraternity of Christian 
Doctrine.

HENRY V. SATTLER, C.SS.R., Ph.D.

FAMILY LIFE BUREAU, N.C.W.C.
1312 MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE, N.W.
WASHINGTON 5, D. C.



                               TO
                      SAINT MARIA GORETTI
                    Martyred for Her Love of
                      Chastity and Modesty



CHAPTER I: GETTING OUR BEARINGS

There is scarcely a field in which the terms are so unsettled as 
in the field of sex education. For one thing, these terms have 
many shades of meaning, which often vary with the person using 
them. Again, some of the words are long and cumbersome; yet in 
many cases we must use these technical words if we are not to use 
the vulgar words.

The best thing, then, is to begin at the beginning by learning 
the expressions and the meanings we shall need.


SEX

This is a "scare word" in much of modern speech and writing. To 
most people it means the bodily differences between male and 
female and the intense pleasure associated with the organs of 
sex. This latter is called sex pleasure, or venereal pleasure. It 
is unfortunate that the word "sex" has become associated so 
exclusively with the act of sexual union. (Sexual union is the 
act by which children are begotten; also called the marital act, 
marital intercourse, coitus, or sexual relations.) Actually, an 
individual is a member of his sex in every fiber of his being, 
not only in those physical organs by which he differs from the 
other sex. A man is a man, and a woman is a woman, in thinking, 
reasoning, feeling, emotions, and in bodily characteristics. The 
true meaning of sex is this: the God-given character of being 
male or female. The physical differences are an indication of a 
complete difference between the sexes in every sphere, for the 
sexes could not be more different than they are and remain 
members of the human race.

The word "intercourse" has come to signify the act of sexual 
union. When coupled with the word "marital" or "conjugal," 
scarcely any other meaning is accepted by the modern mind. It 
should mean mutual exchange, communication, fellowship. Even 
marital intercourse should mean the whole common life, the give-
and-take of husband and wife in married life, and not merely 
their physical relations.


SEX EDUCATION--SEX INSTRUCTION

If, taken strictly, "sex" means the character of being male or 
female, then "sex education" should mean the education of a boy 
to be a man and of a girl to be a woman. "Sex instruction" should 
mean the imparting of those facts which a man or woman should 
know. As a matter of fact, in popular usage, these phrases do not 
mean that. Even "education" and "instruction" are not definite 
terms. Many people use one for the other, but strictly speaking, 
instruction means imparting knowledge. A boy is instructed in 
history or mathematics. Education means the systematic 
cultivation of all the natural powers of a person. It means not 
only information, but training. A child is educated when he has 
all the information, attitudes, religious and moral training, and 
emotional growth that he should have at his level of development. 
Instruction may stop at any age. Education can and should 
continue for life.

To get down to our topic--what is sex education? As stated above, 
the term should mean the developing of a boy to full manhood and 
of a girl to full womanhood. It is too bad that we cannot use the 
term in that sense, but if we did, we would not be understood. 
For our purpose, then, sex education will mean the full training 
of boys and girls to enable them to meet and solve the problems 
that arise in connection with the instinct of procreation. It 
includes the necessary instruction in the "facts of life," but it 
goes far beyond that. Good sex education includes training in 
attitudes toward this problem, the teaching of religious and 
moral principles, safeguarding the emotional approaches, as well 
as many other, lesser things; all of which will provide a mature 
outlook on the so-called sexual problem.

A boy or girl who knows all the "facts of life" is instructed in 
sex, but is he or she educated? Does the boy or girl know when 
the sexual functions are to be exercised? Do they know what is 
right or wrong concerning sex? Have they learned self-control? 
How does the growing girl feel about motherhood? Does the boy 
look upon the girl merely as a source of physical pleasure, or as 
a future mother, companion and helpmate? The correct answers to 
these and a hundred other questions will indicate whether one is 
educated in this matter. Mere instruction on the "facts of life" 
may take but a few minutes. Sex education takes the whole 
lifetime of the child from its earliest years up to maturity.


CHASTITY

Ultimately, sex education means training in the virtues which 
regulate the sexual appetite. These virtues are chastity and 
modesty. What is chastity? "It is," says Davis, "the moral virtue 
that controls in the married, and altogether excludes in the 
unmarried, all voluntary expression of the appetite for venereal 
pleasure."[1] All voluntary expression, let us repeat, whether in 
thought, desire or act.

Chastity is to be practiced by every human being. Married people 
sometimes think that, since only religious take a "vow of 
chastity," the married cannot possess this virtue. On the 
contrary, there is a law of chastity for married people, 
regulating their use of venereal pleasure, and therefore a virtue 
of chastity that they must practice. Priests and religious bind 
themselves to practice virginal chastity, that is, to avoid all 
voluntary venereal pleasure in thought, desire and action. 
Husbands and wives must practice the chastity of their state; 
that is, they must avoid all acts, desires and thoughts contrary 
to the rights of marriage. For an individual to remain chaste 
throughout life means that he abstains from all willful sexual 
activity while he remains unmarried; and that in marriage he uses 
his sexual functions without sin.

It is common to speak of purity as identical with chastity; and 
though, strictly speaking, we may use the term "purity" in 
reference to other than sexual matters, we shall accept the 
identity here. The vice opposed to chastity, or purity, is called 
unchastity or, more commonly, impurity.


MODESTY

Many people confuse purity or chastity with modesty. There is a 
relation between them, but one is not the other. Modesty is the 
hedge which surrounds and protects chastity. "Modesty is the 
virtue which controls those acts which, though not evil in 
themselves, may induce in oneself or in others an incitement to 
lust or venereal pleasure" (ibid.). For example, an impure 
thought would be the voluntary imagination of oneself enjoying 
illicit venereal pleasure. An immodest thought might be the image 
of the nude form of a person of the other sex. A scanty bathing 
suit would be immodest dress; it could not rightly be called 
impure. A caress could be an immodest action because it might 
cause impure feelings. Fornication (sexual intercourse between 
unmarried persons) or masturbation (indulging in complete sexual 
pleasure alone) are impure, or unchaste, acts.

Both chastity and modesty come under the Sixth and Ninth 
Commandments. Deliberate unchaste acts are always mortal sins. 
Immodest acts may be mortal, venial, or no sin at all.[2]

These distinctions will be fully clarified in our treatment of 
the moral principles concerning sex (Chapters VII and VIII).


INNOCENCE--IGNORANCE

A young child is both ignorant and innocent of many things. He is 
ignorant of these things because he lacks knowledge of them. He 
is innocent because he is free from the taint of evil or personal 
sin. In its strictest sense, innocence means freedom from the 
personal experience of evil or sin. Now, a child may be ignorant 
of many things in the sexual sphere and yet be far from innocent. 
He may not know all the purposes of his body, yet he may have 
contracted an evil habit which he knows is sinful; for example, 
masturbation. On the other hand, he may be far from ignorant and 
yet innocent. He may know the essential "facts of life" and still 
remain pure.

Though ignorance of many facts may help in early life to 
safeguard a child's innocence, after a certain time ignorance is, 
if anything, a danger to his innocence. For example, if at the 
end of grade school a boy were still ignorant of the holy purpose 
of his sexual organs, his innocence would certainly be 
endangered. Such a boy might be led into evil habits without 
realizing it until they became almost too strong to be overcome. 
Therefore a child should not be kept ignorant of a reasonable 
amount of sex knowledge in accordance with his age. This 
knowledge is good and concerns a good thing, because sexual 
things are good; indeed, they are holy, since they are created by 
God.

On the other hand, it may be said in general that a child should 
be ignorant of evil as long as is reasonably possible. We mean by 
this that he should not have even a theoretical knowledge of 
sexual sins until such knowledge is needful for him. St. Thomas 
warns us that too much consideration of vile things distracts us 
from good thoughts, and because of our fallen human nature, 
thoughts of evil may captivate our wills.[3] Despite this danger, 
however, some theoretical knowledge of evil is progressively 
necessary exactly in order that a growing youth, by building up 
his defenses against evil, may maintain his innocence.

This discussion about innocence and two kinds of ignorance can 
best be illustrated from the story of the Annunciation (Luke 
1:26-38). Our Blessed Lady was certainly innocent of all sin. 
Probably, she was also ignorant of sexual crimes and abuses. 
Nevertheless, her understanding of the angel's message, and her 
question--"How shall this happen, since I do not know man?"--show 
that she knew the ordinary sexual facts of procreation, 
conception and birth. According to tradition, at the time of the 
Annunciation Our Lady was between fourteen and sixteen years of 
age.


KNOWING WORDS AND IGNORANCE

We must not confuse knowledge of certain sexual words with 
genuine knowledge. Many children can use very "knowing" terms 
which nevertheless cloak a startling ignorance. Sometimes a child 
will speak knowingly, but only in order to learn more without 
asking a direct question. Parents must learn to judge what is 
behind such words. They are the only ones who can. Adolescents 
are anxious never to admit to their companions that they are in 
the dark on the subject of sex. Some even pretend to a lack of 
innocence; it is considered "smart" to lay claim to great sins in 
this regard. This makes it very difficult for the inquiring 
adolescent to know what is right and good. Therefore, parents 
must be extremely watchful and intelligent in guiding them.


SEX EDUCATION AS PART OF GENERAL EDUCATION

The modern world has an odd approach to life. So many people live 
their lives in compartments. They speak of religious life, home 
life, business life, and even sex life, as if these various 
spheres were boxed-off areas of activity without relationship to 
one another. To many, religion has come to mean going to church 
on Sunday, and nothing more. How often have you heard it said 
that religion has no place in politics, no place in business? 
Again, medicine has been largely divorced from morality. Law has 
become impersonal and often takes little account of human 
factors. Sex has become a department of life, a series of 
personal experiments cut off from everything else, at times not 
even connected with marriage. Very few people have really tried 
to integrate their living into a unified pattern.

Many an educator has accepted this error. He is like a chemist 
before his row of bottles. He uses, let us say, two drops of 
mathematics, three of history, three of geography, two of 
English, one drop of religion, and three drops of sex 
instruction. No wonder the mixture at times becomes explosive! 
There is no plan or order in such education; no unity, in which 
every part of life has its proper relation to every other part.

This holds above all for sex education. Sex is not a special 
subject to be taught at a special place or at a special time. It 
is true that in this book we are making a study of this one side 
of life. But that is for the instruction of parents and teachers. 
We must warn against the temptation to try to teach "sex" as a 
particular "branch of knowledge" to a child. Such an effort could 
well be disastrous. It cannot be repeated too often that mature 
education on sexual matters is only one fiber in the fabric of 
life.

If sex education is made an isolated process, we shall never 
succeed in educating the child to a chaste life. The reason is 
simple. There is scarcely a stronger impulse in human beings than 
the sexual impulse. Our fallen nature, under the curse of 
original sin, tends downward; and children, besides, have the 
weakness of childhood. If sex is singled out for separate study 
by a child, his attention is focused, without any sort of 
protective balance, upon his most passionate impulses. The result 
can only be unwholesome curiosity, dangerous imaginings, 
passionate stirrings, and ultimately, complete loss of self-
control. Therefore, though we are concentrating on the principles 
of sex education in this book, IN THE ACTUAL INSTRUCTION OF 
CHILDREN THESE PRINCIPLES MUST NOT BE SEPARATED FROM THE 
PRINCIPLES COVERING THEIR TRAINING IN GENERAL.



THE PURPOSE OF SEX EDUCATION

The purpose of Christian sex education is to train to chaste 
living. This involves two important aims which Christian parents 
must constantly keep in mind:

1. Children must be taught how to be absolutely virginal until 
marriage, or for life if their vocation is to the celibate 
state.[4]

2. Children must be educated in such a way that they may properly 
and chastely exercise their powers of procreation if and when 
they marry.

