The Pennsylvania Catholic Bishops Speak to Youth on the Gift of
Sexuality
YOUNG PEOPLE ARE SPECIAL
As young persons today you mature as adults in a world not only
different from that of our own generation, but also in one much more
difficult. It is an environment at times hostile to Christian values,
and often exploitive in the way it treats other human beings.
This is all the more reason why we cherish and respect you for the
strengths and the courage you show under pressure and in the face of
troubling influences.
You are part of one of the most highly educated generations our
nation has yet seen. Knowing this, we are confident for the future. But
more than that, we admire you for your deep sensitivity to issues of
peace and justice, for your insistence upon honesty in public life, and
for the sincerity of your outreach to the poor, the disadvantaged, the
elderly, and to your own suffering peers. You are helping to make
Christ's love present to those who desperately need it.
WHO YOU ARE
To love and to be loved is for human beings a tremendously fulfilling
experience. In this exchange we come to know who we are, where we are
going, and the part others can play in our lives and we in theirs.
Adolescence is the time when you begin to experience your potential
to reach out in love to another, and when your yearning for the
affirmation of love in return is heightened. In the power of this need
to love and receive love, which fills your whole being, you can
recognize how important your own sexuality is for yourselves and also
for others. Sexuality is what makes you a male or female person. It
reflects itself in what you are physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. As a male or female person you can express your sexuality
then in many different ways, according to your current state in life or
the vocation you have chosen.
A great part of appreciating who you are is realizing that your
sexuality is a gift from God. The book of Genesis tells us in the
account of creation, God our Father created us in his own image and
likeness as his sons and daughters, male and female. Since he loves us
this much, each of us is a lovable person. The Bible then tells us that
God looked upon the way he made us male and female and saw that
it was good (Genesis 1: 27; 31). And so because our sexuality reflects
the goodness of God himself, that is why it is good. Jesus, the God-Man,
as a male himself, reveals to us also the goodness of our sexuality.
It is then so important for understanding ourselves and others that
we recognize that our dignity and worth as persons come from our special
relationship to God. As a Father he has given us all the gifts we have,
including our sexuality. Only when we appreciate our own goodness can we
love and respect that same goodness in others.
Besides assuring us of our goodness, the book of Genesis also reminds
us that we have been weakened by original sin. That is why we at times
find it difficult to live out God's plan for using this great gift of
our sexuality. This is also why at times our best self does not emerge
as we would like. Quite the opposite, our worst self comes forward. When
we knowingly and willingly allow this to happen, we sin sometimes
even seriously. But despite our weakness Jesus promises us his help to
overcome sin.
COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS
Our sexuality relates us as male and female to one another, and can
relate us to a person of the opposite sex in an emotional love
relationship. At times you may find yourself in what you feel is a
committed relationship by going steady. We understand how difficult it
may be to delay the physical sexual expression of your feelings for each
other because of the strong drives which move you to do so. But we are
convinced that it is in your best interest to control those urges.
You are presently at a key time in the process of growing up. Sexual
involvement now will considerably reduce the time, energy, and attention
you need for personal development. This development comes through
forming a variety of friendships with many persons. These friendships
and different personal contacts are very important for developing your
sense of who you are, your self-esteem, and for finding out what is
important to you in life. Sexual involvement at this time usually means
an unhealthy emotional dependence on one person, just when a successful
maturing process requires having many and different kinds of contacts
and friendships with others. It is on the basis of this broader
experience in evaluating people that you will be able later on to make a
mature judgment about the kind of person to whom you can make a
permanent commitment. If your partner for life is to be your best
friend, you will need a lot of experience with friendships, with sharing
your ideas about life and your dreams for the future, without having sex
overshadow everything else.
It is only when you actually commit yourself to your partner in
marriage that there is enough guarantee for you both that the gift of
yourselves to each other is really total and meant to last. This
protects both of you, and it also provides a nurturing home for the
children your love may place in the world. These are some of the reasons
why the Church has always taught that the physical sexual expression of
a mature and serious commitment has its place only in marriage.
If the intensity of your love is so strong that it makes you want to
devote your whole selves and your whole lives to each other, then this
desire should be supported by the commitment necessary for marriage. And
if your committed love is true you will want it to last forever. It will
also be a faithful love because it will exclude everyone else but the
person you love.
Jesus established marriage as a lasting partnership between a man and
a woman (Matthew 19:3-9), and so the Church has always taught that
marriage is a sacrament which involves commitment for life. A whole life
together of caring and sharing means also that you will have each
other's support as you experience not only the joys and beauty of life,
but also the challenges and sorrows which are a part of it.
CELEBRATING COMMITMENT
The Church has always viewed sexual intercourse as the expression of
the faithful and permanent commitment which a man and a woman have made
to each other in marriage. It is only in this context that a total gift
of yourself body and soul to your partner can mean all that it
is supposed to mean.
Sexual intercourse should express not only the gift of two bodies but
the gift of minds and hearts as well the gift of two persons in
true and authentic love. Genital sexual activity is the most profound
and total response the physical part of you can make to another person.
This total physical response or gift must then also be accompanied by a
total spiritual gift of one's self mind and heart to be
complete. Only then is it really worthy of your dignity as a person and
therefore morally sound.
To engage in sexual activity in a promiscuous or casual manner means
to act in a way which makes a gift of your body to another without the
corresponding gift of your mind and heart in real love. This splits the
person, so to speak, and turns the giving into self-seeking. This means
that you are using another person. Self-seeking is also evident in
solitary satisfaction which uses for oneself a gift intended for someone
else.
