My God, how often have I turned
away from You
How often tried to quell Your whispered word.
The more I fled away ~ the more I felt You near
Pleading, waiting, asking to be heard.
"Lord of the Universe"
~ was not enough for You.
Great as was the title, yet I knew
Holding sway and being "Master of my "heart" "
Was a conquest that meant more to you.
How I longed for peace and yet,
made war with Peace,
Striving to be free ~ to break this chain.
Attracted by a love that was too great for me,
Quivering in separation’s pain.
All or nothing was the challenge
You would fling.
You had given all that Love could give.
On the cross Your Life’s blood had flowed out for me.
You had tasted Death that I might live.
Lesser loves I sought to take the
place of Yours.
Could earth’s beauty, music, friendship ~ last?
Once I’d wrest my heart from out Your wounded Hands,
Could I face what "might have been" ~ and passed?
Where is love to equal what You
Nothing in the world is worth a soul.
Whither hast Thou fled, Beloved, answer me?
Come and shake the anguish of my soul.
Now that I would seek Thee, Thou
art hid from me.
Will this yearning for You not be stilled?
Is this thirst the answer to Your Love’s Demands?
Will I ever drink and not be filled?
- Sister Mary Raphael