These two aims of sex education are not contradictory; in fact, 
they are the two halves of the only proper kind of sex education. 
The best preparation for a chaste marriage is a chaste unmarried 
life. Yet any teaching that makes the child unfit for either 
state is wrong. If a prudish or shamefaced or what may be called 
a "dirty" approach is used on (or permitted to be adopted by) the 
child, then marriage will be degraded and the child will not grow 
up to become a fit husband or wife, father or mother. If an open, 
brash, "I-tell-my-child-everything" attitude is adopted, then the 
child may be endangered in his premarital or lifetime purity.


AVOIDING EXTREMES

As you read this book, you will again and again meet problems 
which might be approached from either of two completely opposite 
attitudes. A common-sense, middle course will invariably be the 
proper approach. The teaching of the Catholic Church never 
satisfies the extremists.

In her doctrines on property and labor, she is attacked by both 
Communists and extreme capitalists. In matters of sex and 
chastity she does not satisfy the fleshly who want all knowledge 
to be imparted from the beginning, because she is mindful of the 
spirit and of man's fallen nature. She does not satisfy the 
puritans who believe in ignoring the subject, because she knows 
that the body is good and holy. She remembers that man is not all 
soul nor all body; that the two elements are essentially united 
to make up his being.

A sensible middle course is necessary for instructions on modesty 
of dress and of the eyes, for the proper attitude toward romantic 
love, for training the emotions, and for a hundred other things. 
In your own doubts, always try to steer a middle course. If you 
are in this middle path between extremes, you are usually in the 
right.


REALISM

Today realism is often taken to mean emphasis on the brutal, 
harsh, disgusting things of life. The term "realistic" is applied 
to a novel if it describes vulgar (and usually sexual) affairs. 
This is false realism. On the other hand, there is a false 
romanticism or idealism that refuses to face certain realities at 
all. In sex education, both false realism and false romanticism 
are to be condemned. The only sane approach is to be found in 
true and forthright realism, which faces the fact that there are 
both good and evil in life and that every human being should 
recognize them both and be able to do something about them.

Realism does not consist in ignoring the pageant of suffering.... 
Nor does it consist in merely noting it with however artistic or 
journalistic an eye for the grimmest and most revolting details. 
Realism consists in accepting personal responsibility as the only 
realistic way of setting out to do something about it.[5]

Thus we must see and judge life as it is--a mixture of the bright 
and the dark, of the happy and the sad, of the laborious and the 
pleasurable, full of temptations to be faced and of victories to 
be won.

In sex matters, it is not realistic to ignore the facts of 
temptation, sin, or even perversion, nor to gloss them over as if 
there were no such things. Nor is it realistic to make the bad 
seem good or the good bad. It is realistic only to recognize both 
evil and good and to realize one's responsibilities.

You who are parents must be realistic with your children. Your 
child is capable of both evil and good. He has the same sexual 
temptations, the same problems, the same chances for victory, 
that you had and that all children have. He or she can sin! Teach 
your children to be realistic. Teach them that there is both pain 
and pleasure in life; that life is a struggle, but a worthwhile 
struggle; that sex presents problems that must be met and solved; 
that marriage is an adventure, a test, a challenge to manhood and 
womanhood. In other words, your children must be taught to face 
both good and bad in life without allowing either to absorb all 
their attention. One who has eyes for only the good or the bad, 
for only the romance or only the trials, is unprepared for life 
as it is. Neurotics are those who cannot face the real order of 
things, which includes both the pleasant and the unpleasant. We 
do not mean that the child's natural romanticism should be 
stifled; but the child should be made aware of the difficulties 
it will have to face in life


QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION AIDS

1. Does the word "sex" refer only to the organs which distinguish 
the male and female body? What is sex in its wide, general 
meaning? Use these words correctly in sentences expressing some 
phase of sexual information: procreation, venereal, relations, 
intercourse, marital, male, female, coitus. How many of these 
words can you use in sentences not applying to venereal acts? 
(You should be able to use all but three; in doubt, consult a 
dictionary.)

2. What is the difference between instruction and education? In 
your youth, were you well educated in chastity? Could you have 
been instructed without being educated, or educated without being 
instructed?

Will the meaning of "sex" and "education" make any difference 
when you discuss the problem of "sex education in the schools" 
with non-Catholics? Suppose that, to them, sex education means 
teaching physiology and facts about venereal disease? Suppose it 
means what you mean, would it make any difference in your 
argument?

4. What is chastity? Modesty? What is the difference between 
them? Is there any connection between them? Would you say that 
current forms of immodesty in dress cause impurity? As a married 
person, would you take the view that people become accustomed to 
what they see and hear in this matter, so that it no longer 
affects them? Does that hold for adolescents?

5. What is the difference between innocence and ignorance?

6. Why is too much knowledge of sin dangerous? Does this give you 
any twinge of conscience concerning the types of newspapers and 
magazines in your home?

7. Have you ever met the kind of person who boasts about evil 
things seen or done even though he may never have had these 
experiences at all? Do not adolescents frequently pretend to know 
all about sex, when they are actually trying to find out? Do you 
take for granted that a child who uses knowing terms concerning 
sex really knows what he is talking about?

8. What is the dual purpose of Christian sex education? Can good 
sex education ever be made a separate branch of study? Give 
reasons for your answers.

9. What constitutes a realistic approach to the problems of life? 
If it views both good and bad, what other element is part of a 
realistic approach? (Recognition and acceptance of 
responsibility.) Recent wars have shown us three kinds of 
soldiers. The first kind enlisted with exaggerated and glowing 
imaginings of the glory and romance of saving their country. The 
second kind thought only of the sorrow of leaving home and the 
danger of being wounded or killed. In general, both these types 
made poor soldiers, and many of them ended in hospital wards for 
neurotics. The good soldier was the man who, while not ignoring 
the possible glory involved, knew that war is a messy business, 
but who recognized his duty and was determined to do it well. 
What are three similar approaches to marriage; to parenthood?


TRUE OR FALSE?

1. A child can be ignorant and not innocent.

2. A child can be innocent and not ignorant.

3. As far as possible, a young child should be ignorant of sexual 
sin and crime.

4. A child should be ignorant of all sexual facts.

5. Chastity and modesty are two words for the same thing.

6. A married person can never be chaste.

7. A person living an active married life is not virginal.

8. Immodesty is always a mortal sin.

9. Sex education should be taught as study.

10. Sex education should be woven into the child's general 
education.

11. A policy of complete silence is the correct approach to sex 
education.

12. A policy of complete frankness is the best approach to sex 
education.

13. Realism means being concerned chiefly with evil in life.

Answers: 1--T, 2--T, 3--T, 4--F, 5--F, 6--F, 7--T, 8--F, 9--F, 
10--T, 11--F, 12--F, 13--F.



ENDNOTES

1. Davis, Henry, S.J., "Moral and Pastoral Theology" (Sheed and 
Ward, New York), 11, p. 172. Here and elsewhere this work is 
quoted with Permission of the Publisher.

2. Taken strictly, only an act which is judged to be sinful is 
immodest. An act which is usually immodest, but which might be 
justified in certain circumstances, is not in those circumstances 
against modesty.

3. Cf. Summa Theologica, II-II, q. 81, a. 8; q. 82. a. 3, ad 1.

4. Celibacy is the state of being unmarried. Virginity is the 
intentional achievement of abstaining from voluntary venereal 
pleasure. This achievement may be for a time, for example, until 
marriage, or for life in which case it is called perfect 
virginity. Cf. Aertnys, J.-Damen, C. A. "Theologia Moralis" 
(Marietti, Turin, 1950), 1, ## 594-595.

5. Luce, Clare Boothe, "The Real Reason," in "McCall's Magazine" 
February, 1947, p. 117. Quoted with permission of the publisher.



CHAPTER II: THE CHURCH AND SEX EDUCATION

Exactly what is the attitude of the Church on sex education? Many 
people, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, say that the Church 
favors dark ignorance. Others, though they know that this is 
false, wonder that the Church has not come out with more definite 
statements on the matter. The dissatisfaction of both sides is 
due to our American tendency to see things only in black or 
white. Most Americans rarely make distinctions; they are either 
for or against a program 100 percent. The Church, on the other 
hand, is more cautious and examines a program from all sides, and 
then approves or disapproves with qualifications. The truth of 
the matter is that the Catholic Church is against the wrong kind 
of sex education. Toward wholesome sex education she is not 
merely neutral, she strongly approves! To make this clear, we 
must glance briefly at some papal pronouncements. We will 
consider the condemnations of false sex education first, and then 
go on to consider the approval of correct chastity education.


CONDEMNATIONS

Pope Pius XI, in his encyclical "On the Christian Education of 
Youth," says:

"Another very grave danger is that naturalism which nowadays 
invades the field of education in that most delicate matter of 
purity of morals. Far too common is the error of those who with 
dangerous assurance and under an ugly term propagate a so-called 
sex education, falsely imagining they can forearm youths against 
the dangers of sensuality by means purely natural, such as a 
foolhardy initiation and precautionary instruction for all 
indiscriminately, even in public; and worse still, by exposing 
them at an early age to the occasions in order to accustom them, 
so it is argued, and as it were to harden them against such 
dangers....

"In this extremely delicate matter, if, all things considered, 
some private instruction is found necessary and opportune, from 
those who hold from God the commission to teach and who have the 
grace of state, every precaution must be taken."[1]

Here Pius XI is not condemning sex education but means purely 
natural" (and hence not all natural means); "foolhardy 
initiation"; initiation which is "indiscriminate," that is, not 
adapted to the needs of the individual and of each sex. He points 
out that initiation and precautionary instruction (not proper 
education) are worse if given "even in public." He condemns any 
effort to harden children by exposing them to temptation. There 
is a vast difference between condemning such false education and 
condemning all sex education.[2]

Many modern educators still believe, as the Pope points out, that 
such false education can prevent sin. They maintain that full 
knowledge and frequent association with temptation will dull the 
inclination to evil. Experience abundantly proves that this is 
not so.

Pope Pius XI also condemns some of the modern forms of 
preparation for marriage in his encyclical "On Christian 
Marriage":

". . . Such wholesome instruction and religious training in 
regard to Christian marriage will be quite different from that 
exaggerated physiological education by means of which, in these 
times of ours, some reformers of married life make pretense of 
helping those joined in wedlock, laying much stress on these 
physiological matters, in which is learned rather the art of 
sinning in a subtle way than the virtue of living chastely."

Here he condemns exaggerated physiological education, not all 
physiological education for the married.

There is one statement of Pius XI above all others that many 
persons misinterpret:

"Hence it is of the highest importance that a good father, while 
discussing with his son a matter so delicate, be well on his 
guard and not descend to details, nor refer to the various ways 
in which this infernal hydra destroys with its poison so large a 
portion of the world; otherwise it may happen that instead of 
extinguishing this fire, he unwittingly stirs or kindles it in 
the simple and tender heart of the child ("On the Christian 
Education of Youth")."

Some have thought that this forbids the instructor to give the 
child any physiological information, or to tell him in what the 
marital act consists. This is not true. Parents should avoid 
telling the child about the different sins that can be committed 
against sexual morality and about the circumstances and details 
of the marriage act. Nevertheless, "explicit and clear 
information about the essential character of marital intercourse 
is not a detail but the very substance of what the parent is 
setting out to give. The details which the parent is advised to 
avoid . . . refer to the circumstances accompanying the action."[3]

Therefore the instructor of children must avoid telling the child 
1) about all possible sins of impurity, and 2) about all the 
attendant details or the exact method of performing the marriage 
act, until such information is necessary. However, at the proper 
time he may tell the child the precise nature of the marriage 
act.[4]


THE CHURCH IN FAVOR OF EDUCATION FOR CHASTITY

What has the Catholic Church to say in favor of sex education?