A split also occurs when sexual intercourse excludes an openness to
transmitting life. This power to pass on life is also an essential part
of our sexuality. It goes hand in hand with its ability to create
pleasure and sustain intimacy. Using a contraceptive, for instance,
means denying an essential purpose for which God made our sexuality
to pass on life. To admit one dimension of sexuality without the other
would be like giving only one part of the gift. It would be like
redesigning sexuality for ourselves and not accepting it the way God
made it. That is where sin enters the picture.
BUILDING A HAPPY LIFE
To love and to be loved is then in reality to respect the dignity of
your own sexuality and that of others. This respect is not always easy
because it sometimes imposes limitations which are difficult to accept
due to the power of the sexual urges and forces within you. And many of
the influences all around you offer you little help in controlling these
urges.
Jesus tells us, "Love one another as I have loved you." His
self-giving and life-giving love involved a cross. So too, if your love
is to be self-giving and also life-giving it will always demand of you
the discipline of momentary sacrifice in the interest of achieving long
term happiness and fulfillment. Casual sexual activity is hardly a
preparation for faithfulness in marriage and a happy married life.
Putting off until marriage the genital expression of the love you find
in a committed relationship can be the greatest sign of caring and
respect you can show toward the person you love. This respect and caring
can also be one of the best guarantees of a happy and fulfilled life
together later on in marriage.
Building a happy life for yourselves means, then, celebrating your
sexuality at a later time in life when you are married. But building a
successful life requires putting off for the time being also many other
joys and pleasures until you have completed the process of preparing
yourselves for a profession or calling in life.
YOU AND YOUR WORLD
There can be no doubt that you are maturing into adulthood in an
environment which is at odds with Catholic-Christian values. You deserve
special, loving support as you struggle to understand and acquire for
yourselves a healthy identity as a male or female person. This is
difficult in a world which has cheapened sex by making it a consumer
product. It is difficult also because of peer pressure from those who do
not share your outlook on sexuality.
We can understand your confusion with the double standards which
portray premarital and extramarital sexual activity in the media as
acceptable, and yet which can turn around and condemn such conduct, for
instance, in candidates for public office. Today, more than ever before,
you as young persons deserve to be affirmed and supported by a clear
vision of your sexuality as a gift from God and of his plan for using
that gift.
GOD'S COMPASSION
At the same time you, should be aware that God understands better
than any human being the difficulties and powerful urges you have to
deal with in order to live God's design for the use of this gift. The
supportive love God shows us in the person of Jesus Christ reassures us
that even when we are weak and fail, the Lord's compassion and
forgiveness are always there. Not only this, he gives us his power to
overcome sin through prayer and the sacraments. But you have to try to
do your part also by not putting yourselves in situations where doing
the right thing is extremely difficult. Loving parents, caring
educators, and understanding spiritual guides should be counted on too
for encouragement and support.
Using the gift of sexuality according to God's plan can lead to the
most deeply fulfilled life a human being can attain loving and being
loved. To you who yearn for such a fulfilled life, Jesus said, "I
have come that they might have life and have it to the full." (John
10:10b)
The Pennsylvania Catholic Bishops Speak to Those Who
Influence the Formation of Youth:
TO PARENTS
You are the primary and most important teachers your children will
ever have. It is through your example that they receive values which
will orient their lives. Your marital relationship can show them a
living definition of what committed love and intimacy mean. Be sure of
what your own Catholic-Christian values are regarding human sexuality.
Talk about these values with your children. Use situations and examples
from school, from among their friends, from what they see and hear in
the media to initiate discussion and to explain to them why you feel as
you do about the behaviors involved.
TO EDUCATORS
As teachers and school administrators you complement the role of
parents in teaching their children the meaning of sexuality in their
lives. Curricula in human sexuality education which teach both
abstinence and "safe sex" are sending contradictory and
therefore confusing signals to young people. Nor can education in
sexuality be reduced to a treatment of mere biological facts and
processes unattached to their ethical moorings in the human person. At
all times the rights of conscience and religious conviction of both
students and parents should be respected in the formulation of curricula
in this area. You should actively encourage parents, clergy, and
interested members of the community to cooperate in developing
satisfactory programs.
TO THE CLERGY
Priests have a special responsibility to explain with clarity the
Church's teaching on sexuality. Homilies, sacramental preparation,
individual counseling and formal education programs for youth and adults
should include such instruction when it is appropriate. This will not
only provide sound moral guidance for young people, but help and support
parents in fulfilling their responsibility as the primary educators of
their children. Finally, you are called upon to be instruments of God's
mercy and of compassionate human understanding in ministering to those
who approach you in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
TO MEDIA PROFESSIONALS
You who work professionally in the media, including television,
movies, radio, theater, music and the press, have a pervasive influence
in shaping societal attitudes toward human sexuality. With this
potential you have comes also a profound and inescapable responsibility
especially toward young people whose moral sense is in the process of
formation. Consequently, financial considerations or ratings status
cannot be the only criteria in producing pieces for the media. Media
presentations often trivialize or even ridicule sexual abstinence in the
unmarried, and faithfulness and commitment in married partners, by
making these values seem out-of-date or irrelevant to real life. This
does a grave disservice to young people because they are led to believe
that casual sexual activity, especially so-called "safe sex,"
can be responsible behavior or in their best interests. On the other
hand, the many presentations in the media which portray healthy family
life are to be applauded for providing viable role models after which
young people can pattern their own lives. We call upon you, therefore,
to communicate in your productions that sexuality is a beautiful gift
from God and that when it is used as ordained by Him, it fulfills one's
life.
Used with permission of the Pennsylvania Catholic Conference
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