1. Pope Pius XI says that such education must be integrated into 
the education of the whole person, a person raised to the 
supernatural level:

"In fact it must never be forgotten that the subject of Christian 
education is man whole and entire, soul united to body in unity 
of nature, with all his faculties, natural and supernatural, such 
as right reason and revelation show him to be; man, therefore, 
fallen from his original estate, but redeemed by Christ and 
restored to the supernatural condition of adopted son of God, 
though without the preternatural privileges of bodily immortality 
or perfect control of appetite. There remain therefore in human 
nature the effects of original sin, the chief of which are 
weakness of will and disorderly inclinations.... Hence every form 
of pedagogic naturalism which in any way excludes or weakens 
supernatural Christian formation in the teaching of youth, is 
false" ("On the Christian Education of Youth").

2. The Church gives an outline of Christian education to 
chastity:

"Accordingly special care is to be paid to the complete, solid, 
and continuous religious instruction of the youth of both sexes; 
awakening in them a high regard and desire for, and a love of, 
the angelical virtue; teaching them as a matter of supreme 
importance to be persevering in prayer, to make assiduous use of 
the Sacraments of Penance and the Holy Eucharist, to honor the 
holy purity of the Blessed Virgin Mother with filial devotion, 
and to commit themselves unreservedly to her protection, teaching 
them moreover carefully to avoid dangerous reading, indecent 
scenic performances, wrong conversations and all other occasions 
of sin. Consequently, works which have recently been written and 
published, even by certain Catholic authors, advocating a new 
method of procedure, are in no wise to be approved."[5]

This statement of the Holy Office does not exclude proper sex 
information, but it insists on the absolutely necessary 
supernatural basis of Christian education in the matter of 
purity, together with a realistic approach to original and 
personal sin and the dangerous occasions of sin.[6]

3. Finally, Pope Pius XII, carefully watching over the families 
of the world, and mindful of the excessive concern with sex 
education among modern parents, addressed this clear and 
magnificent statement to the Women of Catholic Action, 
representing all the dioceses of Italy, on the feast of Christ 
the King, October 26, 1941. Here you will find both a 
justification and an outline of Christian chastity education 
(subtitles ours):

Hygiene and Morality: 

"Many of the moral characteristics which see in the youth or the 
man owe their origin to the manner and circumstances of his first 
upbringing in infancy: purely organic habits contracted at that 
time may later prove a serious obstacle to the spiritual life of 
the soul. And so you will make it your special care in the 
treatment of your child to observe the prescriptions of a perfect 
hygiene, so that when it comes to the use of reason its bodily 
organs and faculties will be healthy and robust and free from 
distorted tendencies."

Education to Self-Control:

". . . From that early age a loving look, a warning word, must 
teach the child not to yield to all its impressions, and as 
reason dawns, it must learn to discriminate and to master the 
vagaries of its sensations; in a word, under the guidance and 
admonition of the mother it must begin the work of its own 
education."

Understanding and Reasoned Discipline:

"Study the child in his tender age. If you know him well you will 
educate him well; you will not misconceive his character; you 
will come to understand him, knowing when to give way and when to 
be firm; a naturally good disposition does not fall to the lot of 
all the sons of men."

Truth:

"Train the minds of your children. Do not give them wrong ideas 
or wrong reasons for things: whatever their questions may be, do 
not answer them with evasions or untrue statements, which their 
minds rarely accept, but take occasion from them lovingly and 
patiently to train their minds, which want only to open to the 
truth and to grasp it with the first ingenuous gropings of their 
reasoning and reflective powers...."

Adolescence and Sexual Stirring
Modesty: of Dress, of Action, of Eyes
Watchfulness
Companions
Love of Purity
Gaining Confidence
Anticipating Questions
Parents and Sex Information
Reverence
Less Danger
Evil Sources

". . . But the day will come when the childish heart will feel 
new impulses stirring within it; new desires will disturb the 
serenity of those early years. In that time of trial, Christian 
mothers, remember that to train the heart means to train the will 
to resist the attacks of evil and the insidious temptations of 
passion; during that period of transition from the unconscious 
purity of infancy to the triumphant purity of adolescence you 
have a task of the highest importance to fulfill. You have to 
prepare your sons and daughters so that they may pass with 
unfaltering step, like those who pick their way among serpents, 
through that time of crisis and physical change; and pass through 
it without losing anything of the joy of innocence, preserving 
intact that natural instinct of modesty with which Providence has 
girt them as a check upon wayward passions. That sense of 
modesty, which in its spontaneous abhorrence from the impure is 
akin to the sense of religion, is made of little account in these 
days; but you, mothers, will take care that they do not lose it 
through indecency in dress or self-adornment, through unbecoming 
familiarities or immoral spectacles; on the contrary you will 
seek to make it more delicate and alert, more up right and 
sincere. You will keep a watchful eye on their steps; you will 
not suffer the whiteness of their souls to be stained and 
contaminated by corrupt and corrupting company; you will inspire 
them with a high esteem and jealous love for purity, advising 
them to commend themselves to the sure and motherly protection of 
the Immaculate Virgin. Finally, with the discretion of a mother 
and a teacher, and thanks to the openhearted confidence with 
which you have been able to inspire your children, you will not 
fail to watch for and to discern the moment in which certain 
unspoken questions have occurred to their minds and are troubling 
their senses. It will then be your duty to your daughters, the 
father's duty to your sons, carefully and delicately to unveil 
the truth as far as it appears necessary; to give a prudent, true 
and Christian answer to those questions, and set their minds at 
rest. If imparted by the lips of Christian parents at the proper 
time, in the proper measure, and with the proper precautions, the 
revelation of the mysterious and marvelous laws of life will be 
received by them with reverence and gratitude, and will enlighten 
their minds with far less danger than if they learned them 
haphazard, from some unpleasant shock, from secret conversations, 
through information received from over-sophisticated companions, 
or from clandestine reading, the more dangerous and pernicious as 
secrecy inflames the imagination and troubles the senses. Your 
words if they are wise and discreet, will prove a safeguard and a 
warning in the midst of the temptations and the corruption which 
surround them, 'because foreseen an arrow comes more slowly.'"[7]

We have presented this statement almost in its entirety in order 
to convince parents of the stand of the Church on sex education 
of the right kind. Pius XII talks about hygiene, organic habits 
in infancy, education in modesty, answering questions truthfully, 
even anticipating questions, and forestalling smutty information 
on the matter of purity. This quotation is really an outline of 
the book you are reading. Study it carefully.

A later statement of Pope Pius XII bears on these matters also. 
On July 24, 1949, the Pope addressed the women of Italian 
Catholic Action on matters concerning the Family and Youth. Among 
other worthwhile things he stressed this admonition: "Educate 
youth in purity. Help youth when an explaining word of advice and 
guidance is necessary. Do not forget that a good education must 
embrace the whole of life and in this sphere especially the habit 
of self-control is the best formation."[8]

Finally, a very recent address of the Pope to a group of French 
fathers concerned this same subject, of chastity education. In 
the wide publicity accorded this talk by both the Catholic and 
the secular press, the impression was given that His Holiness was 
attacking any and all such education. Of course this was not the 
case. The Holy Father's statements were so forceful that we feel 
it an obligation to record them, at least in part (italics ours):

". . . No attempt to influence public opinion ought to be either 
disdained or neglected.

"There is one field in which this education of public opinion, 
and its correction, has become necessary with tragic urgency. In 
this field public opinion has been perverted by propaganda that 
one would not hesitate to call deadly, despite the fact that it 
comes this time from Catholic sources and seeks to influence 
Catholics, and even though those who disseminate it do not appear 
to suspect that they are unknowingly deluded by the spirit of 
evil.

"We are speaking here of the writings, books and articles 
touching on sexual instruction which today often achieve enormous 
sales and flood the whole world, engulfing children, submerging 
the rising generation, and disturbing engaged and newly married 
couples.

"With all the seriousness, attention and dignity the subject 
requires, the Church has dealt with the question of instruction 
in this matter to the extent counseled or demanded by the normal 
physical and psychological development of the adolescent and by 
individual cases arising from varying special circumstances....

"This propaganda [of sex education] still threatens Catholics 
with a double scourge, not to use a stronger term. In the first 
place, it exaggerates beyond all measure the importance and scope 
of the sexual element in life. Let us grant that these authors, 
from a purely theoretical point of view, still remain within the 
limits of Catholic morality; it is nonetheless true that their 
manner of explaining sexual life is of such a nature as to give 
it, in the mind of the average reader and in his practical 
judgment, the meaning and value of an end in itself. It makes him 
lose sight of the true original end of marriage, which is the 
procreation and education of children, and of the grave duty of 
married persons toward this end, which the writings about which 
we are speaking leave too much in the shade.

"Secondly, this so-called literature seems to take no account of 
the general experience of yesterday, today and always, an 
experience founded on nature which proves that, in moral training 
neither instruction nor initiation offers any advantage of 
itself. On the contrary, it is seriously unhealthy and 
prejudicial unless closely bound to constant discipline, vigorous 
mastery of oneself, and above all, the use of supernatural 
forces--prayer and the Sacraments. All Catholic teachers worthy 
of their name and mission are well aware of the preponderant role 
of supernatural forces in the sanctification of man, be he young 
or old, bachelor or married. Of these supernatural forces 
scarcely a word is whispered in the literature of which we speak: 
they are usually passed over in silence.

"The very principles of sexual education and questions related to 
it, which were so wisely brought forth by Our predecessor Pius XI 
in his encyclical "Divini Illius Magistri," are swept aside--sad 
sign of the times--with a wave of the hand or with a smile. Pius 
XI, they say, wrote that twenty years ago for his times. We have 
gone ahead since then."[9]


We have no way of knowing which works Pius XII was referring to 
in this address. We may presume he had in mind especially some 
writings in French, since he was speaking to French parents. We 
can be sure, however, by careful evaluation of his statements 
that the Pope refers to works: (1) which are written by 
Catholics; (2) which make of sexual activity an end itself,  or 
which leave in the shade the nature of marriage and its purpose; 
(3) which do not show proper understanding of the necessity of 
strong self-discipline, and of frequentation of the Sacraments; 
and (4) which ignore Pope Pius XI's directions in the encyclical 
we have already quoted under its English title, "On the Christian 
Education of Youth."

The careless reader might infer that His Holiness is attacking 
all information concerning the nature of the facts of life. This 
is not so. He tells us that the Church has dealt with such 
instruction so far as it is needed by the physical and 
psychological development of the adolescent, or demanded by 
special individual circumstances. The preceding quotations in 
this chapter bear this out in the Pope's own words. True, he says 
that initiation is of no avail in itself, and that it can be 
harmful; but he adds a strong "unless"--"unless closely bound to 
constant discipline, etc."

The author humbly submits to the reader that the present work 
does not fall under the papal strictures.

This book does not exaggerate the importance of sex in life; on 
the contrary, it insists that sex is but one fiber in the total 
human personality. Sexuality is not treated as an end in itself. 
Constantly these pages repeat: "Sexual actions are sacred to the 
married state"; and insist on the vocation of marriage and 
parenthood with which sex is inextricably bound up. Above all, 
the pitfall of naturalism has been avoided. Throughout have been 
stressed the practices of Christian character-building, self-
restraint, asceticism, and the frequentation of the Sacraments. 
The four chapters on religious and moral formation outweigh the 
physical and psychological chapters in both length and 
exhaustiveness of treatment; moreover, these four chapters supply 
the real outline, or "frame of reference," of the entire book. 
Lastly, the directions of Pope Pius XI have been enshrined in the 
very first paragraphs of the present chapter.

As you read through the remainder of this book, please refer back 
constantly to these papal pronouncements, so that you too will 
avoid the errors and excesses against which His Holiness issues 
so grave a warning. 

There are many more interesting and helpful statements available, 
but enough have been given to represent the Church's position on 
this matter. From here on every word of this book will be 
directed toward explaining the principles of sex education and 
their application to practical problems.


QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION AIDS

1. Does the Church condemn sex education? Your answer should 
start: "It depends on what you mean by sex education...."

2. Can you list any dangers in the approach through means "purely 
natural"? through "precautionary instruction for all 
indiscriminately, even in public"? Does this forbid all 
precautionary instruction? Will exposure to temptation harden 
people to it?

3. Who are "those who hold the commission from God to teach and 
have the grace of state"? (Save your answer for future reference 
in Chapter III.)

4. Is every kind of physiological instruction forbidden to 
married persons or persons about to be married? What kind is 
condemned?

5. What two things are forbidden by the statement of the Pope 
that the parent "should. . . not descend to details, nor refer to 
the various ways this infernal hydra destroys. . . so large a 
portion of the world"?

6. Why is the Church so anxious for the use of positive 
supernatural helps and a positive approach to purity?

7. Pick out the sentences and phrases which seem most important 
in the statement of Pope Pius XII to mothers. Discuss them.

8. Why is the Pope's statement so valuable? (Consider the grace 
given to him as head of the Church, his concern for the good of 
all; his expert advisers, etc.)



ENDNOTES

1. Here and elsewhere in this book the encyclicals "On The 
Christian Education of Youth" and "On Christian Marriage," and 
other pronouncements of Pope Pius XI, as well as those of the 
present Pontiff, are cited in the official N.C.W.C. translations, 
with the permission of the publisher.

2. For a fuller interpretation of these passages cf. Kirsch, 
Felix M., O.F.M. Cap., "Sex Education and Training in Chastity" 
(Benziger Brothers, New York, 1930), pp. xvi-xx.

3. Mahoney, Canon E. J., in the "Clergy Review," London, March 
1947 (XXVII) p. 194. Quoted with permission of the publisher.

4. Those who are interested in the scientific analysis of 
official statements may wish to consult: King, J. Leycester, S. 
J., "Sex Enlightenment and The Catholic" (Burns Oates and 
Washbourne, London, 1945); also the "Ecclesiastical Review," 
June, 1931 (LXXXIV), p. 601, and October 1931 (LXXXV), pp. 392-
395; and the "Clergy Review," March, 1947 (XXVII), pp. 193-194.

5. Decree of the Holy Office, March 21, 1931 (privately 
translated). 

6. Cf. comment in "Periodica," 1931, pp. 243-244.

7. Translation entitled "Guiding Christ's Little Ones" (N.C.W.C., 
Washington, D.C., 1942).

8. "Catholic Action," September, 1949, p. 20. This and all 
N.C.W.C. material is quoted with permission of the publisher.

9. N.C.W.C. News Service Release, September 28, 1951.



CHAPTER III: WHOSE DUTY IS SEX EDUCATION?


INSTRUCTION AND EDUCATION IN SEX MATTERS MUST BE GIVEN BY PARENTS 
OR THEIR DELEGATES

The parents have the primary right and the duty to educate their 
children. Since, as we have shown, sex education is merely a part 
of general education, the primary right and duty of parents 
extends also to sex education.

Pope Pius XI states, in the encyclical "On the Christian 
Education of Youth":

"The family therefore holds directly from the Creator the mission 
and hence the right to educate the offspring, a right inalienable 
because inseparably joined to the strict obligation, a right 
anterior to any right whatever of civil society and of the State, 
and therefore inviolable on the part of any power on earth....

The wisdom of the Church in this matter is expressed with 
precision and clearness in the Code of Canon Law, Canon 1113: 
'Parents are under a grave obligation to see to the religious and 
moral education of their children, as well as to their physical 
and civil training, as far as they can....'"


PARENTS HAVE THE SERIOUS OBLIGATION IN CONSCIENCE TO GIVE THE 
NECESSARY SEX INSTRUCTION AND EDUCATION

Parents above all others have the commission from God to teach 
children. They also have the special graces of their state. One 
of the graces they receive with the Sacrament of Matrimony is the 
supernatural help to educate their children. If parents feel that 
they are not prepared to meet their obligations in the matter of 
sex education, it is their duty to prepare themselves. The author 
has yet to meet the father or mother who could not supply their 
children's needs if they made an effort. A great deal of 
schooling is not necessary, though it may be helpful. The 
requirements are a small but correct vocabulary, a sensible and 
Christian attitude, and an understanding of principles and of 
children. Pope Pius XII is very explicit on the duty of parents 
to be educators, and on their duty to prepare themselves for this 
task:

"We need not delay to remind you how important and how necessary 
is this work of education in the home, and how grave a mother's 
obligation not to neglect it or perform it with indifference.... 
This obligation [is] the first of their duties as Christian 
mothers, and . . . a task in which none can fully take their 
place. But it is not enough to be conscious of an obligation and 
to have the desire to discharge it; it is necessary also to 
render oneself capable of discharging it competently.[1]

Some parents shirk the duty of chastity education for one of two 
reasons. They do not know the correct words to use, or they feel 
such an emotional disturbance over the subject that they cannot 
bring themselves to talk to their children about it.[2]

Few technical words are required--fewer by far than are included 
in this study. Wrong attitudes are more difficult to correct, but 
they can be overcome with effort. As a matter of fact, however, 
parents are educating their children whether they intend to or 
not. Children imbibe their parents' attitudes toward politics, 
race relations, honesty, patriotism, and so on. Attitudes on sex 
are no exception to this generally acknowledged fact. The minds, 
attitudes, and moral habits of children are plastic. They can be 
shaped in almost the same way as wax is shaped in molds. If the 
mold supplied in the home is good, their formation will be good. 
But if parents have no definite ideas on this matter, no definite 
mold to give, their children will be shaped poorly. Positive 
education forms the child; negative education allows the child to 
be formed by someone else. Therefore, either your child will 
adopt your attitude (whether of shamefaced silence, brash 
frankness, or wholesome reverence) or he will go elsewhere for 
his formation. He may receive it from playmates, random (and 
often evil) reading, older meddlers, movies, etc. And what he 
does not learn from these sources he may learn from actual 
experimentation.

One sometimes hears parents say: "My children do not need any 
instruction from me. They learn all they need to know from the 
movies, newspapers, magazines, advertisements, etc." This do-
nothing attitude is disastrous. Even if children did learn the 
important facts of life from such sources, are they wholesome 
sources? It is not so much the learning of the physiological 
facts that matters, but rather the children's attitudes and 
judgments on these facts.

It is our opinion, however, that children and adolescents do not 
get correct information even from these sources. They are merely 
inspired to try to find out what is behind the things that seem 
to tell them so much. Their curiosity is stirred. Their appetites 
begin to trouble them even though they do not know what it is all 
about. They observe that near-nudity is common; that immodesty in 
dress is widely held to be necessary for "glamour" and 
popularity; they come to think that love consists in mere bodily 
attraction and emotional romance. Some adolescents start to 
practice the love-making techniques they see on the screen. The 
very fact that children are faced with all these influences makes 
it imperative that parents engage in positive education on all 
phases of chastity and modesty.

There are two things, above all others, which parents must do in 
the face of the pagan atmosphere in which their children live. 
First, they must constantly observe and judge the influences that 
affect their children. If they do not, they will find themselves 
adopting some of the world's false attitudes. The eminent 
philosopher Dr. Yves Simon expresses the opinion that the 
constant impact of propaganda and advertising on uncritical minds 
acts like a blackjack. After a time, such propaganda can make men 
slaves more effectively than the lash.[3] Second, parents must 
gradually teach their children to judge these influences. This 
does not mean that parents should at once point out to their 
children all the evils in the world, for this might stir up 
passion unnecessarily. At first, their teaching should be of such 
a kind that the child will apply it unconsciously to what he sees 
and hears. Then, in later adolescence, boys and girls may well be 
taught to pass accurate and explicit judgments on these 
influences.

As a last incentive for parents to assume this important task, 
let them consider the following facts. In a study of 2,000 
Catholic boys in Catholic high schools (and therefore presumably 
under the best possible influence), it was found that unwholesome 
sources of sex information outnumbered wholesome sources three to 
one. When brought to bear, many of the wholesome sources were as 
much as six years too late.[4] These figures are conservative. 
Other authors put the unwholesome sources much higher. There can 
be no doubt, then, that the chastity of children depends on the 
education given them by their parents. This education is a 
serious and primary obligation of parents.


DELEGATES

It may happen that parents are not equipped to give the proper 
instruction in sex, and that before they can prepare themselves 
to do so, some such instruction is needed by their children. In 
such a case, the parents must choose a substitute or delegate. 
They may choose a priest or nun, the family doctor, a nurse, a 
relative who is qualified, a school teacher. These substitutes 
cannot completely supply for the parents in sex education, though 
they may supply for one or the other sex instruction (for 
example, at the age of 12 or 14). After all, the parent knows the 
child better than anyone else, and has a continuous contact with 
him.

Besides, each of the delegates listed suffers under several 
disadvantages. The doctor or nurse tends to be too physiological 
and medical. The priest or nun may find it difficult to win the 
confidence of the child because of their position of authority. 
All substitutes are hampered by lack of time and the difficulty 
of sufficiently understanding the child's background. Certainly, 
a mother with five children has many more opportunities to gain 
knowledge of her children and win their confidence than a school 
teacher with 40 children, or a priest who must care for 1,000. 
However, when it is really necessary for the good of the child, 
any one of these substitutes may give the needed instruction. 
Parents, priests and teachers, both lay and religious, all have a 
"commission to teach and a grace of state."[5]

The Priest in the Confessional

It has sometimes been said that sex instruction can best be 
accomplished by the priest in the confessional. There are many 
reasons why this opinion is false. First of all, the priest very 
often has no opportunity to instruct until sin, or even a habit 
of sin, is brought to his attention. Then it is so late that his 
instruction in the confessional can be merely corrective. Second, 
there is the time element; the priest cannot risk the child's 
resentment at being detained too long, or the child's fear of 
drawing the attention of his companions or parents waiting 
outside. Third, the confessional is dark, so that the priest 
cannot see and be guided by the reactions of the child. Fourth, 
even were instruction attempted in the confessional, so much 
would have to be given at one time that a great deal of it would 
be missed by the child, or immediately forgotten. For these 
reasons and many others, it is the author's opinion that the only 
effective sex instruction the priest can give in the confessional 
is that concerning the morality of certain acts. He can do much 
remedial work, but little of a positive nature.[6]

Outside the confessional, of course, the priest may be very 
helpful. His work in the school and in personal interviews is of 
great assistance in these matters. Some adolescents prefer to 
talk over their sexual problems with a priest because his 
celibate life gives him a more objective and impersonal view of 
the whole realm of chastity, in or out of marriage.[7]


Tacit and Express Delegation

It is not necessary that parents expressly choose those who 
substitute for them in giving sex instructions. If the parents 
have not won the confidence of the child in this matter, they 
will not know when he is in need of help. Teachers are assistants 
to the parents in the work of educating children, and there is no 
reason why they may not give a certain amount of sex instruction 
to their charges according to individual needs. (They should 
never attempt this, it goes without saying, unless they are 
reasonably sure that the child needs some instruction, and that 
he is not getting it at home.)

This holds, in fact, for all qualified persons who are 
spontaneously approached by a child. Such approach does not 
necessarily mean that the child asks a pointblank question; he 
may merely give various indirect indications, references, etc., 
which hint of his need. It is right to answer his appeal, for the 
reason that the parents may be presumed to be reasonably willing 
to have the child's needs met by a really competent instructor. 
In the case of a child and a close Catholic relative or Catholic 
teacher, the parents' willingness would seem unquestionable. Such 
willingness could hardly be presumed in the case of persons more 
casually connected with the child.

Note, however, that the individual who undertakes such a task 
assumes serious responsibilities. He must not merely feel 
capable. There are too many who undertake to instruct children 
when they are less qualified than the children themselves. They 
must be reasonably assured of their ability chastely to educate 
or instruct a child.

One who has mastered the contents of this book or a similar work 
may consider himself qualified. But even doctors or nurses, if 
they merely know the physiology of sex but have not formed proper 
attitudes for themselves, are not capable of educating others.

There should be a dependable norm for the Catholic doctor, nurse, 
social worker, or school teacher who may read this work. Those 
who are in a position to gain the confidence of the child, who 
are properly qualified in language, Catholic principles and 
attitudes, whom the child spontaneously approaches, may, upon 
realizing the need of the child and its lack of instruction at 
home, reasonably presume the consent of the parents to give some 
instruction. This instruction may supplement parental education 
or even supply for it if necessary.

No parents who read the section above should use it as an excuse 
for not educating their own children in this matter. At the very 
best, instructors other than parents make poor substitutes for 
the work of the home. Most of them have no strict obligation to 
undertake the task, while the parents have such an obligation. 
Besides, as will be repeatedly pointed out, education in this 
matter should take in the whole growing life of the child. The 
parents alone are in contact with the child over the whole 
period.

THE PLACE OF THE CATHOLIC DOCTOR, NURSE, PSYCHIATRIST, ETC.

A group of parents will do well to become acquainted with a 
Catholic doctor, nurse, psychiatrist, child specialist, etc., 
whom they can consult if special problems arise. Such 
consultation might be necessary in the case of a child who reacts 
wrongly to instruction, or who contracts a bad habit, for 
example, masturbation. The specialists will be helpful, but they 
should be Catholic if at all possible. We do not mean merely 
specialists who are Catholic, but truly Catholic specialists, 
that is, those who practice their profession according to 
Catholic moral principles. Priests can frequently help in 
directing parents to such doctors, etc.


MOTHER OR FATHER?

Both mother and father have the obligation of educating their 
child to a chaste life. They are meant to be of mutual help, in 
this problem as in all others. In actual instruction, the father 
is obviously the "natural" one for the boys, the mother for the 
girls. However, it will be found at times that the mother is the 
better instructor for both sons and daughters until puberty or 
beyond. (This age varies with individuals, but is usually 
considered to be about 14 for boys and 12 for girls.)

No father should interpret what is said here as freeing him from 
responsibility in the sex education of his children. A good norm 
is: Whichever parent is asked, should answer.


QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION AIDS

1. Who has the right to educate a child? Who has the duty? Would 
the willful omission of this duty constitute a serious sin?

2. Why are parents alone in a position to give really adequate 
sex education?

3. Who or what is actually forming the mind of your children on 
sexual matters: You? The school? Your children's friends? 
Magazines? Comic books? Obscene pictures? Have you ever attempted 
to find out?

4. As an exercise in judgment, pick up any secular magazine and 
turn to a modern love story. Read it. Is the heroine's physical 
beauty described in excessive detail? Are passionate scenes 
presented? Does the author linger on such detail? Is there one 
incident in which the heroine disrobes or appears in a bathing 
suit? If so, has the illustrator selected this one (perhaps 
passing) incident for his illustration? Has the incident any real 
connection with the story? If not, why do you think it was 
introduced? Do hero and heroine marry within two weeks or less? 
Is divorce involved? Is there any mention of parenthood or 
children? Granting even that one or another story of this kind 
might be harmless, could a steady diet of such reading be 
healthy? In the same magazine count the advertisements. How many 
say in every line: "Romance, glamour, passion, can be had if you 
buy, wear, use, this product"?

Consider this cynical quotation from a story in a popular 
magazine: "Burlesque isn't dead, it's only been transferred to 
magazine illustrations." Would you consider this statement true?

Judge the last movie you saw in the light of its effect: (1) on 
young children; (2) on adolescents. Will these influences be the 
ones that educate your children? How can you combat them?

5. If you have adolescent girls, do you face any problems in 
persuading them to choose modest costumes, bathing suits etc.? If 
so, has their judgment been warped by their surroundings? How can 
you help them to judge what is modest?

6. Can anyone but a father or mother really supply all parental 
instruction? In cases of necessity who may supplement the work of 
parents?

7. Should the father or the mother be the one to instruct the 
children in sex?



ENDNOTES

1. "Guiding Christ's Little Ones," p. 2.

2. Cf. Fleege, Urban H., "Self-Revelation of the Adolescent Boy" 
(Bruce, Milwaukee, 1945), p. 275.

3. "The Nature and Function of Authority" (Marquette University 
Press, Milwaukee, 1940), pp. 55 ff.

4. Cf. Fleege, op. cit., pp. 272-274, 276.

5. Cf. also, Kirsch, op. cit., p. 164.

6. Further reasons against instruction in the confessional can be 
found in the Code of Canon Law, Canon 888, 2, cf. also the 
Private Response of the Sacred Office, May 16, 1943, in regard to 
treating these matters in the confessional.

7. Cf. Kirsch, op. cit., pp. 116, 163: Fleege, op. cit.. pp. 276-
277.



CHAPTER IV: GENERAL NORMS FOR SEX EDUCATION 


SEX EDUCATION MUST BE GRADUAL

Many people are surprised to hear that sex education must be 
gradual. They think of fulfilling this task in one "heart-to-
heart talk." Popular literature has confirmed this error by 
referring to the "birds and bees" lecture that parents are to 
give their children. This is against good common sense, for no 
child learns anything completely in one lesson. When a child of 
six asks what makes the train go, do you try to explain all the 
mechanical working of a steam engine? No, you answer simply, 
"Steam," and let it go at that. Again, the same subjects, to a 
large degree, are taught in grade school, high school, and 
college, simply because human beings learn gradually. The process 
is the same for sex education, but with an added reason. The 
child's sexual passions must not be awakened too soon. It must 
always be remembered that:

"There remain . . . in human nature the effects of original sin, 
chief of which are weakness of will and disorderly 
inclinations."[1]

It is foolish to try to teach the young child some things, such 
as higher mathematics, because he will not be able to grasp them. 
It is foolish to teach him the facts about sex too soon, not only 
because his understanding is weak, but because he may learn 
enough to experiment with his own passions. Do not object that 
this premature awakening is impossible. Statistics are to hand 
that would make you shudder.


Shock

Another reason for making sex education a gradual process is the 
danger of shocking a child. The nature of emotional shock must be 
understood. A shock is produced by a sudden and disagreeable 
surprise. We are shocked, for example, at the unexpected 
announcement of a good friend's death. We are not shocked at a 
pleasant surprise, though we may be amazed. Again, if a 
disagreeable fact comes upon us not suddenly, but gradually, we 
may be saddened, but we are not shocked. To take examples: we are 
shocked when a well-mannered child suddenly and convincingly 
cries, "I hate you"; we are pleasantly amazed when a moderately 
talented child suddenly takes all honors; we are saddened at a 
child who sins seriously, for to anyone who realizes the weakness 
of human nature, sin, however disagreeable, can never be a 
surprise.

Now, shock for a child in sexual matters usually has the two 
elements, of sudden surprise over a disagreeable fact. For 
example, it happened once that a boy of nine, totally unprepared, 
came upon a picture series in a doctor's book explaining a 
Caesarian birth. Naturally, he thought it the only method of 
birth. He was shocked at the sudden "knowledge" that his mother 
had to go through a terrible operation to give him life. If the 
instruction and education of a child are gradual, there will be 
no surprise, and the disagreeableness will be lessened. (The 
specific approach for eliminating any disagreeable effect of such 
information will be treated later.)

A still further reason for gradual education is the nature of the 
child's questions and curiosity. A child's first questions are 
ontological, not sexual. By this is meant that the child is 
interested in the world of things that exist, especially in 
living things. He is not sexually preoccupied. He is not 
searching for pleasure, nor is he interested in the mechanics of 
generation. He simply wants to know what things are, why they 
exist, and where they came from. Later on he will become curious 
about bodily mechanisms and pleasures. Naturally, then, you 
answer the questions that interest him and no more. A young child 
may be interested enough to ask where the new baby came from, but 
he or she will not ordinarily be concerned with how it got out, 
or how it came to be there in the first place. Therefore you 
instruct a child simply in the order of its need.


SEX EDUCATION SHOULD BE PRIVATE

The general rule of "privacy" for sex education applies chiefly 
to instruction on the intimate facts about sex, and to those 
portions of the child's training that are liable to be the more 
stimulating, such as warnings on venereal disease, explanations 
on how to act in a bathroom, and cautions against sinful actions. 
This does not mean that every child must always be instructed in 
such things individually, though frequently that is the best 
method. "Private" here means that instruction must be adapted to 
the personal needs of each child. Children in a family within a 
certain age range may often be instructed together.

Private instruction is important for two reasons: first, because 
of the child's psychological make-up; and second, because of the 
impossibility of meeting the needs of individuals in group 
instruction.

It must be understood that sexual instruction is liable to be 
stirring if presented vividly, or if several persons are present, 
or if it is given to a group of both sexes. Anyone who has ever 
talked to boys or girls on the subject, even in the most general 
terms, will bear this out. One who has gained a boy's or girl's 
confidence can talk to the child alone very easily. But an 
instructor who addresses a group of both boys and girls on 
anything pertaining to sex can almost feel the tension among 
them.

Of course broader educational points can be made to a group 
consisting of both sexes. This is the function of the school. 
General right attitudes toward marriage and parenthood can be 
fostered by the use of examples from history and literature, by 
analyzing the home life of foreign peoples, by suggestions in 
home economics and manual training classes and in religion 
courses. The priest can and should preach on the larger moral 
problems pertaining to chastity, matrimony, vocation, etc. 
However, intimate facts and delicate personal adjustments must 
always be left for private interviews. The common moral 
principles can be taught in the school, but the personal 
applications should be made in the home, in the confessional, or 
in other person-to-person contacts.

Mothers and fathers should create occasions when their children 
can talk to them of all their problems, not only the sex problem. 
If that is the practice in a home, sex problems will be easily 
proposed. The hour when the children are taking or being given a 
bath offers a good opportunity for some instruction to those who 
are very young. There are other made-to-order occasions, as when 
the mother is helping a child to dress, or combing its hair, or 
doing a chore with the help of the child. Hikes, fishing jaunts, 
co-operation in a hobby, even lesson time, all provide good 
occasions for a father to talk over problems with his son. No 
matter how busy or how large a household, opportunities can be 
found for those brief private chats that are so valuable a means 
of education in all spheres.


SEX EDUCATION MUST BE REPEATED

Parents are sometimes amazed to learn that repetition is needed 
in sex education and instruction. They think that once the 
inevitable questions are asked and answered, their troubles are 
at an end. Children forget; sometimes, indeed, their minds are 
distracted even while you are instructing them. Children learn 
few things "all at once." Did your child learn the multiplication 
table at one sitting? Was a single lesson enough to teach it 
obedience, or honesty, or any virtue? Of course not. Sex 
education is no different. Convictions and habits are built up 
only over a long period of time. It requires many admonitions and 
instructions, backed by constant good example, to make a mature 
person out of your child. If he comes to you with a question on 
sex that you answered before and shows no recollection of the 
answer, it may actually be a good sign. It may mean that the 
child is not mulling too much over these matters; and it also 
shows that the child has such confidence in you that he is not 
worrying that needed knowledge will be withheld. Only if the 
child returns frequently and at brief intervals with questions 
about sex, or if there is some indication that he is overly 
anxious, will it be necessary to caution him about too much 
thought on the subject.

There may come a time when your child needs a review of all that 
you have said over a long period. This is natural, and you should 
not be surprised at it. It seems to the writer that this is about 
the only time when a complete booklet will be useful for a boy or 
girl. For those of the age of, say, 15 or 16, a good booklet may 
put into final order the instructions you have given over a 
period of years. The same booklet, however, might be dangerous if 
you have avoided all previous informal education. Should you 
decide to give such a book to your child, first read it yourself 
to find out whether, in your judgment, it fits that child's need.

SEX EDUCATION MUST BE CONTINUED THROUGHOUT THE PERIOD OF GROWTH

If sex education is to be gradual, private, repeated and 
reviewed, then it will take a long time. It should be spread over 
a lifetime, from birth through maturity. Education will continue 
for a lifetime, but parental duties will be over or nearly over 
by the time one's child is about 18. The truth must be told the 
child at every age, but not always all the truth. Bits of 
knowledge should fit themselves into the child's mind so 
imperceptibly that he will not notice how much he is learning. If 
a child is trained in this way, then when the time of full 
enlightenment arrives, the information will seem natural, 
unspectacular, and even "old stuff."

It would be well if we lived in a society in which children could 
reach maturity, and find it economically possible to marry at an 
earlier age. In such a society, mature sex education could be 
reached by the age of 17 and marriage soon afterward. The world 
in which we actually live creates sex interest and problems at an 
early age and yet makes impossible the normal solution of such 
problems by an early marriage. That is why we state that sex 
education should last from 3 to 18. Adjustment to problems 
arising from that point until marriage is a special field that 
needs more attention from Catholic writers.


INSTRUCTION MUST MEET AND SLIGHTLY ANTICIPATE THE NEEDS OF THE 
INDIVIDUAL

Everyone will agree that education should meet the needs of each 
individual, and enable him to meet and solve successfully the 
problems of real life. However, it is difficult to judge what is 
the proper time for certain instructions For example, generally 
speaking, a boy should have definite information shortly before 
his first seminal emission; a girl, shortly before her first 
menstruation. But when will this happen to a particular child? 
You cannot foresee the exact time. Therefore, the child should be 
prepared in a general way in advance, so that when the time comes 
he or she will recall something of what has been said and have 
confidence enough to come back and ask for a more complete 
explanation. In other words, one instruction will be given before 
the need arises, another afterward. The first instruction will 
not be fully understood because there is no experience behind it. 
After the first experience, a more complete instruction can be 
given with a better chance of understanding.


Precisely When?

This is a difficult question to answer. There are seldom two 
children of the same physical constitution in the same family. 
One authority states that most girls experience their first 
menstruation at the age of 13 years and 9 months, and that most 
boys experience seminal emission for the first time at about 14 
years and 6 months. Yet no hard-and-fast date can be set down. 
There are many preliminary signs of puberty. When the youngsters 
begin to grow rapidly out of their clothes, when the boy's voice 
begins to change and he shows signs of a mustache, when the 
girl's breasts begin to develop and her figure changes from 
angles to curves, puberty is fast approaching. Certainly, when 
the mother notes a stain on the child's bed clothing or pajamas, 
the full instructions for puberty should be given.

When should the preliminary instruction be given? A good norm is, 
about 2 years before the age of puberty: thus, about the eleventh 
year for the girl and the twelfth for the boy. However, there is 
one fact of modern life that may make it necessary to give a boy 
or girl an even earlier instruction on bodily organs and changes. 
Children talk a great deal among themselves. Various studies 
which have been made concerning their first knowledge of the 
sexual mechanism, show this. According to Fleege,[2] 68 percent of 
the boys studied received enlightenment from companions in the 
seventh grade, and most girls learn the facts about sex in the 
sixth grade. It therefore seems safe to recommend that the first 
rather complete instruction be given to boys entering the seventh 
grade, and to girls entering the sixth.

Someone may say: "Well, if some learn even earlier, then we 
should give an earlier instruction to all." The answer is, that 
in dealing with human things we cannot prepare for every possible 
problem. If some children learn at 7, should we teach them all at 
6? No; the dangers attached to premature enlightenment by parents 
outweigh the chances of the child's being informed from other 
sources at an early age. Moreover, the danger can be greatly 
lessened where the parents so win the confidence of the child 
that he will come to them if he receives any sex information 
elsewhere. If, however, the child has actually received 
information from unwholesome sources, correct information must be 
imparted at once.

The twofold instruction spoken of above--that is, both before and 
after the need has declared itself--applies to other things 
besides seminal emission and menstruation. Such occasions are: 
the first appearance of attraction to the opposite sex; the first 
temptations against purity; the more difficult dangers when the 
adolescent goes off to work, or to college, or into nursing 
training; the dangers in boy-and-girl relationships; and finally, 
the beginning of company-keeping.

Forewarned is forearmed. Yet the forewarning must not take the 
form of vivid imaginative descriptions. Instead, this preliminary 
instruction should be general and more or less technical in 
terminology, and should appeal to the reason rather than to the 
imagination. It should be such that when, but only when, a 
temptation or bodily reaction is experienced, it will be 
recognized for what it is. Then the second and more complete 
instruction will be in order.


QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION AIDS

1. List several common-sense reasons why sex education should be 
gradual. What two elements enter into shock? Do you think both 
elements can be eliminated in sex education? Could they be at 
least softened?

2. What does the element of privacy mean in Christian sex 
education? Why should personal adjustments be private? Must each 
and every element of sex education be imparted in private? From 
the material contained in this and the previous chapter, what 
reasons must be opposed to formal sex education in the school?

3. Is it sufficient to take a child aside for just one talk on 
the whole subject of sex? Why are repetition and review 
necessary? Draw some parallels from other problems in life (for 
example, preparing for an examination, making a retreat, checking 
over your financial standing, etc.).

4. Try to formulate some answers to a child's first curious 
questions about babies. Save your ideas for comparison with what 
you will learn in Chapter XI.

5. At what time in a child's life should some instruction on 
sexual facts certainly be given? Can a definite time be assigned 
that applies equally to all?

6. What factors might make it necessary to give a child certain 
information earlier than the general norms indicate?

7. Discuss this quotation: "Talks should be held in strict 
secrecy between father and son or mother and daughter. They will 
definitely be justified and directly beneficial for they will 
correspond to the natural awakening of sex in the young person. 
At this time, such conversations cannot be harmful, since parents 
and children already understand that the subject is secret and 
important and must be discussed to obtain benefits which, 
remaining intimate, will equally be real.... Such talks must also 
cover sex hygiene and particularly questions of sexual morality."

Do you think this quotation must be one from a Catholic source? 
As a matter of fact it is a verbatim translation of a directive 
of the Soviet government on sex education![3] Can you believe that 
this comes from a government which once advocated the most frank 
forms of sexual initiation? Will the knowledge of this about-face 
after years of experience make you wary of sex education 
proposals in the schools? Why?



ENDNOTES

1. Pius XI, "On the Christian Education of Youth."

2. Op. cit., p. 276.

3. Cf. "U.S. News and World Report" (independent weekly news 
magazine, Washington, D.C.), July 22, 1949, p. 26: "Russia Takes 
a New Line on Sex." Quoted with permission of the copyright 
owner.



CHAPTER V: RELIGIOUS CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: I


(VOCATION, SEX, AND THE PURPOSE OF LIFE)

What should be contained in a complete Catholic education on sex? 
It is hard to separate the elements of sex education from general 
education; and this is exactly the reason why sex education 
itself should not be separated from general education. However, 
for purposes of study we shall attempt to outline the content of 
Catholic education to chastity. The remainder of the book is 
concerned with this content material.

Catholic sex education should be religious, moral, emotional, 
psychological and physiological, and in that order of importance. 
It should also embrace warnings of danger and give a remote and 
proximate preparation for marriage. It is difficult to separate 
these elements. Indeed, just as sex education should not be 
separated from general education, so each of these elements of 
sex education should not be separated from the others. It is a 
natural thing to blend them together. For example, who would wish 
to separate the noble emotion of real love from the religious 
fact that in marriage husband and wife symbolize the union of 
Christ with His Church?

It is necessary, moreover, to take special care never to separate 
physiological information from an emotional, ethical or religious 
viewpoint. Never say, "This organ is called this, and is used in 
this way." Indicate the moral meaning of its use, or the wonder 
of the power of procreation, or parallel the information with the 
Hail Mary, etc.


PURPOSE OF MAN

So much of our religion affects our outlook on sex that there is 
room here to sketch out only the most important truths and 
attitudes. You are placed on this earth to know, love and serve 
God. You are not here primarily to be a dictator, to make money, 
or have fun. You know and love God by your intellect and will, 
and supernaturally by the virtues of faith, hope and charity. How 
do you serve Him? You serve God by keeping His laws and by 
performing the duties of your state in life to the best of your 
ability. It makes no difference what position you hold, whether 
president or porter; it makes no difference what your state of 
life is, married, single, or vowed to God's service. You can only 
reach God by carrying out your particular duties to the best of 
your ability according to His law.


STATE OF LIFE

There are three general states or vocations in life: the conjugal 
or married state, the state of virginity in the world, and the 
state of virginity in a religious order or the priesthood.


Virginity

If we forget for a moment the circumstances affecting this or 
that individual, and examine the states of life in themselves, 
virginity is the higher state when embraced for a supernatural 
reason. Speaking of a father's duty toward an unmarried daughter, 
St. Paul says: "He who gives his virgin in marriage does well, 
and he who does not give her does better" (1 Cor. 7:38). Notice 
that St. Paul says virginity is better--he does not say marriage 
is sinful! In fact, he denies that strongly: "If thou takest a 
wife, thou hast not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not 
sinned" (1 Cor. 7:28). His distinction is between what is good 
and what is better.

Why is virginity better? The state of virginity makes it possible 
for the individual to love God more directly without distraction 
(cf. 1 Cor. 7:25-35). Virginity gives a person an opportunity to 
sacrifice himself by completely overcoming the drive of bodily 
passion. This state is a more difficult life in many ways, and if 
chosen out of love of God, is more meritorious. When consecrated 
by the vows of religion, virginity becomes even more noble.

However, if a man or woman were to embrace celibacy or virginity 
for merely selfish motives, to avoid responsibility, to have ease 
and comfort, etc., his or her virginity would be far less noble 
than marriage. St. Augustine states this pungently:

"Virginity is not honored because it is virginity, but because it 
is dedicated to God!"[1]


Clerical and Cloistered Virginity

How many thousands of young men and women have gone into the 
priesthood and cloister to serve God and neighbor with all their 
strength! They are the silent heroes of every age in history. 
They have bound up the spiritual and physical wounds of mankind. 
They have brought sinful men back to God. Throughout the 
centuries they have been for human society the nurses, the 
educators, the librarians, the experimental farmers, the 
scientists and inventors, as well as the mystics and 
contemplatives. Their contribution to the good of man can never 
be measured in terms of dollars and cents, for without their 
efforts culture and Christian civilization itself might be dead. 
Priests and religious give the lie to the pagan claim, heard so 
often, that continence is impossible, or if possible, fruitless. 
Such men and women give fully of their lives, and ask only "food 
and sufficient clothing, with these . . . [they are] content" (1 
Tim. 6:8). Here is a worthy vocation in life, a career that 
cannot be equaled by any worldly calling.


Virginity in the World

Virginity, as has been said, is a state of life possible not only 
in the cloister but also outside it. Many of our young people are 
following this state in the world with a very holy purpose. Many 
nurses, social workers, doctors, teachers and hundreds of others 
have voluntarily embraced virginity to devote themselves to their 
work and through their work to God. If anyone doubts the worth of 
such a sacrifice, let him consult Pope Pius XII's statement in 
"Women's Duties in Social and Political Life."[2]


Matrimony

The third noble state of life is the conjugal state. "Marriage is 
the lawful contract between man and woman by which is given and 
accepted the exclusive and perpetual right to those mutual bodily 
functions which are naturally apt to generate offspring."[3] Stated 
in these cold words, marriage does not seem to mean much. But for 
baptized Christians, it is far more. Christ has raised this 
natural contract to the dignity and holiness of a sacrament. 
Through it He grants to the spouses all the graces needed for 
their heavy duties, and He renders their contract, already 
permanent by natural law, absolutely unbreakable in life. As He 
Himself says: "Now they are no longer two, but one flesh. What 
therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder" (Mark 
10:8-9). The wonderful and uniquely personal thing about this 
sacrament is that the bride and groom are the ministers of it. 
The priest does not confer the sacrament, he is merely the 
official witness at the ceremony. Husband and wife confer the 
sacrament on each other with all its graces. Not only do they 
give each other their bodies and their lives, but they also give 
to each other the sacrament from which come the graces needed to 
perform their duties. By performing these duties properly, they 
gain heaven. In the Sacrament of Matrimony, therefore, there are 
only three actors: a man, a woman, and--no, not a priest but--
God!


SEX AND MARRIAGE

Sex acts are sacred and reserved to the married. Though the human 
sexual functions are indeed physical, and similar to those of 
animals (note we say similar, not the same by any means), a man 
and woman co-operate not merely in the production of a body, but 
toward the creation of a human person, who has a soul. It is God 
alone who produces the soul; but parents are co-creators with Him 
in bringing the whole person into existence. The human child is 
not a little animal that merely eats and drinks and grows up to 
reproduce his kind. He is a person: a being of tremendous worth. 
He thinks, he wills, he loves, he becomes responsible for his 
acts. He can know and love God, and with supernatural help he can 
reach heaven; that is, he can attain such a state of perfection 
that he is able to participate in the Life of God.

A human being is valuable--so valuable that God Himself saw fit 
to unite a human nature with His divine nature in the Person of 
Christ. If a human person is sacred as a result of such 
consecration by God, then the act by which he is produced, the 
sexual act of husband and wife, is sacred and holy; because if an 
effect is holy, its cause must be holy.

The highest appreciation the non-Christian can have of marriage 
is that it builds up the human race. The desire to perfect the 
human race by bringing children into the world, and by bringing 
them to the highest perfection is very noble. Yet how much more 
noble it is to have the vocation of building up the Mystical Body 
of Christ, to help extend Christ's holy Body, the Church, to the 
ends of the earth!

"The humblest of laboring men should regard his home life as an 
apostolate out of which Church and nation may draw the priests, 
missionaries and apostles they need. For the basic ideal of 
family life is to "multiply the number of the elect." Let this be 
brought home to the working classes, for they in particular are 
equal to the acts of generosity, devotion and self-denial which 
such an ideal demands. And it is the proper development of the 
worker's family life in accordance with this ideal that must be 
kept in mind when facing questions such as the living wage, the 
housing problem, married women workers, and that of supply and 
demand in economics; and also in fighting the liberalism and 
individualism, and the "statism," collectivism, and materialistic 
nationalism which are its enemies. Family life inspired by this 
high ideal affords a proper basis for the decent education and 
moral training of the young. It gives a truly supernatural 
foundation to their courtships and their friendships, which alone 
is able to withstand the teaching and morals of modern 
paganism."[4]

The nobility of marriage is further shown by the fact that St. 
Paul uses the union of husband and wife as a miniature or symbol 
of the mystical union of Christ with His Church (Eph. 5:22-32):

"Let wives be subject to their husbands as to the Lord; because a 
husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is head of the 
Church....

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the 
Church.... He who loves his own wife, loves himself. For no one 
ever hated his own flesh; on the contrary he nourishes and 
cherishes it, as Christ also does the Church (because we are 
members of His body, made from His flesh and from His bones).

"'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and 
cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.'

"This is a great mystery--I mean in reference to Christ and to 
the Church."


PURPOSES OP MARRIAGE

For many moderns, the purposes of marriage are the gratification 
and pleasure of the couple. Children, when they are thought of, 
come last in their plans. We sometimes wonder whether such 
couples ever desire children except as an expression of their own 
selfishness. In any event, their wish for children never rises 
above the merely natural level. Some want a boy or girl, not for 
the child's sake, but for their own. They want someone to love, 
and someone to show off. They want the pleasure of association 
with the child, perhaps even some companionship in their old age-
-a few children are a good investment! So long as their comfort, 
freedom or pleasure is not hindered, they will have a few--and 
only a few. They feel no sense of vocation to raise a family for 
itself.

This attitude is very incomplete. Few of those who have it would 
admit it even to themselves, for in many cases it is unconscious. 
Nevertheless, the fact is there. True, all the joys they wish 
from their children can be justly sought, but such happiness 
should be a result of their vocation as parents, not the prime 
purpose of their married lives.

How different is the Catholic concept! The first purpose of 
marriage is children. To beget and educate children is a career 
that should stimulate work and sacrifice. The second purpose of 
marriage is mutual love, help and service, not only in bodily and 
temporal needs, but also in spiritual things. Married Christians 
must seek God together. The last, but by no means unimportant, 
purpose is to provide a legitimate and holy outlet for 
concupiscence. We must not lose sight of the order of purposes 
within the marriage state.


VOCATIONS AND SEX EDUCATION

Why all this material on states of life when we are speaking of 
sex education? Is it not a digression? No. Sexual acts and sexual 
pleasure are reserved for the married. (This should be repeated 
again and again.) If this is true, then a mature outlook on the 
use of sex depends on one's choice of a state of life. Once the 
individual has finally chosen, that state is the way to heaven 
for him. All discussion concerning the relative value of the 
different states in life ceases when that decision is made, for 
in the concrete, the best vocation for each person is the one to 
which he is called.[5] Obviously then, a part of sex education is 
an understanding of states in life. We can never integrate 
attitudes on sex into our lives until we understand where sexual 
activity belongs.


The Child and Vocation

All three states of life should be frequently presented to the 
child for consideration. He should be told that he is free to 
choose the married state, virginity in the world, or virginity in 
the cloister or in the priesthood. Since each state is a vocation 
from God, the child should be taught, at least by his tenth year, 
to pray for guidance in his choice of vocation. The choice may 
not be finally made until many years later, but it should be 
considered early. This consideration need not be presented to the 
child in so many words, but he should always know and feel that 
there are three states of life from which he must freely choose.


Nature of a Call

Vocation, often named a "calling," should not be explained to the 
child as an inner voice which clearly indicates God's will. 
Rather, it shows itself by inclination, circumstances, ability, 
and, in religious or priestly vocation, by the acceptance or 
rejection of religious or ecclesiastical superiors.

Parents should teach these facts many times in word, but even 
more often by example. It should be the expressed desire of every 
family that God grant the grace of a religious or priestly 
vocation to one of the children. Without exerting personal 
pressure of any kind, mother and father should speak of the 
happiness it would give them if God granted this grace. They 
should always be reverent, admiring and devoted toward priests 
and nuns, who, with all their human faults, are God's special 
servants.

Toward those who live virginal lives in the world, parents should 
show admiration rather than pity. A girl or boy who remains 
unmarried to care for a family which has lost father or mother, 
should be respected and honored. A nurse, teacher or social 
worker, or anyone who consecrates a virginal life to real service 
of God and men, demands reverence and respect, not commiseration, 
or worse, cynical humor.

The sacredness of marriage should be continually expressed before 
the children, even though one or the other has clearly indicated 
a call to the virginal life. After all, religious and priests do 
not and should not despise marriage. It is a wholesome and good 
state which they have "traded in" for something better. A mature 
outlook on marriage is necessary for everyone. Marriage is noble! 
Teach your children by word and example that you married for love 
of each other and of children. Show reverence and love for each 
other, respect and esteem to other parents. Show that you 
consider your sacrifices worthwhile. As a means of teaching the 
sacredness of marriage, we suggest that you take the children to 
Wedding Masses and explain their beauty and deep meaning.

Your children are romantic. It is well, indeed, to show them the 
romance of all three states in life. Do not hide the difficulties 
of any state, but point out its value compared to the price that 
is paid. Hundreds of ways will suggest themselves to you. 
Storytelling from the Lives of the Saints (married saints, too!) 
will provide many such opportunities.


QUESTIONS AND DISCUSSION AIDS

1. Should sex education be separated from general education? Why 
not? Do you give a special education in honesty, truthfulness? 
Should the divisions of sex education be separated in teaching? 
Can you teach the religious first, the moral second, etc.?

2. A watch is made by a watchmaker to keep time. Who made man and 
for what purpose? How does man accomplish that purpose? What 
happens to a watch when it no longer keeps time? What happens to 
a man when he comes to the end of his life without reaching his 
goal?

3. What is a state of life? How many states are there? Which is 
the best? Why? Are the others evil? Which is the really right one 
for you? Discuss your reasons thoroughly.

4. Does a state in life have anything to do with sex education? 
Could you ever build a valid code of sexual morals without 
reference to God, and to state in life?

5. What are God's purposes for marriage? Is the order of purposes 
important? Why?

6. Is it not true that some parents have a few children for 
merely selfish reasons? What is the ideal of Christian parents?

Discuss this verbatim report of a radio question addressed by one 
child to a panel of other children:[6]

Questioner: "I want a dog but my mother won't let me have one."

Answer: "You don't use the right strategy. Ask her for a baby 
brother--then I'm sure she'll settle for a dog."

7. Is a vocation an inner voice? What is it? How is it made 
known?

8. Do you give good example of respect toward all three callings? 
Is "old maid" frequent in your vocabulary? Can it be rightly 
applied to the unmarried by choice? Is virginity valuable in 
itself? Explain.

9. Do you really believe marriage is a career? Why is it a holy 
state? Do you ever indicate how happy you would be to see one of 
your children a priest or a nun? Would you be happy?

10. How would you use the beauty of a Wedding Mass to explain the 
nobility of marriage?



ENDNOTES

1. "On Virgins," chapter 8.

2. Paulist Press, New York, 1945. 

3. Davis, op. cit., Vol. IV, p. 53.

4. Canon Cardijn, "The Spirit of the Y.C.W." (Catholic Truth 
Society, Toronto, 1940), pp. 13-14. Quoted with permission of the 
publisher.

5. This does not mean that once a choice has been made it cannot 
be changed. Up until the time of ordination, final vows, or 
wedding day, the decision may be revoked. This holds also for the 
state of virginity in the world. Mature decision may change an 
early attraction to any one state. Adolescents should not be 
accused of fickleness if they change their minds as they grow 
older.

6. "Little Miffed Moppets," "Reader's Digest," September, 1949, 
p. 47. Quoted with permission of the publisher.



CHAPTER VI: RELIGIOUS CONTENT OF CATHOLIC SEX EDUCATION: II


(THE CHALLENGE TO PURITY; MEANS TO ATTAIN IT)


REVERENCE FOR THE BODY

When once the meaning of vocation is known, the value of the body 
will become clear. The whole body is holy and sacred because God 
made it, because it is a cell of the Body of Christ, and a 
dwelling place of the Holy Spirit.

Modesty can easily be taught with the following religious 
background. After all, we clothe all the things we reverence. We 
cover the Tabernacle and the Ciborium with a veil. A priest 
brings the consecrated Chalice to the altar concealed under a 
beautiful liturgical covering. His consecrated body is clothed 
with vestments. In the same way, and with similar sentiments, the 
body should always be decently, and as far as is reasonably 
possible, appropriately clothed. It is holy. Let young people be 
taught this. Their natural desire for self-adornment can be 
consecrated and ennobled by the idea of showing reverence for 
their body, with its generative powers.

The sexual powers, far from being the least worthy, are among the 
most wonderful. Even among the marvelous bodily functions, 
certainly that one is unique which helps bring a human person 
into existence.

Our English words for the sex organs are not very satisfactory. 
"Genitals" is a technical term. "Private parts" sounds like a "No 
Trespassing" sign; it is correct, but very negative. The best 
word is a Latin one, "verenda." It means "the parts worthy of 
reverence." Besides the notion of reverence, the word has a tone 
of "modesty," indicating that these parts should be covered, and 
also a note of quiet fear, since they may so easily trick one 
into sin. If ever you doubt your own or your child's attitude, 
ask yourself whether you consider sexual organs as "verenda": as 
good and holy, a sacred trust from God to be used according to 
His laws.

Though sexual acts are beautiful and holy in marriage, they are 
shameful and vicious outside it. Just as it would be blasphemous 
and sacrilegious for a young man to pretend to say Mass or hear 
confessions before his Ordination, so it is unholy for a young 
man to use his body before marriage as a married person does. 
Does this sound farfetched? Read St. Paul's condemnation of 
impurity as an injustice, a sacrilege and a profanation (1 Cor. 
6:13-20):

"Now the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the 
Lord for the body....

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?

"Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of 
a harlot?

"By no means!

"Or do you not know that he who cleaves to a harlot, becomes one 
body with her? 'For the two,' it [Scripture] says, 'shall be one 
flesh.'

"But he who cleaves to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee 
immorality.

"Every [other] sin that a man commits is outside the body, but 
the immoral man sins against his own body.

"Or do you not know that your members are the temple of the Holy 
Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are 
not your own?

"For you have been bought at a great price.

"Glorify God and bear Him in your body."

These words are startlingly strong, but they state truths 
inspired by God Himself.

This same reverence should extend to the bodies of others, for 
the following reasons:

First, they too are (at least possible) members of the Mystical 
Body of Christ and temples of the Holy Spirit.

Second, St. Thomas notes that any love for an external thing is 
selfish. A man, for example, who loves only food, is selfish. He 
wishes his own pleasure and nothing else. Therefore, if a man or 
woman desires a body, which is an external thing, and has no 
regard for the soul, his or her love is selfish. Since love is 
between persons, and persons are made of both soul and body, real 
love can never consider the body alone.

Finally, true love demands such reverence, for love demands that 
a man or woman do everything that is good for the beloved. To 
real love, death and torment mean nothing so long as the beloved 
one is benefited. Now, though it is true that sexual acts are the 
highest physical expression of love when used in marriage, 
nevertheless, when they occur outside of marriage such acts are 
really acts of hatred because the one who suggests them is really 
willing to see his beloved punished in hell.


ESTEEM FOR PURITY

Once we understand all these facts, we cannot help loving 
chastity. It is a glorious virtue, a lily among thorns, which can 
be won only by hard work. It is a positive virtue, as is clear in 
the lives of Our Lady and our Lord. Some moderns have the idea 
that purity is a weak, effeminate thing, and that lust alone is 
virile! (Notice the movie advertisements: "lusty," "sparkling," 
etc.) No, impurity is the weak, cowardly thing, that slinks off 
into a dark corner to enjoy its forbidden fruits. Let Chesterton 
show us how we should answer those who think purity is weak and 
sissified:


                                              VIRTUE

               I am sorry, old dear, if I hurt you, 
               No doubt it is all very nice, 
               With the lilies and languors of virtue 
               And the raptures and roses of vice. 
               But the notion impels me to anger 
               That vice is all rapture for me, 
               And if you think virtue is languor 
               JUST TRY IT AND SEE![1]


Natural Reasons for Purity

There are many good natural reasons for purity, but they are very 
weak compared to the vision of vocation and the holiness of the 
body, which we have shown you. Nevertheless, natural reasons are 
good reasons, and should be given along with the more religious 
instruction. Premarital chastity is very helpful toward a happy 
marriage, even on the most natural level.[2] The joys of 
parenthood, the realization of one's duty to humanity, perfect 
expression of married love, and a hundred other considerations 
demand chastity both before and during marriage. Most of these 
natural considerations will be dealt with in the chapters on 
emotion and psychology.

All this discussion about the religious and natural concept of 
sex and marriage--all these reasons, both positive and negative--
would be sufficient to insure chastity in our youth, if (and it 
is a big IF) there were no original sin! Chesterton remarks that 
any man willing to see must perceive that there is a taint of 
some kind in human nature. Man, with all his ideals, hopes and 
plans, which are good and noble, frequently acts contrary to his 
own clear idea of what is right and wrong. Bishop Fulton J. Sheen 
has declared that the realization of the fact of original sin is 
more necessary today than of any other doctrine. He has reason to 
say this. In one questionnaire, only 67 percent of Protestant 
ministers and 13 percent of students for the Protestant ministry 
held the doctrine of original sin! (Incidentally, only 9 percent 
of the students believed in a devil.)


What Is It?

In paradise, Adam and Eve did not obey God's command. Because of 
their sin they lost sanctifying grace, the right to heaven, and 
their special gifts; they became subject to death, to suffering, 
to ignorance, and to a strong inclination to evil. On account of 
Adam's sin, we, his descendants, come into the world deprived of 
sanctifying grace, and inherit all his punishments. This sin in 
us is called original sin.

The most disconcerting of its effects is an inborn contrariness 
in us. We, who are made for God, tend away from Him. We, who are 
made to be good and virtuous, tend away from the very good we 
should pursue. Original sin in us has left our will toward true 
moral good weakened, and our inclinations disordered, rebellious 
and violent. We find it hard to keep the simplest resolution for 
a single day. We find that if we do not strenuously fix our aim 
on God and on virtuous acts, and beg His aid to achieve them, we 
are soon full of shameful evil. St. Paul has put it exactly (Rom. 
7:22-23, 15):

          For I am delighted with the law of God according
               to the inner man,
          But I see another law in my members, warring against
               the law of my mind
          and making me a prisoner to the law of sin that is in 
               my members.
          ...it is not what I wish that I do, but what I hate, that 
               I do.

Who has not experienced this warring of members which St. Paul 
describes? Yet how many of us attempt to live without taking this 
natural flaw into account!


Natural Means

The presence of this flaw is the reason why the Church and the 
Popes are so strong in condemning merely natural means for 
preserving chastity. However good the natural methods, they are 
not strong enough to combat humanity's inborn weakness. As Pius 
XI says, the encyclical "On the Christian Education of Youth":

". . . Every form of pedagogic naturalism which in way excludes 
or weakens supernatural Christian formation in the teaching of 
youth, is false."[3]

The realization of the impact of original sin is also the reason 
why we, as Catholics, must oppose so much of the "sex education" 
that is proposed for public schools. Such sex information is 
given on the assumption that human nature is completely good 
without any help from God, and that instruction or information 
can never be harmful. Some educators believe that once young 
people know all about the physiology and the emotional content of 
sexual relations, and also the danger of venereal disease, they 
will live chaste lives. Experience proves over and over again 
that this simply is not true.[4] The most recent non-Catholic 
thinkers on the problem have begun to abandon such ideas and now 
support a broader idea of "sex education" which is not quite so 
far from our Catholic one.[5]


Original Sin and Sex

More people are betrayed into sins by ignorance of their weak 
human nature than by any other single factor. They feel 
confident, strong, captains of their fate. They dally with all 
sorts of temptations, relying on their natural powers alone to 
keep them from lying, theft and lust. They refuse to admit that 
their own worst enemy is within. When they read of fantastic 
evils, the sadistic cruelties of the recent war, and the 
staggering sex crimes of our day, they label the criminals as 
"insane." They are fools! Though crimes of this nature have been 
committed by the insane, most crimes are committed by normal 
people who have deliberately placed themselves in a series of 
situations in which their unfortified wills succumb. We all have 
within us the seeds of every kind of sin, and only the most 
realistic precautions can save us. The sexual passions are the 
most difficult tendencies to control, and original sin creates 
more havoc in that realm than in any other. This fact demands 
that we study and adopt correct attitudes toward sexual sin.


Parents' Attitudes

Parents must realize the struggle that their children face 
through late childhood and adolescence. They must not ignore, nor 
must they be horrified by, the fact that their children can be 
tempted or can sin. When their children are maturing sexually, 
parents should be sympathetic and helpful. They should recall 
their own difficulties and prepare themselves to help their 
children. Parents should not show horror or fly into a rage if a 
child falls or even develops a habit of sin. They must try to 
imitate our Lord, who condemned the sin but helped the sinner. 
These statements take it for granted that the child will come to 
you for help. This in turn presupposes that the child has 
confidence in you. If these things are not true in your case, 
there is little you can do but pray and show yourself willing to 
aid. You can and must correct external acts, but a child will 
probably resent any intrusion into his internal affairs.


Children's Attitudes

Children must be taught that goodness will not come without 
effort. As with so many things, they learn this more easily from 
experience than from words. The child must learn self-control in 
all things, with gradual application to purity and modesty as 
needed. Therefore, sensible parents will repress temper tantrums, 
selfishness, excessive softness and comfort, choice of only the 
pleasing foods, and so on. The child will thus learn that he may 
not do, say, read and see whatever he wishes in life. A child 
should also learn that not all duties in life are agreeable and 
pleasant, yet that by the "hard work" of duty he obtains 
worthwhile things. Purity is one of these virtues most 
worthwhile. It is important also that moderation be taught in all 
things that give pleasure, especially bodily pleasure. There is a 
weighty reason behind such moderation. Man is not on earth for 
pleasure, but pleasure is given him to smooth out the road a 
little. If pleasure is made the purpose of life, no one can be 
chaste. If pleasure is the goal of life, no one will reach 
heaven.


Discipline and Mortification

Well-ordered home life demands discipline in many matters. Such 
home discipline should prepare the way for the practice of 
chastity, which also demands discipline particularly in the realm 
of thought and imagination. This mental discipline is taught 
better by direction than by repression. If a child is expected to 
apply himself diligently to his studies without daydreaming; to 
perform duties suitable to his age; to stick to a job until it is 
finished--he will learn this necessary discipline of thought and 
imagination.

Mortification should also be a commonplace in the Catholic home. 
Friday abstinence, little Lenten mortifications, and tiny 
voluntary sacrifices offered to God, develop a self-control in 
the child which will carry over for life. When St. Therese, the 
Little Flower of Jesus, was but five years old, she carried a 
tiny "counting rosary" to number her mortifications during the 
day. Though they may well omit her method of counting, children 
certainly need her kind of sensible and mild mortification.


Motive--Love of